Chapter Four #2
I nod. “He grabbed my wrist when I told him I’d still rather go out the front door.
Ben’s interruption helped…until it didn’t.
” I can still see Trainor’s twisted pout as he dragged me to the back exit.
He wasn’t just determined; he was afraid.
If I had to guess, I’d say he was more afraid of what would happen if he failed to show up with me in tow than he was about getting caught.
The nerve at Dax’s jaw twitches. “Ben should have mentioned that he touched you.”
I ignore the statement and finally ask about Ben.
“Did you find Trainor? Did Ben get away okay? I mean, I didn’t get much chance to talk to him at the bakery, but he saved me twice today.
If it wasn’t for him…” I let the sentence trail off rather than say what we all know to be true; if it wasn’t for Ben, I’d already be in Franz’s hands and half-dead.
Dax stiffens again. “Ben is fine. Trainor has been detained for questioning. I’m more worried about you.”
“Why? All I had to do was run away and hide.” Sure, the day had been unexpected, difficult, and fucking scary as hell, but not that much of a hardship given what could have happened.
I’m extremely lucky and without Ben, things could have turned out differently, but surely Dax knew I was unharmed? Ben would have told him. So why worry?
“You were almost kidnapped at a meeting I arranged for you, Jules!” he snaps, reading my confusion. “Anything could have happened. If it weren’t for Ben’s favourite new obsession…ugh!” Dax throws himself back in his seat. “I’m sorry, Jules. I’m sorry I put you in that situation. I should have—”
“What? What could you have done differently? None of that was your fault. Mr Trainor is a legitimate professor at VCC and the guy in charge of my course. You weren’t to know he’d hand me over to Franz’s people.”
“I should have vetted him more thoroughly,” he argues. I hear it—the desperation, the self-loathing, the blame he’s oh so willing to pin on his own chest, the doubt I left him with after everything I said in his office.
“Trainor sold out. Franz took the opportunity. It could have been anyone dragging me outside today; the barista, another customer, Franz himself could have walked in and yanked me out by my hair, and I bet no one would have interfered.”
Cas coughs.
“Okay, maybe Cas would have dick-kicked the toad. My point is you can’t investigate every single stranger I come into contact with.”
“I could just restrict you from meeting anyone…” he grumbles.
“And make me a prisoner?” Why is he being so irrational?
“Fuuuuck,” Dax groans. “Stop talking sense.”
“Then tell me why you’re being so unreasonable!?”
“Because…”
Aiden, silent until now, inclines his head. Cas quickly returns downstairs.
Dax stands up and stomps around. Prickling tension builds around him, like traversing the rug is generating all the energy he needs to open his mouth and say the words, but Aiden halts us both.
“Not here. We can’t have this conversation on cameras…not even in front of my personal team,” Aiden warns.
Only, I’m not willing to give up, not when I’m close to getting Dax to explain this strange hot and cold shit he pulls. “I want answers. I’m sick of secrets and being confused all the time and having to fill in the blanks for myself.”
“Upstairs,” Dax relents. “My room. Now.”
Aiden stands and holds out his hand for me. I take it and let him pull me up from my seat. There’s a weariness in my bones, but the atmosphere is just electric enough to spark energy within me. Excitement.
And fear.
Dax follows us, his footsteps resound on the wooden stairs. I shoot a glance down the hallway to Sylvie’s room, but Aiden catches my concern and dismisses it.
“She’s still at the hospital.”
Part of me is relieved; another part is nervous.
It’s just us here.
Dax’s room is a deep, dark grey-blue colour. Every wall and even the ceiling is painted. It should make the place seem small and oppressive, especially with all the dark wood furniture, but it’s masculine and elegant. Or perhaps it’s the sheer expanse of the place that stops it looking too dark?
Aiden walks to one of Dax’s armchairs stationed in front of a window with all the blinds drawn low.
Dax turns on the lamps to give us a little more light to see each other by.
I stand just inside the door and hover, unsure where I’m meant to go.
Anxious about what will be said and wondering if it’d be better to just forget it and escape to my room.
Even if running is sometimes the best choice, escaping from this situation is nothing like running from Franz earlier.
This is a promise of answers and running away from that is more about running from myself.
If I’ve discovered anything over these last few days, it’s that I’m not a coward.
So, I walk into the middle of the room and sit on the bottom of Dax’s duvet.
Dax leans against the frame of an open door. His bathroom, perhaps? Or closet? It’s too dark inside to see.
We wait for him to speak, to continue with whatever he was almost willing to reveal downstairs.
“I’m worried as you’re in this situation because of us.”
“Ehh-EHHHH,” Aiden shouts, mimicking the fail-buzzer sound of a TV game show. He raises his arms and crosses them in front of himself.
“Arsehole,” Dax mumbles.
“Coward,” Aiden fires back.
“I’m worried because it’s our fault you’re here,” Dax reiterates, glaring at Aiden. “But I’m more worried…” He hesitates, then watches me and my reaction to whatever he’s going to confess. “Because I care about you, little gem. You are important to me.”
My jaw drops. I think I heard what he said, but I flick my gaze between Dax on one side of the room and Aiden on the other. Dax watches me carefully, trepidation in the soft, back and forth roll of his lips. Aiden just grins and waves Dax on.
“Us. You are important to us,” Dax adds in a rush at Aiden’s prompt.
“A professional ‘I can use her as bait’ kind of important?” I ask, not wanting to be confused here.
“No!” Dax says decisively.
“Not at all,” Aiden grumbles.
“Though, you might be our best means of drawing Franz out…” Dax continues, speaking more to himself than the room.
“NOT. AT. ALL,” Aiden barks.
Dax shakes his thoughts loose. “Right…no. In the, ‘I nearly had a heart attack when you went missing,’ ‘have been a bastard to my people for losing you,’ ‘nearly strangled Aiden for encouraging me to make the appointment,’ ‘gave Mouse a black eye for stalking you’…”
“But he saved me…”
“And for that,” he confirms with a nod, as though saving me was a crime too. “‘Almost tore that other man’s hoodie off you because it wasn’t mine’…‘have wanted to hold you, and apologise, and kiss you since I saw your face on the cameras,’ kind of way.”
“You care about me?” I confirm, though it sounds a little more like a question than a statement.
“Yes.”
“We care,” Aiden adds, ensuring I don’t forget his claim.
“Why?” I watch one man and then the other as they look at me in confusion.
“Why?” He shrugs and shakes his head. His face a mask of disbelief. “Why not?” Dax asks.
“Because you’ve known me for less than a month. People don’t fall in…into care for each other in mere days. That’s for movies or books. Not real life.”
“How do you know that? People grow to care about people all the time.”
“I’ve lived for twenty-one years and not even my parents care for me. Forgive me if I’m a little suspicious when not one but two hot guys, reeking of danger,” I point at Dax, “and charm,” I point at Aiden, “tell me they care.”
“Do you care about us?” Aiden asks. He smiles innocently, but his eyes dance with mischief because, damn, he’s got me there.
“Yes.”
“Both of us?” Dax asks incredulously.
“Yes. Both of you.” It can’t be that simple, can it?
I think about how I came to fall for them and experience a wealth of flashbacks and moments that cement how I see them.
But I can’t think of one thing I’ve done to earn the same depth of feeling or consideration from them. “I have good reason to care,” I argue.
“And we don’t?” Dax retorts.
“Like what? What are your reasons?” Aiden asks.
How can he ask that? It’s all so obvious to me.
I point at them. “You guys stormed into my life and made everything shift.” My feet pace back and forth as I start listing all the things they’ve done; all the ways they’ve made me care.
“I wanted to escape from my dad, and you gave me that. You saved the kids. You set them up in safety. You’ve been right behind me the whole time.
Today was scary as hell, but part of me knew I’d be fine because you had me—because you were coming to get me.
” I sink into the mattress, picking at the cuffs of Dax’s shirt and drumming up the courage to tell them all of it.
“How could I not grow to care about you both when you treat me like I’m someone important?
” I take a deep breath. “But I offer you nothing. I’m not special.
What makes me worth your attention no matter your care? ”
Unexpectedly, it’s Dax who steps forward to explain.
“I knew you were special the second I witnessed your attitude and fire. It didn’t matter who I was.
It has never mattered to you, has it? From the second I first met you, all I’ve seen is your fight, your strength, your generosity, your determination.
Hell, you even schooled me for shouting at you. ”
“That makes me rude, not special,” I laugh.
His eyes twinkle with amusement. “It’s been a long time since someone other than Aiden put me back in my place.
Then seeing you sitting in that stairwell, shaking, covered in blood, torn shirt, your belongings thrown across the floor…
” he shakes his head. “You abandoned yourself to save him. God, the gratitude that flooded me…”
“I…”