10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
‘ Y ou didn’t need to do that.’
‘It’s the least I could do.’ I swiped a rubber-gloved arm across my forehead to remove some of the scrubbing-induced sweat. ‘Did you manage to get some sleep?’
Cass leaned against the doorframe and yawned. ‘A little. It took me ages to calm down after rowing with Jasper. I hate it when we argue. You’ve done an amazing job in here.’
We both looked around at the sparkling bathroom tiles. The hair dye had come off easier than I’d expected, so I’d set my sights on the grey-black grout, scrubbing hard with an old toothbrush. ‘Thanks, I’ve had plenty of practice. Actually, the job centre rang me up this morning about a cleaning job that’s come in.’
‘What kind of cleaning job?’
‘Cleaning the football stadium after matches.’
Cass shuddered. ‘You can’t do that.’
‘Someone has to.’
‘But not you. Finish up here, Liv, there’ll be no grout left if you scrub any more. There’s something I need to talk to you about.’
I smiled until Cass had left the room, then sank back against the bath, trying to stop the tears which were itching my eyes. She was going to kick us out. That was why she wanted to talk. I knew no one as kind or generous as Cass and Jasper, but even they had their limits. It was plain as day the house was too small for all of us, and Jake had made his feelings on the subject plain.
With rubber gloves removed, and cold water splashed on my face, I went to find Cass in the kitchen. She had the radio playing and danced her way between the kitchen cabinets as she made a pot of coffee. From nowhere, a memory of dancing around the kitchen with Mum entered my head, stealing my breath as my chest tightened. How could it still hurt so much?
‘Oh, there you are,’ said Cass, spinning around and stopping mid pirouette. ‘Sit down, coffee’s almost ready.’
I waited until I had a cup of coffee in front of me before I dared speak. ‘Look, Cass, I know us being here is tough, and you’ll be wanting us out from under your feet…’
‘I love having you here,’ said Cass, covering my hand with hers.
‘And I love being here, but I know it’s not easy for you all. Jake made that clear to us this morning.’
‘Oh, ignore him.’
‘But he had a point. Maybe if I take the cleaning job, I’ll be able to find a small flat somewhere.’
‘On a cleaner’s wage?’ Cass laughed. ‘Liv, have you even checked the price of rentals these days?’
Hopelessness smothered me, and I felt as though I might choke.
‘Listen, when I said I wanted to talk to you, it is about you moving out, but not in the way you think.’
‘How do you mean?’
Cass took a sip of her coffee. ‘OK, before I tell you this, I need you to promise you won’t jump to any conclusions and you’ll let me finish before writing the idea off.’
‘Well now I feel reassured.’
Cass grinned. ‘It’s nothing terrible, I promise.’
‘Go on then.’
‘OK. There’s a girl I work with, Gemma. I was telling her how you’ve come to live with us…’
My ears started ringing. Had my sister been broadcasting my bonfire of a life around the whole hospital?
‘Don’t worry, I kept details to a minimum,’ said Cass, noticing my frown. ‘Anyway, she told me about this place she lived at for a while. It’s somewhere people can go when they’ve run out of road.’
‘A homeless shelter?’
‘No. More like community living.’
‘A cult?’
‘No. Come on,’ said Cass, shaking her head, ‘you said you’d let me finish. It’s not a homeless shelter, it’s not a cult either. Like I said, it’s community living. Gemma explained it better than I am. She said it feels like an extended family. They take people in who need a bit of time and space to figure things out. Some stay for a few days, some have been there for years.’
‘How much does it cost?’
‘Whatever you can afford. If you can’t afford to pay anything, you contribute in other ways: gardening, maintenance, cooking, cleaning. Gemma says everyone mucks in in whatever way they can.’
‘Where is it?’
‘Mid Cornwall, so only an hour away.’
‘What about Bertie?’
‘If everything Gemma said is true, he’d love it.’
‘I need to get him into a school.’
‘I know, but he’s young and intelligent. A few more weeks of missed education won’t harm him in the long run.’
‘Won’t it just delay the mounting decisions I need to make?’
‘Another way of looking at it is it will give you the time and space you need to figure things out.’
‘What if it’s awful?’
‘I thought we could have a look at it this afternoon, if you’re keen?’
‘I’m not sure keen’s the right word…’
‘Great. I’ll finish my coffee, have a shower, then we’ll set off.’
Cass carried her coffee upstairs and left me at the kitchen table. Bertie wandered in from the garden where he’d spent the past hour kicking a football against a wall. He hadn’t spoken a word to me since I told him the truth, and the distance between us, however temporary, hurt my heart.
Bertie put his football in the basket beside the door and crossed the room. I thought he’d walk right past, but he stopped in front of me, climbed onto my lap and began sobbing into my hair.
‘Oh my darling boy,’ I said, unable to stop my own tears from breaking free. ‘Everything will be all right.’
‘I… I… hate Dad,’ sniffed Bertie, gulping down the sadness that rocked his body. ‘I hate him.’
‘Don’t say that,’ I said. ‘Dad’s got himself into a horrible muddle, but I’m sure wherever he is, he’s trying to fix things.’
‘But he ran away.’
I had no idea how to respond, for Bertie was right. Rob had run away. He’d run away and left his wife and child to pick up the pieces, the shattered remains of the life we’d once lived. ‘He’ll come back,’ I said, not knowing if it was true, or even if I wanted it to be.
Bertie’s gulping sobs had reduced to snotty sniffles. He even managed a giggle after I protested against him wiping his nose on my shirt.
‘Jake doesn’t want me sharing a room with him,’ said Bertie, his voice tiny and broken.
‘He’ll come around. He probably just needs his own space back for a while.’
‘Does that mean I’ll have to sleep on the sofa with you?’
‘Well, Aunt Liv has found a place we could stay for a little while.’
‘We’re moving?’
‘More like a holiday,’ I said, not even knowing if this was true or not.
‘If we go on holiday, when we come back, Jake might like me again.’
‘I’m sure he will. Aunt Liv’s going to take us to see the holiday place today so we can decide if we like it. But Bertie?’
‘Hmm?’
‘If you don’t like it, we won’t go there. OK?’
‘OK.’
I pulled Bertie closer to me, breathing him in, knowing whatever happened, I’d do everything in my power to give him the life he deserved. Except for joining a cult. That was a firm no, and if I got even a whiff of that while visiting this place, I’d be out of there before they had time to light a stick of incense.