Chapter 13 #3
The next day, I feel vindicated for trying to hide from the truth of what Xandra told me, because the impossibility of us comes barrelling at me in the shape of a scowling Mace. ‘Ellie, can we talk for a moment?’
My stomach tightens as he pulls me towards the line of trees, because I can absolutely tell it’s nothing good. He avoids my gaze, as he says, ‘Ellie, I don’t know how to say this, but I think that we shouldn’t.’
I know very well what he means, but if he’s about to push me away, the least he could do is say it. ‘Shouldn’t what?’
‘Do what we did … when we danced. I mean, what’s the point?’
I could scream. I could scream because Xandra got to him. Because still he doesn’t understand. And I doubt there’s anything I could say that could make him see things the way that I do. Our lives have been too different since we were torn apart.
‘Of course,’ I say. ‘What’s the point in even trying to be happy?’
‘Ellie…’ he begins, but he seems exhausted by the very idea of arguing with me.
I am not a desperate creature, clutching at straws. It strikes me that, maybe, ‘us’ doesn’t mean as much to him as it means to me. I force myself to swallow down this bitter truth. Mace has different dreams for the future. Ones that don’t include our paths colliding.
Maybe this mission is a game of chance, and this isn’t fate or Stella conspiring to bring us together. Maybe I should take what Mace is giving me – training and advice – without trying to bargain for more.
Who knows what he truly thinks, with the high walls that he’s building around him, adding more and more bricks as the days pass.
He doesn’t want this, I tell myself. For him, it isn’t worth the risk of the team being broken off during the Test Mission. He said himself how important it is for all of them to perform well. He doesn’t need to say it again.
‘I see,’ I say. ‘As you wish.’
I turn and walk away from him, and he doesn’t follow.
Things are definitely weirder as the day progresses. Mace barrels ahead with Xandra, while they talk possible routes to our next checkpoint.
Mid-afternoon, my ART pings with a message from Stella. Julian and I are on scouting duty again, and we’re meant to plant sensors. I welcome the break from the group; I need some time to think.
It’s strangely comforting to roam around the Disputed Lands with Julian, even if Stella is stubbornly keeping troop movements and sightings of dangerous animals from us.
Julian, who is rarely interested in anything that isn’t centred around him, doesn’t ask any questions and leaves me to moon over Mace.
I think about us dancing together, how Mace seemed as absorbed as I was. There was so much need in his eyes, in his every move. And then…
The walls. Those impenetrable walls.
There’s no point in wondering, though. We couldn’t be together, even if we both wanted to. I simply need to stop.
I push the thoughts away, and try to focus on the task at hand: re-establishing a sensor up an outcropping. I’m halfway through setting it up, when Julian lifts his hand to stop me from moving. ‘There’s something up there,’ he says, pointing up at a rock formation.
‘If you say so,’ I reply.
Julian has incredibly keen eyes and moves like a cat, which means it’s sometimes impossible to hear him stalk through the underbrush. Sometimes, all the noise he makes is no more than the wind rustling leaves.
He taps on his ART. ‘I can’t see anything on the map, because it’s out of range. Move quietly,’ he whispers. ‘Follow my lead. We don’t know if this isn’t an ambush waiting to happen.’
‘Warriors from enemy kingdoms?’ I ask, trying to calm my breaths.
‘That, or the other teams. You know what to do in case we manage to capture someone, right?’
I nod. It’s possible for us to ‘capture’ members from rival teams, by slinging a special bracelet around their arms. They’d be led to the next support point or hidden location, where Stella would isolate them for the next three days, shutting them out of the mission. This comes with bonus points.
‘Maybe we should just leave it, though,’ I say, trying to keep close to Julian and follow in his footsteps as he creeps towards our destination.
‘Why?’ he whispers back.
‘Maybe it’s a trap. Maybe they’re trying to capture us,’ I reply.
‘Oh, I’d love to see them try,’ Julian says, almost giddy with excitement.
He moves like a whisper, while behind him I keep snapping twigs and rustling bushes.
‘Could you keep it quiet?’ Julian says.
‘I tried,’ I say. ‘It doesn’t work for me.’
We’re in range of the outcropping now, and there is, indeed, a single silver dot, not far from the location of the sensor we have to plant. It’s a member of Team Silver, then, who’s waiting for us at the top. This reeks of a trap to me, but Julian seems unconcerned.
‘New tactic, then,’ Julian says. ‘Lift your shield. Wait here until I give you the signal and then start running towards the top. I’ll go the long way around and ambush them from the other side.’
‘Fine.’ I nod, and spring up my protective dome.
The minutes trickle by painfully slowly while I list in my head everything that could go wrong. Would the other Apprentices from The Citadel harm us, if they had the chance? It’s not impossible, highly competitive as they are.
Then the bean in my ear rings and I have to drop my shield for a moment, while pulling at my earlobe. ‘Now, Ellie, now,’ Julian says.
I leave the connection active, lift my shield, and run up the outcropping. The figure at the top spots me when I’m halfway up and starts sprinting in the opposite direction. I lose sight of them immediately.
‘They’ve run away,’ I tell Julian.
‘Keep going up,’ he says. ‘I see her.’
I follow the instructions, panting as I keep going. There are backpacks where the figure stood just moments ago, five of them.
‘Stop right there,’ Julian’s voice sounds in my ear.
I halt abruptly. ‘What’s happening?’ I ask.
‘Not you, Ellie,’ he says. ‘I was talking to Chrissy.’
Chrissy? That figure was Chrissy, the best Healer Apprentice? Chrissy, who was livid because of whatever happened between them?
As soon as I reach the top, I see them, making their way towards me – Julian holding her at the point of his magical sword.
‘Nice and easy,’ he says, and I can hear every single word, because of the open connection between us. ‘Don’t try anything stupid. Ellie, open your ART and make sure we’re alone.’
I look at the map, keeping an eye on them, as well. ‘We’re clear.’ When they finally reach me, I pull on my ear to end the call through the famous bean, saying a quiet thanks to Allen for having made them before the mission even started.
Then I look to Chrissy. She isn’t even trying to fight us, but her lips are pursed in blatant displeasure. I can think of at least a dozen reasons why she doesn’t like this. ‘Good to see you, Chrissy,’ I say, trying to be nice. ‘You look well.’
She eyes me scathingly.
Not a single hair of her slick bob seems ruffled, and her bronze skin gleams beautifully in the sunshine. Chrissy doesn’t need scandalously expensive make-up to look good.
‘Ellie,’ Julian says, ‘get the red bracelet out of my backpack.’ He carefully lets it slip from his back, making sure he keeps his magical sword still pointed at her. ‘Don’t try anything, stupid, Chrissy, like running away, or I will stab you.’