14. Cole
COLE
I’m exhausted, pissed off, and skating on pure spite when I line Holden Miller up and drive my shoulder straight into his ribs.
It’s not my hardest check—if I really tried, he’d be picking his teeth up off the ice—but it’s solid enough that his stick goes flying and he eats shit, sliding all the way to the blue line on his ass.
Holden groans, rolling to his knees. “What the fuck, man?” he snaps, ripping his helmet off as he gets to his feet.
I chew my gum harder, rolling it between my teeth, and turn, skating away.
Coach Hayes’s whistle shrieks across the rink. “Ellis! You wanna explain why I just watched you bodycheck your teammate?”
I lift my hand, hoping he drops it. Was it necessary? No. Do I want to do it again? Yeah.
Austin coasts up beside me, his breath puffing in the cold arena air. “Okay, what the hell was that?”
“He pissed me off,” I mutter.
Austin’s brows pull together, waiting for more, but when I don’t say anything, he huffs out a laugh, shakes his head, and skates off when Coach blows the whistle to start drills.
My legs feel heavy, weak. My head is pounding, which is to be expected when I’ve been awake since—hell, I don’t even remember when I closed my eyes.
If I even did. I barely listened through my classes, just sat there staring straight through every lecture while my thoughts kept circling right back to her.
Holden keeps a good three-stick distance from me during the next lap. Smart kid.
It shouldn’t bother me this much. Him. Her. Any of it. But the image keeps replaying in the back of my skull. Holden’s arm slung over Aurora’s shoulders. The way she didn’t shrug him off. The way she leaned into him and pretended not to notice me, then kept sneaking glances anyway.
But what really gets under my skin isn’t him touching her.
It’s that every single time she looked over…
I was already looking at her, unable to take my eyes off her.
When Coach finally blows the whistle a while later, signaling the end of practice, I blow out a breath and rip my helmet off as the guys skate off the ice. The boards rattle when Logan hops over them, Austin right behind him, trying to shove him mid-jump. I snort under my breath. Children.
I coast toward the bench, step off onto the rubber, and head for the locker room, Austin’s playlist already playing when I step inside.
I head straight for my stall, slot my helmet into the cubby, and shove another piece of mint gum between my teeth, dropping onto the bench to tug off my skates.
My shoulders crack when I roll them back, lifting my arms to tug off the jersey sticking to my skin. I hate wearing compression shirts under my jerseys. I get hot with anything underneath my jersey, and I feel like I skate faster without it. I like the feeling of wind hitting my skin.
I glance up as Nathan and a couple of other rookies head for the showers.
I lean back for a second, blow out a slow breath, then start unstrapping my pads.
I like waiting until most of the guys clear out before I hit the water.
Means I get more time to let the hot spray scald my muscles and quiet my head.
The door opens again, and Holden comes in, his eyes flying to mine for a couple of seconds. Rookie probably wants to know why I put him on his ass today. I grind the gum harder, feel my jaw click, and focus on tugging off my shin pads.
“Saw you last night with Aurora,” Miles pipes up, nudging Holden with his elbow. “You hit that?”
Holden huffs out a laugh but shakes his head, dropping onto the bench. “Nah. She left.”
I tell myself I don’t care what Aurora does. My hands slowing on the straps say otherwise.
Miles lets out a laugh. “No shit?”
“Yeah,” Holden says, and the sigh he lets out is pure disappointment. “Thought we were hitting it off. Dunno know what happened.”
Miles claps him on the back. “You dodged a bullet, man. She’s psycho.”
My jaw locks so hard the muscle twinges. Can’t get expelled, I remind myself. Can’t fight outside of hockey games.
Logan, sitting on the bench across from me, lets out a low laugh as he unlaces his skates. “Told you, man,” he says, nodding at Holden. “She isn’t interested in rookie dick.” He lifts his brows, shaking his head. “Have you seen her? She needs someone who knows what he’s doing.”
He whistles and something in my spine snaps tighter. Never wanted to punch Logan before. Kind of want to now.
Holden’s eyes narrow. “I do know what I’m doing.”
Austin barks a laugh, slinging an arm around Holden’s shoulders. “Aw, my little virgin teammate. You’re adorable.”
“I’m not a virgin,” he says, shoving him off. “I get more pussy than you do, since you’ve gone soft and fallen in love.”
“Technically,” Austin adds, tapping his own chest, “I get more sex than you now. So I win. Quality and quantity, baby,” he says, shooting the rookie a wink.
Ryan snorts from where he’s peeling tape off his stick. “Christ,” he mutters, shaking his head at all of them. “Do you guys ever talk about anything but sex?”
“It’s important to be educated,” Austin replies, turning his attention back to Holden. “Now, Miller… do you know where a woman’s clit is?”
Miles wheezes, and Holden flips Austin off, but the kid’s blushing to his hairline, red climbing all the way up his neck.
“You guys coming to the Halloween party tomorrow?” Logan asks, yanking his jersey over his head.
“You better,” Austin chimes in as he drops onto the bench to peel off his pads. “I already decorated the whole house. It looks cool as hell.”
Right on cue, Nathan walks back in from the showers with a towel slung around his waist. “It’s annoying,” he says, shooting him a glare. “Why did you decorate the bathroom? I can’t even take a shower without hitting my head on paper bats.”
Austin shrugs, wagging his brows. “Sets the mood.”
Nathan scrunches his face. “You think people are going to hook up in there?”
“Hell yes,” Austin answers with a chuckle.
“Gross,” he mutters, bending to grab his clothes.
Austin leans back on the bench, spreading his arms. “What’s everyone wearing? Mine and Maisie’s costumes are gonna be the best ones there.”
“You’re wearing a couples costume?” Nathan asks.
Logan scoffs, raking a hand through his hair. “This is Austin we’re talking about. Of course he is.”
Austin grins, looking far too pleased with himself. “And what about you?” he asks, jerking his chin toward Nathan. “What’re you coming as?”
Nathan lets out a long sigh and shoves a hand through his damp hair. “Some stupid matching costume with Ryan.”
“Hey, I wanted to do a matching costume with your sister,” he replies, lifting his shoulder in a shrug, “but she’s matching with Aurora. You were my backup plan.”
“Thanks,” Nathan replies dryly.
Ryan just laughs. “Don’t worry. We’re gonna look cool.”
“Somehow,” Nathan mutters, “I refuse to believe that.”
I yank at my elbow pad and it sticks to my skin, pulling a hiss out of me. My shoulders burn, my ribs ache, but I welcome it. I want the pain. I want something sharp enough to cut through the shit that’s been circling my head since last night.
I strip out of the rest of my gear before heading into the showers.
As soon as I step under the spray and crank the water on, my eyes fall shut as I breathe out a long, heavy exhale. All I can picture when I close my eyes is the way her body froze the second she saw me, no doubt remembering what had happened between us the week before.
I scrub a hand over my face. I didn’t even register that Stacy—I think that’s her name—had dragged me down into that lawn chair and plopped onto my lap. I barely know the girl. I think I hooked up with her once at a party before the summer, but she clearly got a little clingy.
Usually, I would just tell her I’m not interested and leave, but when I saw the way Aurora stiffened at the sight, I used that to my advantage.
I let Stacy stay on my lap, lifted my hand to her waist, wanting Aurora to see it, wanting her to think I’d already forgotten about her.
I wanted her to believe I wasn’t giving her a second thought.
Even though she was the only thing in my head.
And when Aurora stood up, I followed without thinking.
Not a single brain cell firing a warning.
I told her to go home alone, and I still don’t know why.
I didn’t plan to say it. Didn’t mean to sound like I cared where she went or who she went with.
I just hated seeing her under someone else’s arm.
Hated the idea of her going home with some clueless freshman who has no idea what to do with a girl like her.
I didn’t think she’d listen. I thought she’d roll her eyes and go right back to Holden out of spite.
Instead… she left.
I scanned the crowd for her, waiting for her to come back. Kept sneaking glances toward Holden all night. But she never came back. Every time I looked, all I saw was the rookie sitting there alone, eating the rest of her food.
God, this is such bullshit.
Fucking her was supposed to get her out of my system, burn her out of my blood so I could finally move on. I thought if I had her once, I’d finally be bored. I’d get rid of this… tension that’s been building between us since the club and finally be done with her.
But it did the opposite.
Now she’s everywhere.
No matter what I do, my brain keeps serving me new angles, new flashes. Instead of the lacy bra and panties she wore when she was grinding on my lap, it’s now her on her knees, with her mouth full of my cock, her bare ass perched perfectly for me, her sharp gasp when I slid into her.
This shit is a problem.
I shouldn’t be thinking about fucking her again. I should be done. I should have moved on by now, let her be a mistake I made once and never repeat.
Because no matter how sweet she tasted, no matter how good that tight little body felt, she’s still Aurora Prescott.
Still a venomous snake.
I kill the shower, hoping it has eased the tension in my shoulders, but it does jack shit. I grab my towel, dry my hair off, then wrap it around my waist and step back into the locker room.
The second I sit, my whole body sags forward like it finally remembers I got maybe an hour of sleep. If that. I shake it off, drag on a pair of boxers, then reach for my jeans, but before I can get them over my hips, my phone starts buzzing inside my stall.
I lean back to grab it, yanking my jeans up one-handed as I check the screen.
The second I see the name, my stomach drops.
“Shit,” I mutter under my breath.
I quickly button my jeans and push past Logan so fast my shoulder clips his on the way by.
“What the hell—?”
I don’t answer. I just keep moving, my eyes fixed on the screen, already hitting accept as I step out the door and press the phone to my ear. She never calls. Not unless something’s wrong.
“Cole?” Her voice comes through small and thin, on the edge of tears.
Every muscle in me locks. I brace my forearm against the wall and lower my head. “What’s wrong, Soph?”
She sniffles once, and the sound lands hard, straight in my ribs. “I—I’m sorry. I know you’re probably busy, I just… I didn’t know what else to do.”
My grip tightens around the phone until my knuckles burn. “Tell me what happened.”
She lets out a shaky breath. “It’s Dad,” she says quietly. “He… um. He took the money again.”
My jaw locks so hard it aches.
“I went to get the envelope so I could go to the store and it was just… gone.” Her voice is shaking and it kills me. “I checked everywhere, Cole. I’m sorry. I know you worked for that and—”
“Soph, stop.” I drag my hand down my face. “Don’t apologize for his shit. You hear me?”
She goes quiet. All I can hear is her shaky breathing and the TV in the background.
“I can go to Maddie’s tonight,” she says after a second. “Her mom said it’s okay if I stay a few days.”
“Yeah,” I say immediately, rubbing my chin. “Do that. Pack a bag and get the hell out before he gets home.”
“I’m sorry. I know you’ve got school and hockey. I didn’t want to bother you but—”
“You never bother me.” My throat burns saying it, because I hate that she even thinks she could. “You can always count on me, Soph.”
She lets out another shaky breath, which makes me want to punch something.
“I’ll send more money tomorrow,” I tell her. I’ll figure out a way to pay rent somehow. “Just make sure you eat tonight. Order something if Maddie’s mom doesn’t cook. Use my card. Don’t start skipping meals to save money. That’s not your job.”
The first time I found out she was doing that, I lost my shit. Here I was, worried about classes, while my little sister was starving so she could make the money last longer.
A tiny exhale leaves her. “Okay.”
I exhale too, leaning back against the wall and dragging a hand through my hair. “Text me when you get there. I want to know you’re safe.”
“I will. Thanks, Cole.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for.” I swallow against the tightness in my throat. “Love you, Soph.”
She’s silent for a few seconds before she whispers, “Love you too,” and hangs up.
I lower the phone slowly, my grip tightening.
This isn’t new.
None of it is.
Dad gambles. Drinks. Gets pissed when he loses, then comes home wanting to take his anger out on someone else.
Growing up, any time I had cash, he found it.
He justified it with some bullshit about how I “owed him”.
I learned to hide it. Eventually taught Sophie where to stash hers.
But the bastard always finds a way. He takes whatever he can get his hands on, and then disappears until he’s burned through every cent.
My jaw clicks again as my teeth grind. I try to unclench and calm down, knowing she’s safe at her friend’s house… but I can’t.
I hope he’s calm by the time she goes back.
I hope he doesn’t—
Who am I kidding? Hope doesn’t do shit. Not with him.
I push off the wall, running a hand through my dripping hair, heading back into the locker room to finish getting dressed, anger and guilt climbing up my throat.
Because while Sophie’s dealing with this… I’ve been wasting brain space on Aurora.
This is the reminder I needed. I shouldn’t be thinking about her. Should feel sick to my stomach for wanting her after what she did back in high school.
I shove the door open and step back into the room. The guys all look up, but I keep my head down and keep moving, hoping none of them ask what that was.
I need to forget her once and for all.
I need to go out tonight, find someone—anyone—who isn’t her, and drag them back to my place. I need to fuck until my head goes quiet and whatever the hell Aurora lit up inside me finally burns out.