Chapter Six
Alone and awake, with the curtains drawn and the dark décor, I have no concept of time, but I’m rested, so it must be morning.
Naked and wrapped in Dax’s sheets, I starfish my arms and legs, stretching and checking to see how long ago he left.
The bed is cooling, but there’s a trace of lingering warmth.
I close my eyes and let last night swirl in my mind.
I’m proud of myself for making the move and embarrassed all at the same time.
I never knew aches could feel good. My body protests every movement I make, but only because this languid comfort is its own kind of heaven.
I’m curious about Dax’s current feelings about last night and consider waiting for his return.
Still, this isn’t my room, and I have no idea what time it is.
I glance around for a clock, an alarm, a phone—something, but there’s nothing.
There is, however, just enough light to see by, and it’s coming from the doorway Dax was leaning against last night.
I hear the steady hiss of running water and decide a shower is exactly what I need.
I guess I’m about to find out how Dax feels in the light of day.
Swallowing up every anxious, self-conscious, body-insecurity thought I have, I stalk to the bathroom utterly naked and swing open the door, thanking the heavens he didn’t lock it. That has to be a good sign, right? An invitation?
Steam clouds the shower door and mirrors. The heat in the room is comfortable, but he obviously likes his shower hot.
“Want some company?” I ask, giving him the right to refuse before I slide the shower door open and he’s forced to reject me to my face. It clicks as he opens it for me. I accept the invitation and climb in behind him.
Only, it’s not Dax.
“Good morning, Tiger,” Aiden drawls, turning around with a huge grin. “You look fucking stunning this morning!”
Stunning is the right word, but for the wrong reasons.
I am stunned. Gobsmacked. Staring at a wall of slick, wet muscles.
I try to tear my eyes away from the way the water streams in rivulets over the chiselled perfection of his carved form, but there’s nowhere else to look.
I try looking down, but, holy hell, that’s even more of a mistake.
A thatch of soft brown curls is my only warning before another kind of muscle greets my bleary eyes.
Is it even a muscle? God, I don’t know, but it flexes and moves like he’s showing it off, and he has every right.
Shorter than Dax’s but thicker, his cock is just as impressive as the rest of him.
I try to speak, but words are not my priority at this moment.
“Fuck. Shit…Um…sorry! I thought you were…Goddamn it!”
Aiden’s shoulders sink. “Ah…And here I was hoping you were looking for me.”
“No. I…uh. I’ll leave you to it.” My cheeks are flushed, but so is the rest of me. I stumble back a step, but Aiden catches me and shakes his head.
“You don’t have to. I’m almost done anyway, and it’s lovely and warm in here. You stay. I’ll go.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me too,” Aiden mumbles as he steps out of the shower. The disappointment in his voice is so visceral it hurts us both.
“Aiden! Wait.” He stops. I turn off the shower, and the stillness of the room surrounds me, allowing me to focus solely on him. “I’m embarrassed,” I admit. “I don’t know how to do this. How do I go from one man’s bed to another man’s shower?”
“Technically, it’s Dax’s shower,” he teases, “but it has those jets that I love, and it beats washing with the rest of the guys.” His tone is light, but I can tell he’s just trying to ease the tension between us. He sighs. I hear a towel drop before he taps on the shower door. “Can I come in?”
I consider his question. My mind throws logic at me.
We’re both naked.
We’ve now seen each other naked.
Nakedness doesn’t have to mean sex.
Though even if it became more, I’ve already accepted that I want both men.
But having discussed it with Aiden as a possibility doesn’t mean it is a given.
I need to talk to Dax.
So…do I let him come in?
“Yeah.”
Aiden steps inside and spins me to face the shower unit. He stands behind me and turns on the water again. “It’ll get cold quickly. This will keep us both warm as we talk,” he explains.
Swallowing hard, I keep my hands pinned to my side. I think I’m more nervous now than I was last night. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was rejecting you.”
Aiden sucks in a deep breath and reaches for the shampoo.
“Rejection is always a possibility. There’s always a chance you’ll pick one of us and stick.
It’s the norm; it’s easy to do. So, I’m prepared to accept it if that’s the path you’d rather choose, though I got the impression you wanted us both last night?
” he asks. The soft way he poses the question reveals his vulnerability.
He stills while he waits for my response.
“Yes. I did. I expected you to stay,” I admit.
He starts to move again. There’s a snap of the lid on the shampoo bottle and the hiss of air leaving the container. So normal and human and yet I’m too nervous to even smile.
“I left because you needed Dax and he needed you,” he tells me. “You’ve already bonded. Your attraction to one another is part of the reason you bang heads all the time, but you were both too afraid to push through the crap.”
I wholeheartedly agree. Something between Dax and me just devolves. Like we’re both so desperate to flee our Vale shit, we don’t see we’re just dragging it around with us.
“And me and you? Have we bonded?” I ask in a cowardly, roundabout way. It’d be easier to ask, ‘Do you want me?’ but those words are for a much braver woman than I.
“Yeah, Tiger, but maybe our bond isn’t as obvious yet. We need our own time together.”
I like the sound of that. The small moments I’ve had with just Aiden and me are always so full of comfort and care.
Not to mention the panty-melting way he wrangles the kids.
Sexy, kind, and perfect. He’d probably be husband material if I were a little older or ever planned to marry.
Then again, I’m discussing a threesome? Three-way? Throuple? Whatever.
Aiden massages the shampoo into my scalp, combing it through the length with his fingers. I’m distracted for a second before I remember what I need to ask.
What were the boundaries? Who is with whom?
I screw up a little more courage and dig in. “And you and Dax…how does that work? You’re close, I can see that, and you seem to read his needs better than he can most of the time. Are you two…umm…together too?”
Aiden chuckles at the stupid, immature way I handle that question, but he doesn’t ridicule me for it, for which I’m thankful. I need guidance, not mockery, or I’ll never be comfortable enough to figure this stuff out.
“Dax and I met a few years back because of the work we’re doing.
The group I work for sought a way to get inside the corruption happening in Harrison, and Dax gave us that opportunity through Trevainne.
When I was originally assigned, I was like Cas; a bodyguard, an observer, hired muscle. Dax was going through a loss…”
“Celeste?”
“Yeah. It messed him up for lots of reasons, and I couldn’t just stand by and watch as this young man, not much younger than myself, totally fell apart.
I made it my mission to refocus him, to give him something to fight for, and it worked…
maybe a little too well. We grew to like each other as friends, brothers even.
We learned each other’s secrets and kept each other’s confidences.
” The scent of lime and aniseed fills the space around us as I fight not to give in to the moan building in my throat.
Who knew having your hair washed by someone else felt this good?
I can’t even remember the last time Mum washed my hair, let alone a stranger or a future lover.
Shit, what was he saying? Lovers…Dax.
“So not lovers, but something just as close?” I clarify.
“Yeah. You should know we’ve shared women before. Rarely, and only in a one-night stand capacity,” he confesses, halting mid-massage.
“I’m not a first then?”
“Does that bother you?”
I don’t even have to think about it. “No. I’m neither na?ve nor selfish enough to think you’ve both been celibate or, um…
vanilla…before me. The suggestion of us all being involved together would never have come up otherwise.
I’m hoping earlier experiences mean you’ll both have some idea of how this works. ”
“Or not,” he grunts, returning to run his fingers through the strands of my hair.
“What do you mean?”
“There’ve never been feelings involved before. Until recently, I wasn’t sure Dax even knew what feelings were, to be honest.”
“Do you mean after Celeste?”
“No. Even with her. Before her…whatever.”
“Then I guess we’ll have to figure those out together,” I suggest around a smile.
“So, you’re in?” he asks, as though it’s that simple. Perhaps it is?
“I’m in,” I agree. “I just need to check with Dax to be sure he’s in too.”
“Good idea. We should probably all sit down and do the adult thing,” Aiden grumbles playfully. As though putting the three of us in a room isn’t the best idea I’ve heard this morning.
“Talk it out?” I ask.
“Fuck it out,” he fires back, kissing my shoulder.
I laugh as Aiden spins me around to rinse my hair. His smile mirrors mine as the water cascades down my back. He looks down, and his brows furrow as the dye discolours the water running around our feet.
My head keeps tripping over something he said before. About this being a job. What happens when his job is done? Is this all temporary?
I don’t want to ask, but I need to know before I get too involved and things get complicated. “What happens when your mission is done? Will you leave? Move on?”