Thayla
The murmurs float in one ear and out the other.
For hours now, I’ve sat on Yemi’s couch, staring at the wall in front of me. Every plea to Derivius goes ignored. Every response from V, Verlet, and Seismet is comforting, yet not helpful.
Lambrit, Rose, and Havar all appeared minutes after me, peppering me with questions and showering me with reassurance and affection.
None of it is helping.
Ellian came by as well. He was patient with me as I explained what happened. He’s canceling our rotations throughout the Godsdawn for the time being and promised that if he heard from Derivius, I’d be the first to know.
I haven’t heard anything.
My knee hasn’t stopped bouncing from the restraint it’s taking to keep my powers locked beneath my skin.
It’s a fucking battle keeping in check the rage burning in me.
“Do you want to sleep here tonight or come to my house?” Lambrit asks as he sits beside me on the couch.
I blink out of my staring and fall into his very serious gaze. I’m not choosing either of those options, but I appreciate his effort more than I can explain right now.
“Or if it’s more comfortable for you, we’ll all come have a sleepover at your house,” Rose offers, undoubtedly picking up on the rejection about to spew through my lips.
“I really appreciate that, you guys, but—”
“But nothing. We’re all staying together until we know what the fuck is going on. Pick where you plan to sleep. I’m exhausted.”
I sneer at Sevryn. Even Yemi’s harsh whisper of his name doesn’t lessen the glare I give him.
Bossy fucker.
If Creed were here, he’d tell him…
Oh, gods.
A lump forms in my throat and the backs of my eyes burn as I choke down the fury that rushes me. I haven’t stopped thinking about them. It’s impossible, but the longer the hours stretch by, far past our normal bedtime, the harder it’s becoming to shove my emotions down.
How the fuck am I supposed to sleep in my bed, sleep in general while they’re stuck with that crazy—
“Little troububbllling,” Derivius hiccups and slurs in my mind and I sit straight up. The entire house goes silent at my gasp. “Come to my temple.”
“I got to go,” I mutter, shoving myself off the couch, and V hoots from the sudden movement.
“Whoa, Thay. Wait. Where are you going?” Lambrit shouts as I sling the door open.
“To see Derivius,” I holler over my shoulder as I race outside.
“V. Take me to his temple, please.”
Everyone’s yelling silences as he starshoots us through the dead of night into the even deader tree line that surrounds Derivius’s temple. Dim flickers of light dance with the shadows spilling through the open stone door and I haul ass inside.
My steps slow as the sound of him singing, horribly loud, pierces my ears. A clank of a bottle hitting the rubble ground echoes through the empty space.
“Derivius.”
“Ah, you made it. Come, come. Have a drink with me.”
My eyebrows shoot to my hairline as he raises another bottle in the air. A glass appears in his other hand, and he fills it past the fucking brim. An unhinged laugh pours through his lips as the liquor spills over his fingers.
“You’re drunk.”
“Very. Come join me. It’s so depressing drinking alone. I miss the mortals. They loved to party.”
He sloshes the drink around as he waves it at me, and I stomp toward him and snatch it out of his hand.
“Oops. Party foul on you. You’re wasting the good stuff.”
“The good stuff, Derivius? Are you fucking kidding me right now? You were supposed to be figuring out what to do about the guys. Not…not drinking your fucking issues away in this dilapidated temple.”
My shout echoes around us and the torches along the walls flicker.
A chair appears in front of him, and he gestures for me to take a seat. He can’t even form fucking words through his damn hiccups.
“Sit. Drink. Let me explain.”
I sneer at him and the strong smell of alcohol.
It’s not that I have an issue with drinking. I’ve just never been a drinker. In the past, whatever mood I had going on prior to drinking, intensified with each drink. Needless to say, in Oddian, I wasn’t a fun person to party with.
He flicks his wrist at me again, and I huff as I plop down in the seat he made for me. Despite myself, I take a small sip of the brown liquid. Surprisingly, it isn’t too strong or bitter.
“Good, isn’t it? It’s so smooth and burns so nicely.”
He lets out a loud-ass “Ah!” after he guzzles some down.
“What the fuck is going on, Derivius?”
He sighs. “We’ve been betrayed again, little troublling. Played like poorly tuned fiddles.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Please, for the fucking love of the stars, explain what that means.”
“What that means is we aren’t getting the boys back.
Obliteration, Seduction, Creation…Accord played us.
I talked shit to Kira about not reading the fine print, but neither did I.
Neither did Amick, or Nero, or anyone but Accord and Creation, apparently.
There’s a fine, itsy-bitsy clause in Creation’s section that states each year, she’s granted the right to spend a day with the boys.
She can call upon those days whenever she pleases. ”
“Yeah, I get that. That’s literally why they’re there now.”
“No, no, no. You aren’t listening. Just as I didn’t read. She can call upon those days whenever.”
Those days…
I jump from my seat, chest heaving. “She hasn’t seen them in twenty years.”
“There you go. Now you get it. She has nineteen and a half days left with them. By decree. In thirty-six hours, she and the others will appear at the Neutral and wait for their arrival, knowing good and well they can’t arrive.”
My breathing labors as I pace in front of the chair and a heat flash rips through my blood.
“Calm down, Thayla. We’ll figure this out.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down, V! What the hell are we going to do?”
Neither he nor Derivius answers me.
A bellow tears from my throat as I throw the glass across the temple and scream my rage. I swear I wish this place weren’t already falling the fuck apart. I’d tear it all to shreds.
“This is all my fault.” My gaze cuts to Derivius’s mournful admission as my shoulders shake. “If I had never betrayed the Valories all those years ago, none of this would’ve happened. None of you would’ve been born. None of this…shit would’ve been happening.”
My forehead wrinkles as I stare at him.
“What does that mean?”
“I, dear sweet troublling, am the first betrayer. I betrayed the creator’s trust by announcing to them I was in love, and there was nothing they could do about it.”
My fingers flex at my sides as I watch a distant cloud coat his blue eye. His current condition isn’t helping, but that look isn’t only from the alcohol.
“You…” I lower myself back into my seat as he rests his elbows on his knees. “You were the first to break the rules about Beginning Gods not having relationships.”
“Oh, not only that. I deceived my love. All my counterparts. I told them all I told the Valories the truth of my affection toward Rella and they gave me their blessing. They gave all of us their blessing.”
My mouth parts.
“They didn’t, though.”
“Absolutely not.” He chuckles, staring up through his moon window, then back at me.
“I wasn’t giving my relationship up, though.
If I was going down, they were going down with me.
Rella made me…feel things I never felt. I fell in love with her the moment I laid my eyes on her.
My perfect pair. She complemented me, and I her. ”
My fingers rest against my trembling lips.
He was her Attendant.
“Anywhos, it wasn’t like the others weren’t already fornicating with each other.
They had just never admitted their love for one another.
Obliteration has always been obsessed with Creation.
Consequence with Seduction. Val…Val was the only one of us who wouldn’t step past that boundary. He was always the smartest of us all.”
I shake my head and stare at him, dumbfounded.
“So that was the event that originally caused the Valories to turn their backs on all of you and then create the Messenger to relay messages rather than speak to you.”
“Yep. They quickly learned, though, that rejecting our wants would result in us stripping power from them. Pesky little downside of our creation and way of life. Just as the prayers of the people give us power, our prayers to our creator give them power.”
I sit back, stunned, and cast my gaze to V. He lets out a small hoot as he ruffles his feathers.
“So after the truth of the Valories not truly giving their blessing came out, they disowned you?”
“Oh no. My disownment came many, many years later. The moment the Valories turned their backs on us, they all knew the truth of my little fib. It was too late by then. They were all madly in love. My disownment came after I tried to kill Seduction.”
My eyes widen and I throw my hands up.
“Whoa, hold on, back up. Where the hell did that come from?”
He chuckles, but it’s far from humorous. It’s laced with a sorrow that buries itself into my heart.
“She was never satisfied with just Suma. Poor, poor Consequence.” He sighs, shaking his head as a sad smile crosses his lips.
“I’ve always sworn my dear friend had to have seen the consequences he’d faced from falling in love with her.
Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he did, but believed with enough time, he’d change them.
Change her. There’s no changing that rotten, desperate bitch. ”
He tosses his head back with the bottle to his lips. I wait, silently, as he chugs down gulp after gulp.
“As much as I fucking hate Kira, I can and will admit he fell victim to Sabe’s whispers. She wanted to be the goddess of the goddesses. Above all. In her mind, the way to accomplish that was to have the gods, as in Kira, Suma, Val, and me, for herself.