Gus #2
A minute later, Adele appeared, her tiny dog nipping at her heels, and cooed at their son, who was fussing a little louder now. “Go get my chair. I’ve got to feed him.”
Finn passed the baby off to her, then hustled out of the room. A minute later, he was back, carrying the rocking chair I’d made when the baby was born.
She settled in it and pushed off gently with one foot. “I love this chair,” she said, beaming at me. “It’s this little guy’s favorite. I make Finn move it from room to room for me.”
Finn stroked her hair, his eyes warm and fixed on her. “She was carrying it herself a few days after giving birth,” Finn grumbled. “Wouldn’t let me do anything.”
She tilted her head back and patted his bearded cheek. “He needs a job. So now he’s my chair guy. My hero.”
Finn pulled a thin blanket off the back of the chair for her, and she draped it over herself. We all looked away politely as she latched the baby.
“Okay. Continue,” she said as she rocked.
The memories rushed me, along with the thrill that always hit me when I saw Chloe. How I’d rearrange my entire day just to drop by that coffee shop. The ache in my chest went away as soon as she smiled in my direction.
“We hung out. Her mom was sick then. Cancer. And Chloe was taking care of her. She was so sad and so beautiful. I made it my mission to make her smile every single day.”
“You?” Jude guffawed. “But you don’t believe in smiling.”
“Maybe not for myself.” I chuckled. “But if you knew Chloe, you’d realize just how spectacular and rare her smiles are.”
“I’m so confused.” He took off his glasses and squinted at me. “I’ve been out working in the woods for a week and now you’re a different person? Were you abducted by aliens?”
“Nah, I’m focused, that’s all.”
“Dude, we’ve worked together every day for the last ten years. I’m your goddamn brother. I want a DNA test to confirm you haven’t been body snatched.”
Finn just laughed, “I get it, dude. She’s your person.”
I gave him a grateful nod.
“So what went wrong?” He asked.
“Dad was against it, obviously, and her family freaked out. There was a lot of fighting. She’d planned to go to college in Canada. That’s what her mom wanted. But then things got complicated.” My heart dropped and pain lanced my chest at the memory. “And before I could fix it, she was gone.”
Adele gasped.
“It was a messy time for both of us. She was grieving. I was trying to figure out how to be an adult and make my own decisions. And we were both young and impulsive. Running off and getting married was dumb, but we didn’t feel like we had any other choice.
” I ran my hands through my hair and tugged, trying to distract myself from the lump that was forming in my throat.
We were going a lot deeper than I was comfortable with.
“Wait, Mom knew?”
“Eventually.” I nodded. “At first, she stayed out of my business. Owen had gone to college by then, but Cole was nine, and the rest of you hellions were teenagers. The poor woman was just trying to keep you guys alive most days. I was living above Dad’s garage at the time, and I thought I was so grown up.
“So we went to Montreal and got married. She was grieving and I was rebelling, and she moved into my apartment and we tried to make it work. But it just never felt like we found our footing. And our parents were so upset, it just made things harder.”
“As if Dad had any authority on the subject of marriage.”
I snorted. “Exactly.” I’d ignored my parents’ protests, like the punk that I was.
But while I could brush off the chastisement, Chloe’s father’s disapproval gutted her.
Between that and the grief of losing her mom, I didn’t know how to help her.
I didn’t know how to fix it. And I stupidly thought if I listened to my dad, things would work out.
“We argued, she moved out, and instead of fighting for her, I just worked and tried to push through it. Then she left for school. Dad got his lawyer to draw up the papers. I signed them.”
I looked around at my brother’s shocked faces. I’d never been particularly open about my personal life, but reliving this chapter was especially painful.
Jude straightened where he sat on the floor. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
I arched a brow, my irritation growing. “That I married the most incredible woman I’ve ever met in my life yet couldn’t get my shit together and keep her?
” It had always just seemed easier to try and forget this.
Keep working, keep moving. It was only now, decades later, I saw how flawed that strategy had been.
“I guess this goes a long way toward explaining why you’re, you know… you,” Cole added.
The glare I hit him with was sharp enough to make him shudder. Cole might have been the tallest, but he was still the baby of the family, and I had a solid fifty pounds on him.
“You think you have a shot now?” Finn asked.
There was no good way to answer that question. It had been too long, and the distance she and I had put between us was great. But the other night had ignited a flame of hope inside me.
“Here’s the thing,” I said, scratching at the label on my beer bottle.
“We’re both adults now. I’m fucking forty, for God’s sake.
It’s been a really long time. But when she walked into that conference room, I woke up.
It’s like I’d been asleep for the last twenty years, but the moment she was in my proximity, my eyes just opened. ”
“Damn.”
“The knowledge that she’s here is enough to have me jumping out of bed in the morning. Things feel different. I feel different. The connection is still there.”
“It’s romantic.” Adele sighed. “I’m proud of you.”
I smiled at her and thanked God for sending her to my brother. He’d been floundering until he met her. And now they were blissfully happy.
“Aren’t you worried?” Cole asked.
“Terrified,” I admitted with a dip of my chin.
“She can barely stand to be in a room with me. But I catch her staring at me when she thinks I’m not looking.
And her pupils dilate so wide they practically swallow her irises when I get close.
She’s feeling things too. And I’m not afraid of a little hard work. ”
“I hated Finn,” Adele admitted. “For years.”
Finn’s grin almost split his face in two. “I wore her down.”
She nodded, peeking under the blanket at the baby. “He did. And eventually, I could not resist the lumberjack charm.”
“Especially after you beat me in strip axe-throwing.”
Looking at the two of them, I was struck with a sharp pang. Finn had found what he was looking for and was exactly where needed to be.
And I wanted that. All of it. The contentment, the banter, and the passion.
For the first time in my life, I saw a glimmer of hope. Chloe. I knew what I wanted, now I just had to put my head down and work for it.