Chapter 10 #2
Allen switches from my ART to his rigged one and keeps tapping.
Silence spreads between us, but it’s the comfortable kind.
I can feel Allen’s contentment through the link, and I realise this is the sort of challenge he enjoys.
His energy is soothing, and I lie down next to him, my legs crossed at the ankles, soaking in this feeling.
I can just be myself with Allen, without having to do or say anything.
After my meltdown this afternoon, I no longer feel alone.
‘Is this how you feel with other Empaths?’ I ask Allen, closing my eyes.
‘Nah,’ he says. ‘There are few of us, anyway. You and me, we’re on the same wavelength. I think it would be easy to communicate with you, even if you didn’t have that sort of weird power. We’re just a good fit. It is that way with some people. I can’t explain it.’
‘What? It’s too complex a concept, even for your big brain?’
Allen gives me a low laugh, and I feel more relaxed than I’ve felt in days.
I yawn. ‘Did I ever tell you that I love you, man?’
‘You don’t need to,’ he says, warm amusement seeping through our link like a warm hug. ‘I can feel it.’
‘I still feel it needs saying. I love you. I love this link. I love spending time with you. It makes me feel so warm inside.’ I stretch my arm, and butt up against his thigh, but I realise that Allen enjoys the small touch. He would. He’s a big teddy bear. ‘I want to hug you,’ I say.
‘You can hug me all you want, and I think you’ll want to once I’m finished with what I’m doing for you.’
Right on cue, the opening to the tent parts, and Mace crawls in. But the tent is only so big, and I have to squeeze in closer to Allen – and his naked chest – to make room for Mace.
‘What are you doing here?’ Mace says, glaring between me and Allen with a frown. The corners of his lips are turned down, and I’m sick of his disapproval. It’s like a punch to my stomach, every single time.
I lean forwards and pull up at the tips of Mace’s mouth. ‘There, I fixed it for you.’ I try not to think of how soft his lips feel under the tips of my fingers, or about the telling tug in my belly, when he flinches.
‘What are you doing?’ he says.
‘Putting a smile on your face, Mace,’ I reply. ‘Ever heard about one of those?’
‘I’m not sure that’s the right way to do it,’ he says, one corner of his lips curling upward.
I high-five Allen. ‘There? You see? I did it.’
Allen shakes his head. ‘I have to agree with Mace on this one, love. There are other ways to put a smile on his face. You should try them.’
I furrow my brow at him. Could you not bring this up? In front of him?
Allen crinkles his nose. But why? It’s just so fun.
Mace’s half-smile falters. ‘It’s very annoying when the two of you have conversations that none of us can hear.’
‘Jealous much, Mace?’ Allen mutters, then passes on my ART. ‘I think I’m done. Why don’t you give it a try? If you drag down the menu in your music app, you’ll find a new option to send to your bean.’
I do as Allen says and one of my favourite upbeat songs starts blaring in my ear. I squeal and then jump to hug him. ‘You. Are. The. Best.’
Allen starts laughing and then shows me how to share the song I’m playing on his bean, too. ‘Ooh, how come this works?’ I say. ‘I thought that we couldn’t use our ARTs to communicate during the mission.’
‘It must be a glitch,’ Allen says. ‘Or it didn’t occur to Command that sending each other songs would be in any way relevant. Should we let Mace in on this?’
‘Fine,’ I say on a sigh. I’m pretty sure that he’ll find a way to ruin the fun for us.
‘Give me your ART,’ Allen says, bobbing his head to the music. ‘You know, this song is a bit too cheery for my taste, but I have to admit that it puts me in a certain mood.’
Mace is back to frowning. ‘I don’t want to.’
Allen stretches out his hand. ‘Do you trust me or not?’
Mace hands him the ART but looks displeased. ‘That was downright emotional blackmail.’
Allen chuckles as he works on Mace’s device – not for long – then hands it back to him. ‘Try sending the song to him, Ellie.’
I open the menu bar like Allen showed me to, and in no time, Mace flinches, grabbing for his ear. ‘What in the name?—’
Allen and I explode in peeling laughter.
‘You’re welcome,’ I say. ‘And Allen, I really, really love you. You just handed me the perfect weapon to torture Mace with when he annoys me. I’ll just play a really loud, really cheery song.
It could be like code for “you forgot to smile, arsehole”. Or “behave”.’
Mace punches commands on his ART until his shoulders sink with relief. ‘Why would you need to send me a song to tell me something, when you could just say it outright? That’s why we have the beans that Allen designed.’
I roll my eyes. ‘Way to take the fun out of it, Mace.’
‘Oh, I forgot. Everything has to be “fun” for you, or you’re not interested. Instead of spending your time resting or developing something of use, this is why you hide in a tent, like two teenagers sharing a secret?’
I’ve had enough. I get up in a crouching position, and shove him out of my way, heading outside. ‘Thanks for everything, Allen. Really, mate, I owe you one.’
I ignore Mace, but he won’t have it. I’m one foot out the flap, when he catches my arm. ‘Hey. Wait a second.’
I brush him off, but my stomach makes a somersault at that possessive, demanding touch. I hate him for that, and I hate him for barging into my quiet moment and making my head spin, and leaving me confused and annoyed, like he always does.
He pulls me back down to sit in Allen’s tent. ‘We need to talk about your powers,’ Mace says.
‘I thought you’d never mention it,’ Allen says.
‘What is it about my powers?’ I look up at the hard angle of his jaw, the purse of his lips, and he catches my wandering gaze, his eyebrows drawing a little tighter, as if trying to say, Not now, Ellie.
Allen says, ‘I— I don’t know if you’re aware, but I managed to download a bit of information from the block we found in the cave.’
‘You did?’ Mace’s eyes glint.
‘I found training protocols for two unnamed Quarters,’ Allen says. ‘Protocols that I couldn’t match up with the ones at The Citadel.’
‘What do you mean?’ I say.
Mace scowls, but it’s the I’m-focusing-right-now scowl. ‘You think it may be tied to Ellie’s powers,’ he says.
‘I don’t know.’ Allen shrugs.
‘What are the protocols, exactly?’ Mace pushes.
‘I have too little information for them to make sense,’ Allen says. ‘I should have downloaded more. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise.’
‘It’s fine,’ I say. ‘Stella did mention a few days ago that we should try to download information and merge it with the information blocks at The Citadel.’ I lower my voice and hope that Central Command isn’t listening.
‘Interesting,’ Allen says. ‘So Stella wants to restore those blocks to her main frame.’
‘I don’t think it was a coincidence that Stella sent us to that cave,’ Mace says.
‘It wasn’t,’ I confirm.
‘But we’re not in a position to question Central Command’s decisions. I’m sure they did it for the best of the citizen,’ he adds.
Allen rolls his eyes and our gazes meet. Isn’t he a good little Warrior.
I snort. Agreed.
‘I always thought that my powers were simply too unspecific,’ I admit reluctantly. ‘Like my parents’.’
Mace hums. ‘You were so good, Ellie. It doesn’t make any sense to me that you’d rank so low in your Quarter. There must be something we’re missing. And I’ve never seen anything like that shield.’
My chest warms at his words. ‘Are you, by any chance, acknowledging that I brought any contribution whatsoever to this mission? Why, I don’t know who you are anymore, Mace Hardfield.’
‘So, we know that you can make an impenetrable shield that acts like a force field,’ he says, still focused and serious.
‘And that you can block Stella’s sensors completely if you send out your power.
We don’t know what that shield does against Warriors’ weapons, or other human beings.
What if there’s a different way of weaving your power that produces completely different outcomes? ’
‘With Stella’s sensors?’
‘Not just that. With everything. And how can we teach you how to do that?’ he asks.
I can see the strategist in Mace, the thoughtful team captain. I can see also that blade of coldness. This cold, calculating version of Mace would indeed be suited for Central Command.
I can see how he might tiptoe that boundary, and that there’s no telling which version of himself he’ll settle into in twenty years. Are all the Commanders unfeeling, or have emotions and the ties to other people been peeled from them, bit by bit?
‘If there are new training protocols, this means that there are Quarters we never heard of before. Why would they be hidden from us?’ Allen says.
‘We’re veering off path,’ Mace says.
‘The path has been swallowed by the woods, chewed by wild beasts, and spat down a waterfall,’ I say.
Mace supresses a smile and I chalk that down as a win.
This feels so familiar. This was always the rhythm of our interactions.
He was quiet and grumpy, and I behaved like a clown, wrenching smiles from him, which put me in an even better mood.
Mace’s smiles have always been addictive, and it was a vicious circle of joy.
The more time we spent together, the happier we were.
How could I have ever forgotten? Mace was always hiding behind a wall. Until I coaxed him out.
‘The point is,’ he says, ‘that maybe there are reasons why you couldn’t fit into any of the Quarters properly.’
‘Did you spend an inordinate amount of time, Mace, thinking about me?’ The words are out before I can keep myself in check.
Mace exchanges a look with Allen – he seems worried. ‘I’m not sure you received the training best suited to your powers at The Citadel. You can add something significant to the team, and it would be a shame not to make the best of it.’