Finn
We had created a bunker in the old shop. Tarps from my plane and the emergency blanket and sleeping bag gave us a nice, clean cocoon. Outside, the storm raged on, the rain creating a symphony of sounds on the metal roof.
I found Merry’s small pink lantern and brought that in as well. In our little shelter, we sat side by side on the blanket, munching on granola bars and Goldfish.
“I can’t believe you had bags of Goldfish in your survival gear.”
I threw a handful into my mouth and chewed. “I’ve got a kid,” I said once I’d swallowed. “I have goldfish everywhere.”
Her hair was all messy, and all she had on was a thin cotton tank top that did nothing to hide her peaked nipples. Damn, I wanted nothing more than to push her back and nip at them.
“Now,” she hedged, her tone suddenly serious and her face flat, “I will skin you alive if you even think about telling anyone about what happened today.”
“No need to get defensive, She-Ra,” I teased, hiding the punch to the solar plexus her words had landed.
This had been unexpected, sure, but it wasn’t meaningless.
At least not for me. “You don’t have to push me away, you know,” I said, softly and a little more resolutely.
“I don’t want you to regret this. I won’t. ”
“You say that now. But you don’t mean it.”
“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean. If you have something to say, then say it.”
By her posture and the tone of her voice, it was clear her walls were coming back up. I’d fought so hard to bring them down, though, and I wasn’t giving her an out now. I wouldn’t back down so easily.
She shifted and crossed her arms. “This is nice.” She waved a hand between the two of us in our little fort.
“Nice?” I snapped, sitting straighter. “Nice? Wow, you really know how to compliment a guy.”
“I mean hanging out,” she said, her face softening a fraction. “Being silly, eating granola bars in the woods half-naked. Being stranded out here is not ideal, but this is nice.”
“And the naked fun?” I asked, raising one eyebrow.
She looked away, and a flush crept up her chest. “Also nice.”
I rose up onto my knees, closing the distance between us.
“Okay, clothes off. You need a reminder of what I’m capable of.
” Looming over her, I grasped her chin and forced her to look at me.
“I refuse to accept being labeled as nice. I will, however, settle for mind-blowing, the best you’ve ever had, or life-changing. ”
Dipping low, I took her mouth roughly, and, thank God, she responded by wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me closer. The storm outside was raging, but the real lightning was inside, arcing between us.
“Let’s leave this here,” she said against my lips as she worked the button on my jeans. “A nice experience. A shared adventure.”
Pulling back, I scrutinized her. Though she hid it well from others, the vulnerability rolling off her was palpable. This woman had been burned before. She’d been cast aside by dumbasses who didn’t understand just how fucking spectacular she was.
I kissed down the column of her neck, secretly rejoicing when she shivered in response.
I’d already tugged one strap off her shoulder, and I’d be damned if I didn’t spend the proper amount of time worshipping her body.
Round one had been fast and intense, but this time, I’d go slow.
Make sure the word nice was expunged from her vocabulary forever.
“I’ll give you an adventure. But trust me, when I’m done, you’re gonna want even more.”
She gasped as I took her nipple into my mouth. “Okay, Stretch,” she sighed. “Give me an adventure.”
Like me, Adele was the type who required a vigorous workout before she could think straight. It explained her constant presence in the gym, and also why, after another three orgasms, she was finally ready to relax and talk to me.
If that was what it took, making her come dozens of times so she’d open up to me, it was a tax I’d happily pay.
“You smell good,” she said, nuzzling against my bare chest. We probably should have put clothes on, but since we were likely sleeping here, it didn’t seem pressing.
“Can I ask you some questions?” Her voice was softer than I’d ever heard it.
I pulled her closer, tucking her head under my chin. “I’m an open book, She-Ra. You can ask me anything.”
She pulled in a deep breath, her chest pressing against my side, and dragged one finger along the lines of the tattoo on my left pec for several long seconds before she finally spoke. “I want to know what happened with Alicia.”
The tightness in my chest loosened, and I hummed.
This was an easy one. “Alicia and I were both going through shit when we got together. I was stationed in Virginia, alone and settling into life in the Navy, and she was going to law school and struggling to keep up. We’d always been friends. And then we were more.”
I stopped for a moment, letting the sounds of the rain fill the air. Talking to the woman I was obsessed with about the mother of my child was tricky, but this version of Adele, thoughtful and vulnerable and honest, was easy to open up to.
“Those years were really important to me. They always will be. She and I grew up together. Figured out how to be parents, and eventually functioning adults, together too.”
She chuckled.
“And we got Merry out of the deal. But our relationship was never quite right. Neither of us was happy, so we decided to be co-parents and best friends instead.”
“You make it sound so easy. So mature.”
It was not easy. Especially during the first few years after we separated. But I’d gotten lucky with Alicia. Together, we figured our shit out and worked to be the best parents we could be for Merry.
“Eh, we’ve had our moments. But she’s really something.
She adores Mike, and he’s perfect for her.
They take trips and learn about art and wine and all kinds of stuff that’s never interested me.
He’s great with Merry, too, but he’s never overstepped or tried to take my place. He doesn’t try to be her dad.”
“It must be hard to see her moving on.”
“I’m happy for her.” I shrugged. “She deserves the best.” Sometimes, in my lonely moments, I felt guilty for not making it work for Merry’s sake.
But the older I got, the more I’d made peace with the way things had played out.
Alicia and I weren’t in love. That was okay, and Merry would still have a wonderful childhood with loving parents.
Not only that, but now she had another adult in her corner.
Three people who loved her unconditionally and always had her back rather than two.
Adele shifted and pulled away. The loss of her hit me immediately. I sat up, trying to pull her back. I needed this. The feel of her in my arms, the smell of her shampoo as I snuggled closer.
But she resisted. Instead, she sat cross-legged, facing me head-on. “Do you still love her?” Her voice was firm, but there was a hint of hesitation there.
“Of course I do,” I said, without missing a beat. “I love her as a friend, as the mother of my child. She’s been by my side through all the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. We support each other and root for each other. I can’t imagine my life without her.”
Her eyes were soft, but the set of her jaw was hard. Damn. She was uncomfortable.
“So yes,” I continued, desperate for her to understand but also adamant about being honest. “I love Alicia deeply. But not in a romantic way. Not in that passionate, can’t-live-without-you way. No, I’ve never experienced that.”
She put her hand on my chest and regarded me. “You’re a good man. I’m sure it will happen someday.”
Ignoring the pit that formed in my stomach, I shrugged. “Maybe not. I had a messed-up childhood, and going to war didn’t exactly help. Now? I’m stuck up in Lovewell, and I have no idea what the future holds.”
She leaned in closer, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “You undersell yourself. There’s a lot of potential in here.” She tapped my chest.
The movement made my stomach flip. “If I ever find that special someone, not only will she have to love Merry, but she’ll have to understand that Alicia will always be a part of my life.
Forever and ever. We are a family. Me and Merry and Alicia and even Mike.
This person has to want to join our weird little family. ”
“Anyone would be lucky to join your weird little family.”
I pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. The gesture was probably way too familiar and intimate, given that we had been shouting at each other a few hours ago, but it felt right.
When day broke, the storm had passed. The tarp and sleeping bag had made the conditions bearable, but a musty old warehouse during a lightning storm was not exactly luxurious. Still, we’d made it work.
The awkwardness set in the moment we were both awake.
Spending the night wrapped around one another probably had something to do with it. When I’d opened my eyes, her face was on my bare chest, and the tiniest bit of drool had pooled at the corner of her mouth.
Waking up with Adele in my arms was a dream come true. Drool and all. It made sense. It worked. And it felt perfectly natural.
“Before we head out, we should talk about this,” I said gently.
The open and thoughtful Adele was gone. In her place was the surly woman I’d come to know well over the last couple of years. Her response to my suggestion was to cross her arms and turn away. This was not a good start.
She kicked at the dirt floor, avoiding eye contact, and then busied herself folding up the sleeping bag.
“I’m gonna go check the plane,” I said when it was obvious that she wouldn’t engage in conversation.
The way her body sagged in relief hit me like a roundhouse to the gut.
I clenched my fists, searching for the words that would make her understand how much she meant to me. I couldn’t turn my back and pretend none of this had happened.
When we were together, for that one brief moment, I’d felt alive again.
But her cold regard after all we’d shared last night ate at my confidence and my resolve. So without another word, I turned on my heel and headed out to my plane.