Chapter 18
The questions circled in Petra’s mind like vultures, picking at her confidence until she felt raw and uncertain.
She thought about Anna’s enthusiastic organizational plans, which they’d reviewed for over an hour.
The young woman’s energy had been almost overwhelming, but also oddly comforting.
Here was someone who believed Petra could handle the estate, the staff, the business decisions, and everything else that came along with her unexpected inheritance.
Anna treated her like a competent person who just needed some administrative support, not like a helpless civilian who’d gotten in over her head.
Maybe that’s what Seth saw too. Maybe he respected her courage and her determination, and the attraction was real, but it didn’t necessarily mean he wanted anything long-term. Maybe he was just living in the moment, taking comfort where he found it while dealing with a difficult mission.
Maybe she needed to do the same. Enjoy what they had for as long as it lasted and not expect more than he could give. The thought should have been freeing. Instead, it made her want to cry.
Petra moved away from the window and climbed back into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin.
She was being foolish, getting emotionally invested in a man she barely knew, and a relationship that might not even be a relationship at all.
It had just been a few kisses and some heated moments that probably meant more to her than they did to him.
But then she remembered the way he’d looked at her in the library. The way his voice had dropped when he called her beautiful. The careful way he’d touched her, like he was holding back from something he wanted desperately. That hadn’t felt casual. That had felt significant.
Or maybe she was just seeing what she wanted to see.
Petra groaned and pulled a pillow over her face.
This was why she’d always played it safe before.
This uncertainty, this vulnerability, this terrifying hope mixed with fear was exhausting.
How did people do this? How did they open themselves up to someone else without knowing if that person would catch them or let them fall?
Through the open window, she heard a soft sound that was almost like a dog’s huff, but deeper. Her heart jumped. Was Seth out there? Could he hear her tossing and turning, and sense her restlessness even from outside?
The thought was simultaneously comforting and mortifying. She didn’t want him to know how much she was struggling with this. Didn’t want to seem needy or desperate or clingy. He probably valued his independence and freedom to move from job to job without emotional entanglements.
Yet here she was, already entangled, and imagining futures that probably wouldn’t happen.
“Get it together,” Petra whispered to herself. “You’re a grown woman, for Pete’s sake.”
But the truth was, she wanted clarity. She wanted to know if Seth’s feelings matched hers, and if their attraction could possibly become something real and lasting, or if she should protect her heart now before it got completely broken.
Tomorrow, she decided finally. Tomorrow she’d watch how he acted around her and look for signs that this was more than just convenient attraction. If she didn’t see those signs, and he seemed casual or distant or regretful about what had happened in the library, then she’d know for certain.
Then she’d have to find a way to rebuild her walls and get through the rest of this situation without falling any harder for a man who might not be capable of falling for her.
The thought hurt more than it should, given how little time they’d actually known each other.
But the heart, Petra was learning, didn’t operate on logical timelines.
It felt what it felt, reasonable or not.
She closed her eyes and tried to summon sleep, knowing it probably wouldn’t come. But at least lying still gave her mind something to do besides replay every moment with Seth and analyze every word, every touch, and every look for hidden meaning.
Outside, the night sounds continued. Somewhere beyond her window, Seth kept his vigil. And Petra lay awake, yearning for something she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to reach for, even if it was offered.
Even if he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
Maybe especially then. Because wanting something that much meant it could hurt that much more when it was taken away.
And Petra had already lost enough people she loved.
She wasn’t sure she could survive losing someone else, even someone she’d only just found.
But maybe, a small voice whispered in her mind, this time would be different. Maybe Seth was different. Maybe she would be allowed to have something good, something real, something worth the risk of heartbreak.
Petra held onto that thought as she finally drifted toward sleep, her last conscious awareness the sound of the wind in the trees and the distant sense of Seth somewhere in the darkness, keeping watch.
Tomorrow would come soon enough, with all its questions and uncertainties and possibilities. Tonight, she’d let herself hope. Just a little.
Hours later, Petra woke to the sensation of being watched.
Her eyes flew open, heart immediately racing, and she found herself staring at a large golden jackal sitting beside her bed. The animal’s luminous eyes were fixed on her face with an intensity that should have been frightening but somehow wasn’t.
“Seth?” she whispered, her sleep-fogged brain catching up to reality.
The jackal’s ears perked forward and he made a soft chuffing sound that seemed almost apologetic. Then he stood gracefully and padded toward her en suite bathroom, disappearing inside.
Petra sat up, clutching the covers to her chest, her mind racing. Seth was in her bathroom. In jackal form. Which meant…what? Was he about to shift back to human form? Would he be naked when he shapeshifted?
She heard the sound of running water, then a soft rustle of fabric. Her heart was hammering so hard she could hear it in her ears. Should she look away? Pretend to still be asleep? What was the protocol when a man you’d been kissing the night before showed up as an animal in your bedroom at dawn?
Seth emerged from the bathroom and Petra’s breath caught in her throat.
He had a towel wrapped around his hips. Just a towel.
Nothing else. And it was loose. Her mouth watered in response to all the tanned skin that was revealed and the tantalizing way the towel rode low on his hips. Sweet Mother in heaven.
Petra had known Seth was fit. She couldn’t miss that even when he was fully clothed.
But seeing him like this, with morning light streaming through her windows illuminating every sculpted muscle, every plane and angle of his torso, was something else entirely.
His shoulders were impossibly broad, his chest defined in ways that suggested serious dedication to physical training, and his abdomen. Whoa mama.
She forced her eyes up to his face, feeling heat flood her cheeks. Seth was watching her with an expression that might have been amusement mixed with something warmer, and a bit more intense.
“I’m sorry for invading your privacy like this,” he said, his voice still rough from sleep or perhaps from the shift. “But we have a situation.”
“A situation,” Petra repeated, trying very hard to keep her gaze on his face and not let it wander back down to all that exposed skin. “That requires you to be in my bedroom in a towel?”
“Actually, yes.” Seth moved toward the bed with that easy, predatory grace that made her stomach flutter. “May I sit?”
Petra nodded, not trusting her voice. Seth sat on the edge of her bed, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from his skin. He smelled like the outdoors. Like earth and night air and something uniquely him that made her want to lean closer.
“Last night, after you went upstairs, a mage arrived,” Seth began. “Her name is Judy Chetry. She was sent by Sam Kinkaid to help us deal with the magical defenses the Venifucus left behind in the castle and on the grounds.”
“A mage,” Petra said, trying to focus on his words rather than the way the towel sat so low on his hips that she feared it would slide off. “Here? At the castle?”
“She got in late and started neutralizing some entrance wards before going to bed.” Seth’s expression turned more serious.
“About ten minutes ago, she woke up and came marching out into the garden where I was finishing my patrol. She walked right up to me in jackal form, with no hesitation at all, and said we need to start working on your magical defenses immediately. As in right now.”
Petra blinked. “My magical defenses? I don’t have any magical defenses. I barely have any magic at all.”
“That’s the problem.” Seth reached out and took her hand, his thumb brushing across her knuckles in a gesture that was probably meant to be reassuring but just made her more aware of his bare chest and the warmth of his skin.
“Judy says her teacher is a foreseer. According to her vision, the mages are going to return earlier than expected. They’re going to try sneaking back into the castle through their hidden tunnels, and when they find those blocked, they’re going to force a confrontation. ”
Petra’s mouth went dry. “How much earlier?”
“Judy didn’t say exactly. But she was extremely insistent that we start preparing you immediately. She actually threatened to drag you out of bed herself if I didn’t get you up.” Seth smiled slightly. “She’s small but somehow terrifying when she wants to be.”
“And she wants to teach me magic?” Petra asked, trying to wrap her mind around this. “In a few hours or days? Seth, I don’t even know where to start with something like that.”