Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Lady Katherine! I hope ye’re ready for me!” Lady Elspeth called from just outside Katherine’s door. “I’ve brought yer dress. Tilly and Agnes are already waitin’ for us in the solar.”
Katherine opened the door, smiling at the woman. She waved her in, a little thrill running through her when she saw her finished gown draped over Elspeth’s forearm. While it was still difficult to accept that she was allowed to have fine things, the energy of the morning had gotten under her skin.
“It seems Tilly got ye ready for me,” Elspeth said as she stepped over the threshold, carrying the forest green gown over to the privacy screen. “Yer hair looks quite bonnie.”
“Ye look just as bonnie yerself,” Katherine said, ducking her head to hide her bashful smile. “I think that ye should wear that lavender color more often.”
“Do ye?” Elspeth replied as she gestured for Katherine to remove her robe. “It’s new. Me father insisted that I must represent him well today.”
As Katherine put the garment aside, she swallowed around a lump in her throat. There was more underlying what Elspeth said. It was a kind of pain that Katherine knew well, and the fact that Elspeth was willing to show her even a bit of the weight she was carrying felt like a lifeline.
“I think ye should only care about how you represent yerself,” Katherine said finally, allowing Elspeth to help her into the gown. As she turned around, she said, “Have ye seen Laird MacDougal today?”
Elspeth hummed thoughtfully, her hands expertly fastening the buttons. “Truthfully, I havenae. But I imagine he’s takin’ care of some things, so he can enjoy the day.”
“Aye,” Katherine murmured, her heart sinking.
She still didn’t understand what she’d done. It was frustrating and confusing, his constant push and pull. And now, not knowing if he would even be in attendance for the ceilidh made her feel as though there was something wrong with her.
“Why are ye frownin’?” Elspeth asked as she stepped in front of Katherine once more. She scanned Katherine’s face, seemingly in an attempt to find an answer there. “Do ye nae like yer gown? Perhaps we can add some ribbons on the bodice to improve this.”
“Nay, nay, I do like the gown,” Katherine said quickly. “I suppose I’m just a wee bit nervous about the celebration. It has been years since I attended a proper ceilidh.”
“And now ye’re one of the guests of honor,” Elspeth finished for her.
“I understand. But it is nothin’ to worry about.
” She reached out, adjusting the strands of hair that framed Katherine’s face.
“Now, let’s help finish makin’ the flower garlands.
We daenae have much longer before the ceilidh starts. ”
“Keepin’ me hands busy will be good for me mind,” Katherine said, relieved that she would have something to do to fill the time before guests began to arrive.
As they left the chambers, Katherine was a bit overwhelmed at the energy coming from the staff. They were rushing to and fro, all of them moving with what seemed like single-minded focus. She and Elspeth weaved through them, their elbows interlocked.
“I feel as if we’re goin’ to be knocked over,” Katherine said, her eyes scanning the faces they passed, part of her longing to see Liam among them.
She was sure she was going mad.
“Nay, they wouldnae dare send their lady to the floor,” Elspeth said. “Especially nae today. That would be in poor taste.”
Despite herself, Katherine laughed. It didn’t take away all of the pressure she felt in her chest and mind, but it loosened the knot between her shoulder blades. Regardless of what was happening with Liam, she was determined to have some sort of fun today.
As they joined Tilly and Agnes in the solar, Agnes looked away from the string of flowers she was carefully stringing together. She took in Katherine’s dress then with a nod of approval, she said, “I like that one even better than the one ye were married in.”
“But ye did like me first one, aye?” Katherine asked as she and Elspeth joined the two of them around the low table.
“Of course, I did,” Agnes replied, sounding offended that Katherine would even feel the need to ask. “This one makes yer eyes look even brighter. And it looks as though it’ll be easier to dance in.”
“Will ye be dancin’ with us then, Agnes?” Elspeth said as she pulled the basket of flowers toward them.
Tilly’s hand flew up to cover her mouth as Agnes struggled to stutter out a response. Katherine managed to keep her laughter contained until she saw that Elspeth was keeping her expression completely serious. It burst from her unbidden which only made Tilly laugh harder.
“I may dance,” Agnes said finally, “but I daenae ken how, and I daenae wish to learn in front of everyone.”
“I didnae even think to teach ye,” Katherine said, still giggling. It wasn’t often that she saw the girl flustered in any capacity. “I must apologize for me oversight. But I can teach ye how.”
“Nay one will care if ye daenae ken how to dance,” Tilly said, her voice back to its carefully professional tone. “They will be too busy dancin’ with one another.”
“Or they will be busy watchin’ Katherine,” Agnes pointed out. She seemed to have regained her serious demeanor in just a few short seconds. “The ceilidh is for her.”
“Then I will give ye yer first lesson,” Elspeth offered as she threaded a thick needle. Picking up a flower, she said, “I cannae promise ye that I will be any good at teachin’, though.”
“I daenae think anyone’s as good at teachin’ as Katherine,” Agnes said simply, turning back to her work.
The girl’s simple, honest assessment felt like a gift of the highest honor.
She couldn’t remember the last time someone had so blatantly shown their appreciation for her.
Unbidden, tears collected in the corners of her eyes.
To keep from making a fool of herself, she busied herself with the garlands.
“She is quite good,” Tilly said, her hands working expertly. “It seems that ye pick things up much faster when Lady Katherine teaches ye than ye do when anyone else does.”
Before Katherine had to come up with a response, the door to the solar swung open, drawing everyone’s attention. Standing there, dressed for the ceilidh, his kilt showing off his strong legs, was Liam. She swallowed when she saw the fire in his gaze, her throat clicking, her mouth dry.
“Lady MacDougal,” he said, his voice clipped and formal. “I would like to speak to ye in the corridor for a moment.”
“Of course,” Katherine said, surprised at how measured she was able to keep her tone as she put the garland aside and got to her feet.
I daenae like the way he’s lookin’ at me.
* * *
Liam’s hands itched to reach out to Katherine when she passed by him. The urge only grew stronger when he closed the door, plunging them into relative privacy. It would be so easy to touch her.
She looks more bonnie than I’ve ever seen her.
“I am surprised that ye’re still here,” Katherine said, the casualty of her voice clearly forced.
She was watching him, guarded but hopeful. It was the kind of expression that threatened to break him. He had to harden himself even further, tighten his jaw to keep from saying something he shouldn’t.
“I’ve come to inform ye that I’ve finalized me plans,” he said as professionally as he could muster. It was difficult to do when she was so close, the heat of her seeming to draw him in closer. “After the ceilidh, I will be leavin’.”
“I see,” she said, tilting her head to the side as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Is that all, then?”
“Nay,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Bracing himself for her disappointment, he continued, “I daenae ken when I will return. I am entrustin’ ye with Agnes while I am away. I ken that ye will take good care of her, continue with her lessons as ye have been.”
“Ye’re leavin’?” Katherine exclaimed, the explosive nature of her response surprising him. “And ye daenae even ken when ye will be back?”
Liam frowned but didn’t budge. “I have to leave to protect me people, Katherine. I have told ye.”
She looked away from him sharply. Her eyes were bright as she drew her bottom lip between her teeth. The way her shoulders slumped felt like a knife to his chest.
I daenae ken how to handle this. I cannae comfort her nor change me plans.
A beat passed before she turned toward him. The devastation that had been there just moments ago was replaced by fury. She made herself appear larger, even though her head still only reached his chin. It reminded him of an animal pushed to the edge in self-defense.
“What have I done?” she demanded, stepping slightly closer in a way that tempted danger.
Liam couldn’t respond, not because she’d done anything wrong nor performed her duties incorrectly, though. No, it was all his fault. It was his disgusting lack of control. He desired her badly, more than anything else in the land, but it was too much of a risk.
I must stop, and to do that, I cannae be around ye.
“Have ye forgotten that ye’re here to care for Agnes?” he said, moving in closer. Defaulting to sharper, colder language, he told her, “That is why ye are here. I am informin’ ye of an increase in yer duties. Ye shouldnae expect anythin’ more. I was clear with ye from the beginnin’.”
“Aye, ye told me, but it seems as if ye have forgotten that as well,” she said, the fire in her eyes growing even brighter.
“I havenae forgotten any of it,” Liam ground out.
His own frustration bubbled, but it wasn’t directed at her. Instead, it threatened to turn into a nasty, venomous thing. It was the precursor to taking an action that he’d surely regret.
And she is so damn close to me.
“Ye willnae dismiss me without cause. I am yer wife!” she snapped, her chest rising and falling rapidly with the force of her anger. “Ye kiss me, and then ye avoid me for days. Why? I ken the reason, but I accept the risk. So why do ye keep doin’ this?”
The entire castle fell silent or perhaps more accurately became muffled so that the only sound he could hear was Katherine’s ragged breathing. She looked as if she were about to strike, each muscle in her body tense and rigid.
Her questioning was too much. He couldn’t give her the answers she wanted, and the longer he stood in front of her, the less he trusted himself to maintain the distance he was trying to create. Taking a step back, he said, “Just do as ye are told, Katherine.”
Not allowing her a moment to respond, he turned and marched down the hallway. He knew that staying even a moment longer would end in disaster. It was imperative that he leave. The Pirate Laird was still out there somewhere, and finding him would keep Liam’s mind occupied.
As he turned the corner, he could feel Katherine’s eyes still lingering on him. He nearly broke, nearly gave her one last look, but he kept going. There was only one thing going through his mind as he put himself out of her sight.
I hope I didnae ruin the celebration for her.