Chapter 18
SKYLER
He’s not talking. He’s not saying a word.
The Jasper hospital is thirty minutes from my house, and he doesn’t open his mouth the whole way home. Instead of pulling into my garage, he parks in the driveway, and my stomach sinks. He’s not staying.
I get out of his truck and walk up to the door. I don’t have anything. No keys, nothing, but Terry opens my door for us. “Oh my God, you’re okay!” He hugs me and puts an arm around my shoulder as he walks me into the house.
He sits me down on the couch. “Are you okay?”
I nod, peeking a look at Zach. He’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a blank expression on his face.
I mutter to Terry, “Yeah, I’m okay. A little bruised, but it could have been much worse.”
Terry worriedly starts listing things. “I’ve scheduled some of your drafts for social because I figured you’d want to take a few days off.”
“But—” I start.
Terry interrupts me. “Skyler, you need to give it a few days at least. You won’t be able to hide those bruises behind makeup right now.”
Reluctantly, I nod. I know he’s right, and even though I can’t go live or tape any new videos, I can bake. I have to bake; it’s how I cope with things.
Terry continues, reminding me why I hired him.
“I cleaned up the kitchen. I knew you wouldn’t feel like cooking anything, so I made a meat, cheese, and fruit charcuterie board for you to snack on.
” He finally takes a breath. “Do you need anything else?” He looks at Zach, frowns, and then looks back at me.
“I can hang around and help you or whatever.”
I wait for Zach to say he’s got it or that he’s going to be here, but he says nothing. I shake my head. “Thank you for everything today, Terry. You’re the best. Why don’t you take tomorrow off and we’ll get back to our regular schedule—”
Terry sits down on the coffee table. “I’m so sorry, Sky. I feel horrible that he was able to get in because you unlocked the door for me.”
I reach over and squeeze his arm. “Don’t. None of this is on you. That guy is crazy.”
He nods sadly before standing up. “Okay, well, I’m going to go and let you rest. Call me if you need anything. And Janie has been calling constantly, checking on you. We can come sit with you or, well, whatever you need.”
I kick off my shoes and pull my legs up under me. “Thank you, Terry.”
He stops next to Zach, says something under his breath, and then walks through the house. It’s not until I hear the back door close that I lift my chin to Zach. “Are you okay?”
He jerks like I physically hit him or something. “God, don’t ask me that.”
I wrap my arms around my knees, holding my legs to my chest. “Talk to me, Zach. Are you mad at me? I told you that I’m sorry for unlocking the door.”
He clenches his eyes shut and shakes his head. “Don’t apologize to me. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I move to the edge of the couch and let my feet touch the floor.
All these emotions are swirling inside me, but I force myself to stand up and move toward him.
He tenses the closer I get. I stop when I’m standing right in front of him.
I know he’s got things he’s trying to work through, but I’m not ashamed for what I’m about to ask him. “Zach.”
He whispers, “Yeah?”
I lean my head back to look up at him. “I can’t even pretend to know what you’re feeling right now or what you’re thinking, but I need something from you.”
“What… what do you need?” His voice cracks on the last word.
“I want to sleep—”
He gives me a helpless look. “You can, but I’m going to have to monitor you through the night. Doctor’s orders.”
I tip my head and search his eyes. “You sure you want to do this? I can get Aria or one of my brothers over here.”
He shakes his head firmly once. “I can do it.”
I nod. “Okay. Well, what I need is to lie down and for you to hold me. Nothing else, just hold me.”
He swallows hard. “I can do that.”
I should let it go, but I stay right where I’m at. “Can you hug me, Zach? I just need…”
I don’t know how to explain what I need, but after everything today, I feel like I’m losing touch with me, with him, with my whole damn life.
He hesitates, and my stomach sinks, but he finally brings his arms up and wraps them around me. He holds me so tightly I can barely take a breath, but I don’t complain. I practically melt into him, wondering if he can absorb some of what I’m feeling.
He kisses the top of my head. “Come on. You have to be exhausted. Let’s get you to bed.”
I nod but don’t move. I’m afraid if I let him go, this is it. He’s been acting strangely since this morning, and I’m so afraid he’s going to walk out that door and I’ll never see him again. He picks me up, holding me to his chest.
I look up at him, but he’s staring straight ahead.
He carries me upstairs and sets me on the end of the bed. He pulls the covers down and then helps me get comfortable. He’s treating me like a child, but I happily go along with it. He starts to stand up, but I hold my hands out to him. “Lie down with me.”
His eyes are filled with pain. “Sky, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I know he’s dealing with things. Hell, he shot someone today, and I know that can’t be easy on him. I don’t want to beg, but I’m not above it. “Please. I just want you to hold me.”
He lies down next to me, on top of the covers. I press my body against his, and after a brief moment, he wraps me in his arms.
My cheek is pressed against his chest, and the steady thump of his heart beating is soothing in a way I can’t explain. “Thank you.”
He tenses under me, but I continue. “Thank you for today, Zach. If you weren’t here… if you didn’t show up when you did…”
His voice is raw. “Please, don’t thank me. He should never have been able to touch you.”
I clench my eyes shut, trying to not let my mind go there. “But it could have been so much worse.”
His silence worries me. I want to ask him about it, but sleep starts to take me.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep, but when I wake up, Zach is sitting on the chair in the corner of the room, just staring at me. I start to get up, and he’s by my side in an instant. “What’s wrong? What do you need?”
I laugh and throw the covers off. “I need to pee.”
He scoops me up in his arms and carries me to the bathroom.
“Zach, I can walk.”
He just grunts. He doesn’t say anything else until he sets my feet on the bathroom floor and then hovers next to me. “Are you hungry? You didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, and you should eat something.”
“Yeah, I could eat.”
He stands there, staring at me, and I give him a playful shove. “You, uh, going to go so I can take care of business?”
He doesn’t smile. Doesn’t laugh, nothing. He backs out of the bathroom and grabs the door, not closing it all the way. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
I pull my pants down and sit, but even though I need to go, I can’t. “Zach.”
Instantly, he has the door open and is standing in front of me. I put a hand up. “Hey, uh, can you close the door? I can’t do this with you listening to me.”
He doesn’t want to, but he walks back out and shuts the door. Quickly, I take care of my business, wash my hands, throw some water on my face, and then brush my teeth. My hair is standing up all over the place, so I pull a brush through my wayward strands.
Only when I feel more put-together do I walk back out of the bathroom. Zach is waiting for me, and he doesn’t say anything, just scoops me up and carries me back to bed. “Lie down and I’ll get you something to eat.”
As soon as he releases me, he’s practically sprinting from the room.
I put my back against the headboard and look at the empty doorway. An uneasy feeling comes over me.
When Zach comes back, he’s carrying a drink and a big plate of food. He sets the water bottle on the nightstand and holds the plate out to me. It’s filled with crackers, meats, and cheeses. “This looks good.”
“Terry,” he explains.
I nod and take a bite. I pull my feet up under me. “Have a seat.”
Instead of sitting on the bed next to me, he sits on the chair. I take a few bites, thinking of what I need to say, and when I think I have my thoughts together, I set the plate down on the empty bed beside me. “Talk to me.”
Zach is staring at his hands. “What do you want to talk about?”