Chapter Sixteen Fractures and Faults #2
"I spent most of my life pretending to be one thing or another so that I can get my revenge on Cias. Do you think I would go through all of that away, just turn around and ruin it now?"
His jaw ticked, but he held her gaze. "No. But I think you will put your revenge above everything else."
That made her pause--because he wasn't wrong.
She'd never been one for taking orders—not from Cias, and certainly not from Nox.
She knew that going forward, Nox would be in charge.
It was his people, his connections, and Adan would have to fall in line.
Nox didn't think she could do it. She exhaled sharply, returning her attention to the horse, picking up the brush.
"If you don't trust me, why are you still here?"
There was a beat of silence. Then, low and quiet, he said, "Because I do trust you."
Adan's grip tightened.
He cleared his throat, and continued. "We will be heading to the Loch tomorrow. There is a safe house that you will be staying in."
Her eyes snapped to his and by the look on his face there was no arguing with him on that front.
Adan scoffed and scowled, but did not disagree.
"The king thinks that you are at the Sicarii, and we must keep him thinking that."
"Any one of the seven other assassins that live there could tell him at any point that I have not been there for some time." She furrowed her brows at his flawed logic.
"Osho has taken great care to make it look like you are sick and bedridden."
Adan was shocked at that. Osho was her best friend, the only way that someone can be, without actually knowing who they truly are. But to risk himself in such a way brought tears to her eyes. That she quickly blinked away. Osho would have to go to extremes to make that happen.
"How?"
"A changeling." He rubbed the back of his neck. Adan wasn't sure what she disliked more, that someone else was wearing her face or that her best friend was risking his life for her. "He has it under control." Nox shrugged, Adan slowly shook her head, lowering her forehead to the chestnut.
They were quiet for a beat before she said, "You never told your second about me... did you?"
He shrugged, that nonchalant look plastered on his face. "Thammas doesn't need to know what or who you are--not yet."
"He does like me." She didn't understand why it bothered her.
"He doesn't trust you." He clarified.
"Seems to be a lot of that these days." She huffed.
Nox's lips twitched. "Can you blame him? For you to change his mind, you would have to tell him the truth about yourself." As if that were clarification enough.
Adan scoffed, she didn't care that much. The mare huffed softly, nudging her shoulder as if sensing the tension radiating off her. Adan sighed and ran her fingers through the horse's mane, using the motion to ground herself.
Nox's large hand wrapped around the brush, taking it from her and tossing it into a bucket. She no longer had something to keep her busy, her hands dropped, and her head tilted back to look up at him.
"Choosing whom to trust, in this little game, is a matter of life and death." He wasn't wrong.
She had to know, she had to ask him. "What is winning this war worth to you?"
He ate up the space between them, the mare snickered as she was gently pushed to the side of the pen. Nox stepped in closer, so close she had to tilt her chin up to keep eye contact.
"My life." The words were a cold truth--like it was just a fact--like it was inevitable if they weren't careful. His eyes flickered over her face, and for a moment, it almost looked like he wanted to say something more. But instead, he exhaled, stepping back.
She would sacrifice herself if it brought true change to this world. In truth, she had nothing to lose, it was an easy choice for her.
He sighed, "You should get some rest," he patted the horses neck. "We leave at dawn."
She moved to pass him, too tired to argue. His fingers curled around her wrist, gentle but firm, stopping her in her tracks. The warmth of his touch sent a jolt through her, but she refused to react. Instead, she glanced down at his hand, then back up at him, raising a brow in silent question.
For a moment, Nox didn't say anything. He just held her there, his gaze searching hers, as if he were trying to read something beneath the surface.
"Don't kill Thammas in his sleep." She wasn't sure what she'd expected him to say, but it wasn't that. He let go and cleared his throat.
She gave him a soft friendly smile, ignoring the burning ring around her wrist were his hand used to be. "Unless he talks in his sleep, he should be fine." Adan gave Nox her back, exiting the barn to make her way towards a comfy bed. Tomorrow would be another trial in it self--everyday was.
Nox turned to the mare named Ash that Adan had been grooming moments ago. His hand brushed down her neck to keep from staring at Adan as she walked away.
"You know," a voice drawled from the other end of the barn. Nox's head snapped up towards the sullen drawl of his second. "I'll give her one thing. I've never known a princess to shovel shit." He eyed the clean stalls and the fresh water and hay.
Nox sighed into Ash's neck. "You see too much, old friend."
Thammas shrugged, leaning on the gate of Ash's stall. "It's my job." His eyes narrowed. "Do you not trust me, now?"
Nox snorted and shook his head, he had trusted Thammas explicitly—with his life.
He just wasn't ready to trust anyone with Adan's.