13. Aurora #2
His hand is still on the girl’s waist, his face buried in her hair, his mouth close to her ear.
But his eyes… His eyes are locked on me.
I rip my gaze away, my stomach turning sour.
Fine.
Two can play this game.
I lean into Holden—and yeah, I know, it’s a little shitty when I’m not actually into him.
But I’m tired of feeling cast aside. I’m tired of thinking about men who don’t want me, tired of the way Cole, of all people, looks at me with that cold, dismissive stare that gets under my skin every single time.
It’s nice to feel wanted, even if it’s only for a little while.
Holden sits up a little straighter, then wraps an arm around me and pulls me in closer.
See? I can do this. I can sit here with some guy’s arm around me and not think about Cole Ellis. I can let someone want me, even if I don’t feel much of anything back. I can prove—to him, to myself—that I don’t give a shit who he has sitting on his lap.
I keep my eyes fixed on the screen, refusing to look over there again.
Holden shifts beside me, his thumb brushing over my shoulder. “Want a drink?” he asks, leaning down so I can hear him over the movie.
“No, I’m good,” I say, shaking my head.
He nods and tightens his arm around me, and I have to squeeze my eyes shut for a second. I’ve got a decent guy sitting right here, a guy who’s clearly into me, and somehow my brain still insists on circling back to the one person who should not be taking up any space in my head.
I try to keep my focus on the screen, but then I make the mistake of glancing over again, and his eyes are already on me.
Was that just timing, or has he been watching me this whole time?
My stomach flips as he holds my gaze and lowers his mouth to the girl’s neck, dragging his tongue slowly over her skin. She shivers in his lap, twisting slightly to curl her fingers into his hair, and he pulls her closer against him without taking his eyes off me.
He wants me to see this. He wants to make it painfully, unmistakably clear that whatever happened between us meant nothing. That it was a one-time lapse in judgment, a means to an end so he could get me out of his system and move on.
And yet… he still doesn’t look away. Not when his mouth moves to her ear, making her squirm and let out a breathy little laugh. Not when his hand slides higher up her thigh. Not when his fingers disappear beneath the hem of her skirt.
His eyes stay locked on mine the entire time.
My chest goes tight. The movie turns to a blur, the noise around me fading into white static.
I push to my feet, and Holden looks up at me, concern flickering across his face. “You okay?”
I force a smile onto my face. “Yeah. I, uh… I actually do want that drink.” He starts to get up, but I shake my head. “No, sit. I’ll get it.”
Before he can say anything else, I step off the jacket and make my way through the maze of blankets and sprawled-out legs.
My phone is already in my hand by the time I clear the crowd. I angle the screen toward myself, using it as a mirror as I slip behind one of the snack tents. My lip gloss is a little smudged from the hot dog, so I rub my lips together.
I take a breath and attempt to slow my pulse.
Just breathe.
I will not let Cole see me flinch.
But then a shadow cuts across my phone screen, and I know who it is before I even turn around. My shoulders lock, my throat tightening as I pocket my phone and force myself to face him.
“What do you want?”
Cole shoves his hands deeper into his pockets, his expression unreadable except for the slight tick in his jaw.
He jerks his chin toward the lawn. “Freshman’s gonna cry when he realizes you ditched him,” he says, his eyes dragging over me in a way that sends heat creeping up my neck.
“Didn’t think you were that desperate for attention, Prescott. A rookie? Really?”
I fold my arms across my chest and roll my eyes. “It’s none of your business who I fuck,” I tell him. “Go back to your girl and leave me alone.”
“She’s not my girl.”
I let out a sharp laugh. “Does she know that? She had her tongue halfway down your throat.”
His jaw ticks.
I shake my head, letting out a scoff. “God, you really do this to every girl, don’t you?”
His eyes narrow. “Do what?”
“Play the untouchable heartbreaker,” I snap. “You mess with their heads, and then act like it meant absolutely nothing to you.”
He arches a brow and steps closer. “Why are you pissed right now? We agreed it was just a one-time thing.”
I lift my chin. “I know what we agreed to.”
He doesn’t back off. If anything, his voice turns colder, sharper. “Then stop acting like I owe you something. It was just a fuck, Prescott. We’re not dating.”
His words twist low in my stomach, and I hate that he still gets to me. I let out a short, bitter laugh. “Trust me. I figured that out when you were all over her in front of everyone.”
He lets out a scoff. “Jesus Christ,” he mutters, tilting his head as he looks at me. “You’re jealous?”
“I’m not jealous,” I snap, my stomach turning at the thought. “I’m just embarrassed for her.”
Something tightens in his jaw, his teeth grinding before he speaks. “You didn’t seem embarrassed when you were moaning my name.”
Heat rushes straight to my face, but I keep my eyes on his, refusing to let him affect me. “That was a lapse in judgment. I’m sure your teammate will fuck me better than you did.”
His gaze drops, drifting down my body before lifting back to mine, his eyes somehow darker. “Yeah?” he murmurs. “Because while you were curled up with the rookie, you kept looking at me.”
“Don’t kid yourself,” I bite out. “I forgot you existed the second I walked out of your room.”
“Bullshit.” He spits the word out and it feels like a hand around my throat.
“You’ve been staring at me since you walked in,” he says, stepping closer.
“The freshman puts his arm around you, and you go rigid. I look at you and suddenly you can’t sit still.
Don’t lie to me, Prescott. You’re terrible at it. ”
God, I hate him.
I hate that he’s right.
I hate that he knows he’s right.
“You’re not that interesting,” I say, forcing the words past the tightness in my throat. “If I looked at you, it’s because you were making a spectacle of yourself.”
His brow lifts. “You think I was trying to get your attention?”
“I think,” I say, holding his stare without blinking, “you didn’t give a shit about that girl. I think you dragged her onto your lap to get to me. I think you put on a show for me.”
“You’re delusional.” His voice drops into that low, dangerous register I recognize from every argument we’ve ever had. “We fucked once. I’ve moved on, Viper.”
“Good for you,” I say with a scoff. “Want a medal?” I roll my eyes. “Leave me the hell alone, Reaper. Go haunt someone else’s night.”
He holds my gaze for what feels like forever, but he doesn’t step back. Instead, he moves in even closer, leaning down until his breath skims my cheek and a sharp breath catches in my throat.
“Want to know what I actually want?”
My lips part, a shaky breath leaving my lips as our eyes lock.
“I want you to stop showing up wherever the fuck I am. I want you out of my sight.” His gaze drops to my mouth, then lifts again, pinning me in place. “I want you to go home alone tonight instead of with my teammate.”
My pulse stumbles so hard it makes me angry. God, I hate what that does to me. Hate the way one look from him can drag me right back to how his hands felt on me.
I snap myself out of it and lift my chin, refusing to let him see any of it.
“You don’t get a say in where I go or who I go home with,” I tell him, forcing the words out past the mess in my chest. “Just because we fucked doesn’t mean you have any control over my body.”
His jaw ticks, and then he leans into me again until the last inch between us is gone, and my spine presses against the wall behind me. His chest hovers so close I can feel the heat coming off him.
His gaze drops to my mouth, moving slowly over my lips, and I lick them without thinking, my throat suddenly dry.
Something shifts in his expression, tightening for half a second, and then, just as suddenly as he crowded into my space, he steps back.
“Do whatever you want,” he says. “You’re not my problem.”
He tears his gaze away from me, shoves his hands into his pockets, and turns, stalking toward the girl he left behind as if he can’t get away from me fast enough.
I stay exactly where I am, breathing hard.
What is it about Cole that scrambles every wire in my brain and turns me into whatever the hell that was? I’ve never been like this. Never stumbled over my words, never let my body get ahead of my head, never felt so completely thrown off by someone I can’t stand.
I drag in a breath, smooth my hair back, and then reach into my bag for my phone. I fire off a quick text to the girls and turn the opposite way, heading home, leaving the movie, the noise, and Cole behind me.