Chapter 35 Creed
Creed
Never thought I’d find someone or something I hate in this realm more than my father or the Abandon.
Turns out, it’s not exactly a someone or a something. It’s someone’s something.
I fucking loathe the sight of Thayla’s tears.
I’ve never had a desire so strong to both go on a soul-snatching spree and cuddle at the same time.
Fucking cuddle.
My soul is making me soft.
It may not be entirely my soul’s fault that I’m desperate for her touch, but it most certainly contributes to it.
It was raising absolute hell in my chest when she broke down. Then when she had the fucking audacity to try to shove it away, I thought it was going to rip my insides to shreds.
It didn’t settle down until I had her in my arms.
Even now, it’s pushing my limits, demanding I pull her foot into my lap so I can feel her skin against mine.
It’s going to drive me insane.
Literally.
Unlike the souls I have trapped down in Hellveilious, I don’t actually hear my soul speak. It isn’t a separate entity or anything like that. What it is and where the annoyance of it comes from, it’s the deepest, most intimate part of myself, just as anyone else’s soul is theirs.
It knows what you really want before even your conscious does.
You can’t hide things from your very being.
No matter how hard you may try.
Fuck knows I’ve tried. I, unlike everyone else, am far more sensitive to my soul and can’t ignore it.
Until Thayla’s arrival, my soul and I had what I’d like to believe was an understanding. We don’t dredge up anything from the depths. We let them lie and die.
That’s no longer the case.
The side of myself that used to get so hurt and offended over someone’s fear of touching me or vice versa was supposed to be long buried under a pile of other shit.
Her continued actions and words of not fearing my touch or her touching me have caused my soul to bring that want to the surface and morph it into a need.
It won’t let it go. It pushes me until I finally give in.
And give in, I do.
The moment I sense her growing nervous once again for whatever is about to come out of Amick’s mouth, I pull her feet into my lap and run my fingers up and down her calf.
“I didn’t know with absolute certainty that this was your true power until I touched the Binding.
Not because it showed me that truth or anything, but because all the pieces finally clicked together for me.
V’s guidance then his silence confused me, followed by how you wielded your power in Hellveilious, then the half answers in the Book of the Gods Binding.
None of it actually lined up until I sensed its power and it felt very familiar to what I felt from you when you starshot to the hot spring. ”
“V’s guidance then silence?” she asks.
He nods. “He went silent after Hellveilious. What I was trying to do that day I asked you and Yemi to collet those six books in the Athenaeum was introduce you to the Beginning Gods’ powers.
V had advised me the best way to get you more comfortable with your power was to introduce you to their power.
Not how they use them now, but what they were created to be.
He said the equalized essence of them inside of you could form a variety of abilities and if you knew the good they could do, it’d help outweigh the bad. ”
“So why was I only collecting six books?” she asks.
“There’s very minimal information about the God of Boundaries.
I’ve read everything I can on him, but all of those resources have been from other sources.
All material on him, supposedly, disappeared when he did.
The only place I know for certain that would hold anything directly about him is in the restricted room. ”
“Two things. One, maybe we should break in there and see. It’d benefit more than us to learn about him, and two, do you think he’s somewhere here, just…
I don’t know, hiding, or do you think maybe he’s in another realm?
What if he wasn’t here when the portals closed, so now he’s stuck somewhere else? ”
“I’m down for another break-in,” Riven agrees immediately, pulling a smirk to Thayla’s mouth.
I wait for Amick’s disagreement and his argument that it’s too risky, but it never comes.
“I’d love to gain access to that room again. This time more thought out, possibly at night, but I’ll have to worry about that after this week. It’d benefit Yemi greatly to have a deeper understanding of her domain, and for you as well. As for his whereabouts—”
“Wait a second, how in the realm did you figure that out? We haven’t said anything. She wasn’t ready to talk about it.”
“Hold on,” Kyzen and I say at the same time as our gazes bounce between her and Amick.
“Yemi’s domain is under the God of Boundaries? That hasn’t happened in…” Kyzen trails off, thinking about the last time this ever occurred.
“In multiple centuries. Hence why I assume her Deliverance said unspeakable and she was bound,” Amick finishes for Kyzen, then turns all of his attention back to Thayla.
“I started building a list of domains she could have the morning she called Riven out, but on the ship, I was standing beside Havar when a tentacle nearly smacked right on top of him, but then it bounced off an invisible shield. I knew it wasn’t his power, and when I whirled around, her hand was stuck straight out, aimed at him.
Then I thought about how Creed’s and Sevryn’s fists bounced off something when they attempted to hit each other outside of Hellveilious.
It was then I realized it was barriers.”
“You haven’t been able to sense it before now?” I ask.
“No, because she doesn’t often use it and it seems to stay well-hidden when not used. Which makes sense.”
“I feel like we’re talking about a different kind of sensing power than what you taught me.”
I glance at her. Her eyebrows are drawn down in concentration and confusion.
“We are to an extent. Amick’s ability gives him a greater awareness of other people’s powers.
He can sense them but also because of his knowledge, he usually can go as far as knowing their domain.
There’s a handful of people, such as us, the High Chancellor, Ellian, people he’s closest to, he can sense us before seeing us even if we aren’t using our power. ”
She nods repeatedly like that makes complete sense to her.
“I didn’t think to bring that up to you as it’s not exactly an ability.
I do have a greater awareness of power, but I’ve purposely taught myself to do more than that since I’m the only one of us without any defensive capabilities.
We’re straying far off the subject I’d like to address, though, so last answer to your previous question.
“I’m not sure where the God of Boundaries may be.
It’s hard for me to imagine he’s just been hiding in this realm, not answering any calls or interfering whatsoever in the issues among the Beginning Gods.
Him not being in this realm explains why the barrier around the Abandon is weakening, but the barrier around Hellveilious is not.
I can argue the possibilities of both scenarios, but at the end of the day, his whereabouts are as much of a mystery as they’ve always been. ”
Personally, I don’t think he’s here.
I don’t know how in the fuck he could be and is willingly ignoring everything going on. I have no doubt his ass would’ve stepped in and said hell no when our father did what he did to create us.
“Add that to my catalog of things I’d like to learn about,” Thayla says and Amick nods enthusiastically, drawing a chuckle from Kyzen, and my eyes roll.
He and his catalogs.
“V,” Amick calls, and I hold in my flinch when the Vedarya starshoots on the back of the couch.
Right behind me.
“Is it my turn to speak?”
“I’d like you to add in on anything I’m going to explain.”
“Very well, about time.”
Thayla scoffs at him, but there’s a loving smile on her face that gives away the fact she’s not really annoyed.
I subtly shift away when V waddles down the back cushion of the couch. I’m not as inconspicuous as I’d like to be, though.
“Still worried you’re going to kill me if you touch me?”
I keep facing Amick. “Not as much.”
“That fear of yours should be gone by now, my boy. Since we’re in the business of pushing people’s fears today, I’ll shove a little as well. You have the best seat in the living room, and I’d like it, so if I may.”
The fucking creature digs his damn claws into my forearm and walks his way up until he’s perched on my shoulder like I’m a tree limb. He smacks me in the face when he ruffles out his feathers, then has the audacity to nuzzle himself down.
“You’re trying to tempt me.”
“No, just showing you there’s nothing to fear and it’s all in your head. You’re no longer an infant, haven’t been for many years. You have control over your powers now.”
He lets out a small hoot, not giving me the chance to say shit, and I fall statue-still. “You may proceed, Amick.”
Meddling-ass creature. We’re surrounded by them.
“Thank you. So as we know, the Messenger was created by the Valories, using the Gods Binding, which in turn gave the Messenger a touch of each of their essence. They didn’t manifest abilities because the Valories didn’t allow it.
They weren’t trying to create another being like the gods, but one that would guide them.
“Those streaks of essence gave them a special kind of tie to each Beginning God. Like how we speak to Derivius, the Messenger can do that, at any moment, for any reason, to any Beginning God. It’s a clear two-way mental communication.
That’s where the true fear of this being came from.
The gods feared that since the being had access to speak to directly in their minds, then they had the ability to hear all their thoughts.