Thayla
I sit with myself for a second, both mourning and embracing the decision I’ve made in my mind.
It’s truly…freeing.
“V,” I say.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Much better,” I breathe. “Will you ask the guys to come to the hot spring, please?”
“Of course,” he hoots.
I wipe my face and laugh a little when two seconds later they all pop up and rush to me.
“You okay, little goddess?” Kyzen asks, then looks around. “Where did Seismet go?”
“Seismet?”
“Yeah. V said you were out here venting and to give you a minute. We thought…” he trails off, staring at my arched brow.
“I was with Iric. Not Seismet.”
His mouth pops open, and the others look just as shocked.
“Did he use his power on you?” Creed grits out, scowling.
I smirk.
“He did. With my permission.”
The glare on his face only softens the slightest bit.
Amick hesitates, studying every inch of me. “And?”
“It went great, but…” I take a deep breath and let my gaze roam across them. “I need all of your help with something.”
“Anything,” they echo.
“I need you to cut my hair.” They flinch like that was the last thing they expected me to say. “I hate how long it is. That’s why I always keep it up.”
“Then why have you always kept it that long?” Riven asks with his head cocked to the side like he’s so confused.
I chuckle, then sigh.
“My mom…her name is Anylah. She was the most stunning person I’ve ever seen in my life. At the time they left me, her hair, which is the same color as mine, was down her butt. I used to think it was so beautiful. She’d let me play in it, braid it, do whatever I wanted. I loved it so much.”
My fingers rub the blades of grass and I close my eyes, pretending for just a moment it’s her hair.
“I swore I’d never cut it and once they returned to me, it’d be the same length as hers.
I…I don’t care about that anymore. I don’t care for her pride or approval.
I don’t care to hear my dad tell me how much I look like her and how the only thing he contributed to me was the colors of my eyes.
Honestly, I don’t want them to come back.
I’m beyond ready to let go of the daydream I’ve built up in my mind.
It’s not reality, and it’s not my truth.
I want this, and I want you all to do it for me. ”
The small smiles on their faces are so minuscule compared to the massive amount of love they’re pouring through their souls and into me. It’s breathtaking in the best way.
“Okay.”
Their agreement pulls a deep breath from my lungs, and I relax my tense shoulders.
“I also…” I trail off, closing my eyes as I center myself and my thoughts. “I’m so sorry, you guys.”
“For wanting to cut your hair?” Riven asks.
“No,” I snort and give him a grateful smile.
“For taking so long to do this. To let go of the things that’ve been holding me back.
You all have been so patient and understanding.
Each moment that I’ve reacted or said something or did something out of habit from my past, you’ve all just ridden the storm.
You all have put your all into softening a heart that you didn’t harden.
I…it literally means the realm to me. You all mean the realm to me. ”
They stare at me so intensely, my breathing labors.
“Thayla,” Kyzen says, taking my hands in his.
“You have stuck beside us through everything. Every secret, every revelation, every battle. You have had our backs fiercer than any other being to ever walk this realm. We love you for you. Every stage of you, we’ve loved and accepted.
This isn’t the first or last time we all change.
We have an eternity to go together, and we’re going to support each other through every second of it. ”
I give him a small smile as my bottom lip trembles. My head tilts to the side as Creed runs his thumb across it.
“You’ve done more than soften our hearts,” he says as he caresses my face so softly. “You’re literally saving our souls.”
They make mine whole.
I kiss his fingers before he pulls them away, then my gaze falls on Amick’s as he tucks my hair behind my ear and rubs my earlobe.
“You never have to apologize to us for taking your time becoming who you are and learning as you go. We’ve been doing that as well. I hope we all spend the rest of our lives growing and becoming better for each other.”
“I do too,” I murmur.
I mean that wholeheartedly.
“I’ve already told you you’re an angel among us gods,” Riven says, and I cast my eyes to his. “You have more love to give than you know what to do with. I’m going to spend my life feasting on it and giving you back everything I got in me.”
My lids drift shut, and I don’t bother wiping away the slow, happy tear that slides down my cheek.
I sit in it.
In their comfort. Their love.
Their lips lay against my skin, and I release a shaky breath as I squeeze each of them and stroke their souls.
“So, who’s ready to cut some hair?” I ask.
They move behind me as one, with small chuckles leaving their lips, and they run their fingers through my hair.
“Any idea how long or short you want it, gorgeous?” Kyzen asks.
“Whatever you all think will look best. I’ve never had it anything but on the longer side.”
“Not trying to make this about me or anything, but if I have a say-so, I’d like it long enough to still wrap around my fist.”
“Riven.” The other three bark, and I slap my hand over my mouth to hide my laugh.
“He’s got a point, though. I do like it when one of you pulls my hair,” I mumble and the air around us shifts.
“Fuck, don’t say stuff like that right now,” Creed grunts. “We’re trying to be serious.”
“I’m seriously fucking har—”
“Don’t finish that crude comment,” Amick snaps, cutting Riven off.
I just smile toward the trees.
“Amick, you should be the one to cut,” Kyzen says.
“What? Why me?”
“You’re the most precise.”
“Most precise? Have you suddenly forgotten you can balance a sword on the tip of your finger without cutting yourself? You’re the most precise and steady-handed.”
The two of them bicker back and forth for a second before Riven lets out an ear-piercing whistle.
“You two argue like a grumpy old married couple. It’s exhausting.
” We all stare at him. He’s so full of shit.
“I’m going to pick the length. Amick, separate her hair into sections and make sure they’re even.
Creed, get us something to cut with, then Kyzen, you’re doing the cutting. Bam. That’s the plan.”
We sit silently for a second, then collectively let out a hum of agreement.
“You all get on my nerves. My plans are always spectacular.”
“Right.” We all chuckle and he rolls his eyes.
They waste no time doing as he said, though.
Amick parts my hair into sections slowly, running his fingers through the strands until every knot is untangled. He places two sections over my shoulders, and I believe he splits two more against my back.
After running his hands through countless more times, he meets my gaze.
“Ready, Mysenta?”
I breathe.
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
My eyes drift shut as he lays a kiss on my forehead. I give myself a moment to bask in his comfort even after he moves away from me. When I blink them back open, they collide with a stunning mismatch set.
“You’re going to love it.”
“I already do because it’s you four doing it.”
He smiles, giving me a wink as he pinches the strands between his fingers. They lie a few inches below my collarbone, and he nods.
“That’s probably two feet. You want to go longer first and see if you like it?”
I shake my head.
“Nope. Where you picked is where I want it.”
“Okay then. Come on, Kyzen. Do your thing.”
He scoots over, letting Kyzen situate himself shoulder to shoulder with him. He releases a deep breath as he looks me in the eyes.
“I’ve got you, gorgeous.”
“I know you do.”
He raises a dagger—my dagger—and exhales one more time.
“Wait,” Creed says, and everyone freezes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
He moves the other two out of his way as he kneels in front of me, holding my second dagger. His fingers wrap around my wrist, and he lays the handle in my palm.
“You’re putting an end to a large era of your life. You’re shedding away darkness that’s held you down. You need to make the first cut, my endling.”
A shuddering breath pours out of me, and I swallow the lump in my throat.
All four of them hold my hair in place as my hand shakes.
“You’ll clean it up for me if I cut it fucked up, right?” I ask Kyzen.
“I’ll do whatever you need me too.”
I nod and raise the dagger before I can change my mind.
My exhale turns into a gasp as the blade slides through clean and effortless. The weight on that side of my head leaves me before all the strands can hit my thigh. I thought it would hurt or feel like something was being taken from me.
Instead, I can breathe.
So much so, a disbelieving laugh bubbles out of me.
I stare at the long strands as Creed gathers them in his hand and holds them out to me. They tickle my nose as I bring them to my face and inhale sharply.
Then…I obliterate them.
“Again,” I say.
Kyzen smiles and gets to work without another word.
After he slices through the other section, he moves behind me and does the same. The four of them murmur among themselves, telling him where to level or touch up. Each cut is lighter than the last.
The lack of weight sitting on me draws tears to my eyes.
My fingers run through the short, soft strands as Kyzen lays them back over my shoulders.
“Oh no,” Riven mutters. “You hate it.”
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head, allowing a reckless tear to fall. “I love it so much. I love all of you so much. I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me.”
They crowd closer to me, wrapping their arms around me and laying their lips wherever they can reach.
“There isn’t a thing in this realm we wouldn’t do for you, Thayla,” Creed whispers in my ear.
I know that. I know that with every piece of my heart and soul.