Chapter 32
thirty-two
AMANDA
Two days passed, and every hour seemed to stretch full of too much space and not enough air.
I kept pretending to Megan that I was fine, and absolutely not checking my phone every fifteen minutes, but she wasn’t fooled.
She kept handing me cups of tea like I was a dried-out houseplant. Who drank tea.
By the second evening, I gave up my resolve and picked up my phone.
I sat on the edge of my bed with my heart hammering in my chest. I stared at the blank message field for longer than I’d meant to, my most recent tea growing cold enough to gain a film.
Hey.
Would it be all right if I came down to visit for a couple of days?
I know I was a bit vague before, but I’d like to try.
With you.
If you still want to.
The moment I hit send, sweat swept over my neck. I flopped onto my back, arms flung dramatically outwards like I was fifteen, not nearly double that. I felt as nervous as a teenager texting a boy for the first time.
My phone buzzed.
I bolted upright, heart in my throat.
No.
Just that sole devastating word.
Cold.
Blunt.
Final.
It hit so hard I felt like someone had come in and stomped right on my chest, fuck. Had a bit of sense made him re-evaluate me?
My mind spiralled into a thousand terrible thoughts. Had it only been sex? If so, Henry deserved a bloody Oscar. Had I been too needy? Did his family decide that he needed someone more fitting? Had I made it weird?
I ruined it. He’d changed his mind. Of course, he’d changed his mind, you absolute twat-faced bell end.
I was halfway into a full, catastrophic spiral when someone knocked at the front door.
A sharp, manly knock.
I froze. Megan appeared from the kitchen, eyebrows raised, and brandishing a wooden spoon like a weapon.
‘You expecting someone?’
I shook my head. My legs felt detached from the rest of me as I followed Megan down the hallway. The knock came again, more insistent.
I opened the door.
And Henry stood there, a mop of blond curls whipped up by the wind.
He was dusted in snow, flakes caught in the mess of his hair. There was a bag slung over his shoulder, like he wasn’t just making a pit stop.
‘You can’t visit.’ His voice was low and a little breathless.
My brain hadn’t caught up. ‘What?’
He stepped closer, snow crunching beneath his boots.
‘You can’t visit me,’ he repeated, ’because I’m not home.’
The words slid into place at once, my heart lurching.
He came to me.
Before I could form another thought, he dropped his bag and cupped my face in both hands. I didn’t care an ounce that his fingers were ice cold. The touch was so familiar and so wanted, I all but melted the moment he touched me.
Then he kissed me.
It wasn’t rushed or frantic; it was slow and certain, like he’d been craving the moment just as badly as me. I held onto the fabric of his snow-dusted coat lest I float away.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead pressed against mine, and we were both breathing as if we’d just finished a marathon.
I managed a whisper. ‘How did you find me?’
He brushed his thumb along my cheek as if he couldn’t help touching me. ‘When you obsess enough over someone, there’s always a way.’
My eyebrows creased, my heart was thudding so loudly I was sure he could hear it.
‘Henry…’
He grinned, sheepish and proud all at once. ‘Alright. Lady L had your Edinburgh address on one of your invoices. She told me not to misuse it. So I immediately disobeyed.’
‘You drove all the way from Otterleigh Bay?’
Through snow and ice. And I’d do it all again for one god damned kiss. Although I’m really hoping you’ll let me in.’
The pleasure that whisked through me had me tugging him inside. I’d spent so long pretending I didn’t need anyone that I’d not seen the woods for the trees.
‘Thank you.’ I reached up and planted another slow kiss on him when I got him safely indoors.
Megan clapped beside me before squealing. ‘You must be Henry. I’ve heard soooo much about you.’
‘Megan,’ I threatened.
‘All good, I hope?’ Henry said, giving my sister a sunny smile.
‘Something about a little piece of metal…’
I picked up a brush and threw it at her.
But I didn’t care.
Henry was here.
He’d chosen to be here.
And for the first time, trying didn’t feel like a risk.