15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
‘ W here is everybody?’ I asked Harry. Beside me Bertie spooned cornflakes into a bowl whilst I waited for my toast to pop up.
‘Andrea and Christine have already left for their walk, Maggie and Stephan rarely surface before nine, Pat never eats breakfast, and Seb always sorts himself out in his cabin. You still all right for your tour of the farm today?’
‘Yes, but I can stay here and help with some chores if that’s more useful?’ I crossed my fingers behind my back.
‘No, you go and get a feel for the place. I prefer people to offer help once they’ve seen the full range of what needs doing.’
‘OK.’
Bertie gobbled his breakfast up faster than I’d ever seen. He fiddled with his spoon, twirling it round in his fingers and tapping it against the table.
‘Bertie, is it possible you’re a little bit excited about helping with the animals today?’
Bertie’s mouth spread into a grin. ‘Just a bit.’
‘You’ll have to work hard. Harry is expecting an assistant, not a hanger-on.’
‘I’ll be the best assistant she’s ever had,’ said Bertie. Given the enthusiasm on display, I didn’t doubt it.
‘Knock knock.’
An involuntary flush crept up my neck as Seb appeared in the doorway. I tried to get my emotions under control. There was nothing about Seb that usually attracted me. The beanie he wore had several holes, his jacket was covered in stains, and that beard of his would be horribly scratchy to kiss. Stop it , I told myself. You’re a married woman. Sort of .
‘Sorry I’m early, but the weather’s supposed to turn around midday, so I thought it might help to get an early start.’
‘Sure, no problem. I’ll just go up and grab Bertie’s coat, then I’ll be ready.’
‘Great.’
When I came back downstairs with Bertie’s coat, I found Seb and Harry, their heads nestled together, frowning at something on Harry’s phone. Something about the way they stood, close together, at ease, made me wonder if there was more to their relationship than simply friendship. I pushed down the feelings of jealousy that threatened to erupt in my stomach. Who was I to care? It wasn’t like I was a free agent myself.
‘Everything OK?’
‘Yeah,’ said Harry, looking up from her phone. ‘Just another in a never-ending list of things to sort out at the farm.’
Her tone was nothing like the easy-going woman who’d chatted over dinner. She sounded world weary, worn-down, and far older than her smooth skin suggested.
‘Come on,’ said Seb. ‘Let’s get going and beat the weather.’
‘Are you sure it’s all right to leave Bertie here?’
‘Of course,’ said Harry. ‘I’ve got plenty to keep him busy.’
Seb and I stepped outside and were hit by the kind of cold that burrowed through your thick socks and laughed in the face of all your layers. I shivered and hugged my arms around myself.
‘I thought we’d start at the furthest point and work our way back. That OK?’
‘Yes. Hang on, we’re not going on that, are we?’ I pointed to an ancient muddy quad bike sitting in the driveway.
‘Up to you. Either we go on that or walk miles in the cold. The choice is yours.’
‘I’ve never been on a quad bike before.’
‘It’s easy,’ said Seb, walking over and climbing on. ‘Just sit behind me. You can either hold on to the rail at the back, or put your arms around me. Whatever’s most comfortable.’
Comfortable? There was nothing comfortable about the idea of clinging to Seb’s waist. I shivered at the thought, convincing myself it was from the cold.
Seb handed me a helmet and helped me squeeze it on my head. ‘I’ve not needed a helmet yet,’ he said, ‘but it’s better safe than sorry. Besides, the last thing the farm needs is a personal injury claim.’
I felt stung that he had me down as someone who’d sue over a broken arm. ‘Where are we going first?’
‘The lake. In some ways, that’s the most exciting part of the farm. It’s where all the potential lies.’
‘Sounds intriguing,’ I said, although Seb didn’t hear me over the noise of the engine.
Seb drove around to the back of the house, then picked up speed as we bumped and skidded across a muddy field. The view stretched out in front of me, woodland leading down to a ribbon of water, glittering beneath the weak winter sun.
As we reached the woods, Seb slowed, picking his way between thick tree trunks and their gnarled roots that stuck up out of the muddy earth. The slower speed gave me more of a chance to admire the surrounding scenery. Even with their skeletal branches, the native trees maintained a barren beauty. New life was emerging from the forest floor, a carpet of snowdrops signalling spring was just around the corner.
The quad caught on a hidden root, jerking me back in my seat and sending pain searing through my shoulder. Seb pulled the quad to a stop, the engine turning over lazily as he looked back at me.
‘Are you OK? That was quite a jolt.’
‘I’m fine, it’s just my shoulder that hurts.’
‘You’d best hold on to me rather than the rail,’ said Seb. ‘You don’t want to be twisting that shoulder any more than you have to.’
I wanted to protest, but the pain in my joint outweighed any sense of pride. As I wrapped my arms around Seb’s waist, I was grateful for the helmet that hid my blush. What I needed was for him to be an arsehole, or have some disgusting habit that would put me off and stop my teenage-like thoughts. Perhaps he was a secret nose-picker? Or washed only once a week? Maybe he chewed his own toenails whilst watching TV, or didn’t wash his hands after going to the toilet?
We continued deeper into the woods, and even through all the layers, I felt the tension in Seb’s shoulders as he navigated past the obstacles thrown up by the forest floor. The trees thinned out and Seb’s shoulders relaxed. The scrubby, snowdrop-filled ground changed to a green sea of moss, then to grass, and finally, there it was, the lake.
Seb turned off the quad’s engine and climbed off. He pulled off his own helmet, then helped me with mine.
‘Oh my God.’ The view took my breath away. Of all the images I’d had in my head, none came close to the view in front of me. When I’d pictured a lake, I’d thought of a vast stretch of water, surrounded by a band of gravelly sand. Instead, the water in front of me was guarded on three sides by tree-covered granite cliffs. Plants had taken up root between the trees, speckling the grey rock and brown bare-branched trees with flashes of green.
Seb began walking to the nearest shore. Here, a small wooden jetty stuck out into the water. A cheerfully painted red and green rowing boat bobbed beside it, and three upturned canoes lay on a gravel beach.
I walked out onto the jetty, pulled onwards by an invisible force. Something about the water made me catch my breath. As thin clouds tripped across the sun, the colour of the water changed. One minute it was a rich emerald, the next olive before transforming into a silky teal.
For the first time in weeks, possibly months, maybe even years, a deep sense of peace flooded through me. The change was both physical and emotional. As my muscles loosened, my mind cleared, the stresses and strains of my situation floated away and for a moment, all I felt was happiness.
‘Pretty special, isn’t it?’
Seb’s voice broke the spell and as quickly as they’d come, all my fears for the future came rushing back. Tears filled my eyes, and I coughed to clear the lump in my throat. Ever since Rob left, I’d been fighting the sense of hopelessness which threatened to engulf me. Somehow, this exquisite example of nature at its finest had cut through my resolve and all my pretence. I choked back a sob.
‘Hey, are you all right?’
Keeping my face turned to the water, I listened as Seb’s footsteps grew closer. Unable to speak, I waved a hand in the air to show I was fine. Another sob escaped as a hiccup.
‘Do you want to talk? Or would you rather have some time alone here?’
I brushed my tears away with my sleeve, plastered a smile on my face, and turned to face Seb. ‘I’m fine, honest. It’s just the cold making my eyes sting. Tell me about this place.’
Seb took my lie as it was meant. I don’t want to talk or be alone . He kept his eyes fixed on the far side of the lake, allowing me enough privacy to wipe my eyes with a tissue and silently blow my nose. ‘We call it the lake, but really it’s a deserted quarry. When it fell into disrepair, Harry’s grandparents had the foresight to buy the land. It’s our secret weapon, our key to success. See through there?’ Seb turned his back on the lake and pointed diagonally from where we stood. ‘That’s Pat’s cabin. Mine’s a little behind his.’
‘What an incredible place to live.’
‘I know, we’re very lucky.’
‘Have you lived here long?’
‘A while.’
Right, so that was how he was going to play it. Thank God I hadn’t spilled my problems out to him when he seemed determined to share as little as possible with me. So far, Seb had shown no sign that he had any memory of me, and I was happy for it to stay that way. He seemed most comfortable talking about Lowen Farm, so I stuck to safe ground.
‘So, what are these mysterious plans you have for the place, then?’
Seb laughed. ‘There’s nothing mysterious about them, not really. You’ve seen the state of the house? How much work it needs?’
I nodded as I pictured our mouldy bedroom ceiling.
‘The lake could be our way of funding the repairs needed and continuing the legacy of Harry’s grandparents. Our plan is to use the lake for water sports, school groups, youth groups, executive team building trips. You name it, we’ve thought about it.’
‘Where would everyone stay?’
‘Ah, this is where we get into dreams rather than reality. The last thing Harry wants to do is cause any destruction to the natural landscape. She’d like to build low-impact tree houses for guests to stay in.’
‘That doesn’t sound too expensive.’
‘You’d be surprised. And on top of the work needed to be spent on the house? Well, let’s just say any bright ideas you have would be welcome.’
‘I’ll have a think.’
‘Come on,’ said Seb, ‘if you can tear yourself away from the lake, I’ll continue the tour.’
‘Sure.’
‘Actually, before we go, there’s one more thing I should tell you about the lake.’
‘What?’
‘It’s safe for swimming, should you want to?’
I laughed and looked at him like he was crazy. ‘Swimming? In March? No thanks.’
‘It’s something to bear in mind. Harry’s got a wetsuit you could borrow to get you started. It… um… it works wonders if you’re going through stuff. Cold water is better than anything you get from the doctors if you’re feeling a little… well… you know.’
‘Thanks, I think. Now, what are you going to show me next?’