29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans and took a deep breath. Warm orange light spilled from the pub windows and the noise of lively chatter met me through the door. It was silly to be so nervous; I was meeting the man I’d shared my life with for eight years, and yet I had no idea what version of him would greet me.
But I had to do this. How could I possibly move on without ending the previous chapter?
It was easy to find Rob in the busy bar. All I had to do was follow the direction of the hungry female eyes, which kept straying towards him. I couldn’t blame them, you couldn’t fault Rob in appearance, but if they knew what he was like, they might not be so keen.
‘Olivia,’ said Rob, standing to greet me and kissing me on both cheeks.
‘Rob. Are you OK for a drink?’
Rob downed the third of a pint he had left and handed me his glass. ‘A pint of lager, please.’
I kicked myself for my generosity. Rob may have gone bankrupt, but I doubted he was working two jobs to make ends meet. A far more likely scenario was that he was withdrawing regular amounts from the bank of Mum and Dad. I should have made him pay for his own beer.
After disentangling myself from a conversation with the over-friendly barman, I carried our drinks back to the table. I’d opted for lemonade, the safest bet if I wanted to keep my wits about me.
‘You look well,’ said Rob, his eyes scanning me, a frown crossing his face as he took in my natural hair.
‘So do you,’ I said. He did look good. His flawless skin had turned the colour of demerara sugar, the same colour it always went after a holiday. His hair shone, flopping down from his side parting, and his crisp white shirt and chinos looked freshly pressed. The last thing he looked like was a man who had lost everything.
‘So,’ I said, ‘where have you been for the past three months?’
Rob dismissed my question with a wave of his hand.
‘I’m serious, Rob. As your wife and mother to your child, the least you owe me is an explanation.’
Rob sighed and took a long draught of his beer. ‘I had to get away, you know, after all that happened. I was holed up at Dad’s place in France for a couple of months, but God, it’s boring there on your own.’
‘That must have been hard for you.’
‘It was,’ he said, missing the irony of my words. ‘Look, Olivia, I’m so sorry for doing a bunk and leaving you to deal with everything. I suppose I had some sort of breakdown.’
I refrained from saying that he was lucky to have had that option, and a house in southern France to do it in at that. What would have happened to Bertie if I’d lost my shit?
‘I let everyone down, you, my employees, Mum and Dad. It was hard coming back, facing up to what I’d done.’
‘And what was it you did, exactly? I knew nothing about our financial troubles until the bailiffs turned up at our door.’
‘Well, you wouldn’t have, would you? You never took any interest in the business.’
I choked on my lemonade. Never took any interest? More like he wouldn’t ever let me. ‘You were about to tell me what went wrong.’
‘I was screwed over. I was a mug. The guys who persuaded me to go into the development were really convincing.’
‘And you didn’t do due diligence before going into partnership with them?’
‘Due diligence?’ Rob laughed. ‘Where did you learn that, an episode of Judge Judy ?’ He laughed again, taking another glug of his pint.
Before I had a chance to get angry, a realisation dawned on me. For all Rob’s talk, for all the showing off and expensive luxuries, sitting in front of me was a man who was crap at his job. A man who lacked the skills to run a successful company. He wasn’t a bad man, just a man whose competence didn’t match up to his ego. I almost felt sorry for him and wondered, if, given free rein over his life, what he actually would have wanted to do? I doubted it would be property development. He seemed to enjoy the idea of his job more than the reality.
‘Rob, we need to talk about us.’
‘Yes, Mum told me about your mad moment. You’re not serious about getting a divorce, are you? I thought if I left you to calm down, you’d come to your senses.’
‘I’m sorry, Rob, but my mind’s made up.’
‘But things were fine before. All this business with the money is just a blip. I’ll have a new business up and running in no time.’
‘Rob, things might have been fine for you, but they weren’t for me.’
‘But I gave you everything.’
‘Did you? What about all the other women?’
‘What other women?’ Rob’s tone was outraged, but he fiddled with his pint glass and couldn’t look me in the eye.
‘Rob,’ I said, placing a hand on his. ‘There’s no need to lie anymore. I’m not upset, I’m not angry, I just want the truth.’
‘You make it sound like I slept with an endless stream of women. There was only ever the odd one-night stand at a work do. Nothing serious.’
‘Maybe not to you, but that’s not the kind of marriage I want. You did a very honourable thing when you married me, but did you ever truly love me?’
‘Did you ever truly love me ?’ His tone was accusatory. I’d demanded honesty from him. Now it was my turn.
‘I loved the idea of being married to you.’
‘Thanks, that’s got to be the world’s worst compliment.’
‘Sorry, but it’s important we’re honest. You want a certain kind of wife, and I’m not it. I’ve done my best over the years to pretend to be what you want, but it just isn’t me. I think we’d both be better off starting again.’
‘Mum will be furious.’
‘If it’s money she’s worried about, she needn’t be. Given the state of our finances, I don’t intend to ask for anything, and I certainly wouldn’t dream of going after your parents’ money. Anyway, it doesn’t matter what Marion thinks. What do you think? Do you really want to stay married to me?’
Rob stared at his pint, then slowly shook his head.
‘That’s what I thought. But I’d like us to stay friends. We’re going to be tied to each other for life, given we share a son. The least we can do is try to get on for his sake.’
‘I’d like to see him.’
‘Of course. We’ll have to work out some sort of custody arrangement. Given we’re now living a little way from each other, it would work best if you had him on weekends. How often is something we can decide on later. How does that sound?’
‘Very reasonable. Olivia, I know I’ve not always been the best dad to Bertie, but I’d like to do better. I’ve missed him these past few months. It’s surprised me just how much.’
I smiled at Rob, thinking how much nicer he seemed now I didn’t have to be married to him. I could imagine a future where we stayed friends. Perhaps we could meet up for Bertie’s birthday celebrations, or for Christmas. We didn’t work as a couple, but there was nothing to say we couldn’t co-parent successfully.
With nothing left to say for the time being, we said our goodbyes, agreeing to each instruct a solicitor and arrange a time for Rob to visit Bertie. I left the pub with a spring in my step. There was someone I needed to see. Now I was as good as a free agent, there was nothing to stand in my and Seb’s way.