Chapter 9
STELLA
“That was the best!” Alexis says as we settle at our table at Rive Cocktail Bar.
We’ve just been to a concert at the Commodore Ballroom where one of our favourite bands, Gizmo, played.
“I loved it.” I’m all bubbly and happy from the great music.
“This place is so dark.” Gracie looks around.
She’s not wrong. Everything is definitely dark: the furniture, the carpet, the walls. We’re at a small round table with four club chairs. The wall behind Gracie has illuminated contemporary art and a big tropical plant casts shadows on the wall from the chandelier above us, tiers of modern crystal.
“This place is so cool, it hurts,” Lauren says in a low tone, and we all laugh.
“They have great cocktails,” Gracie says.
“Also very cool,” I put in.
We look through the menu.
“It’s hard to decide,” I murmur. “These are amazing.”
Eventually, we decide on food and drinks, and we order shareables: Wagyu beef dumplings, Ahi tuna stack, marinated olives, and truffle fries. My cocktail is a Pink Tea: vodka, strawberry, rhubarb, lemon and… yogurt. Why not?
“Okay,” Gracie says. “We’ve been waiting all night for the deets on your date with Jayden Wood.”
“Waiting impatiently,” Lauren adds.
“On pins and needles,” Alexis says.
“On the edge of my seat.” Gracie grins.
I told them about our encounters in the park and other places, and how I regretted initially turning him down.
“I don’t know if it was really a date,” I reply, hands folded on the table. “We just went for… well, we had food and drinks. With our dogs. After we met up at the park.”
““Accidentally”,” Gracie says, making air quotes with her fingers.
I can’t stop my grin. “Well, we didn’t exactly plan it.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Okay, fine.” I scrunch up my face. “I found out he’s only twenty-five. I had no idea until I was looking at the team roster.” I feel a little weird about that.
“You’re only thirty, Stell. That’s not a huge difference. Look at him…” Gracie holds out her phone. “He doesn’t look twenty-five.”
“He looks hot,” Alexis says.
“Hockey players are very mature,” Gracie says.
“What?” Now it’s my turn to have my jaw sag. “You’ve met my brother and his friends. They’re children!”
“They’re grown-up now,” Gracie says dryly. “Getting married, having kids.”
“Well, they’re not hockey players anymore.”
“What I meant is, a lot of them leave home at a young age. They have to grow up fast. They’re basically working when they’re teenagers, with a lot of pressure on them.”
“That’s true…”
“But you didn’t sleep with him,” Lauren says.
“No.” I can’t stop my mouth from slipping into a pout.
They all exchange glances.
“What?”
Our drinks arrive and I take a sip, grateful for the distraction.
“Oh my good God. This is delicious.”
We all got something different, so we have to do a little shuffle of glasses around the table to sample all the drinks, which are delightful.
“We’re going out again,” I tell them.
“I knew that was coming,” Gracie states.
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah.” She nods. “I could tell from the way you’re talking about him. So when is the date?”
“Next weekend. Saturday.”
“You haven’t dated a lot since you and Cole broke up,” Alexis says.
“Not a lot,” I concede. “But I have. I like going out sometimes.”
“That’s all it ever is, though,” Gracie points out. “Going out. A few times, maybe. But there’s always some reason to not see the guy again.”
“One guy was too passive,” Lauren adds. “One was too controlling. One got mad at you when you waited for him for fifteen minutes and then left.”
“Do you blame me for not wanting to see them again?” I take another sip.
“No, of course not. But sometimes, I think you don’t even try to get to know them better.”
I frown. “You can’t ignore red flags.”
“True.” Lauren tilts her head. “Any red flags with Jayden Wood?”
I think back. I get a soft feeling in my abdomen, remembering his smile, his jokes, his flirting. I cast my mind back to the times we met in the park. And there was also the day we met up while shopping. “Um…”
“Uh oh,” Gracie says. “Nothing?”
“He has a dog.”
“That’s not a red flag.”
“I know. And he was nice to my dog. He has a nephew and niece that he babysits. They were at the park with him one night. His sister’s kids.”
“Hmmm.”
“And…” I look down at my cocktail. “He told his nephew it’s okay to be afraid. And the first time I turned him down for coffee, he was cool with it.”
They make more noises of understanding.
“We had a conversation about fate and luck,” I say slowly. “It was… interesting. He sort of made himself a little vulnerable, talking about how he’s disappointed in how he’s been playing and wants to do better.”
“Ohhh.”
“Oh, and he has two sisters.” I grin. “They made him play with Barbies and taught him about periods.”
“Wow.”
“He was nice to the servers at the restaurant. That’s a pretty low bar, but still… if a guy’s an asshole to them, that’s a big flag.”
“Absolutely.”
“He was also nice to a kid in the park who almost hit me with a ball.”
Gracie looks at me, slowly moving her head from side to side. “Girlfriend, you are in trouble.”
“What do you mean?” I frown. “Those are good things!”
“Exactly. But you don’t want a relationship with a man. You just want fun. And sex.”
“Right.” I look from one friend to another inquisitively. “What’s the problem?”
“You’re going out with a man who sounds perfect for a relationship,” Gracie says.
I slowly move my head from side to side. “We’re not… that’s not…” Oh shit. “You’re right. Oh my God. Green flags all the way.”
“Exactly.”
“He sounds like a keeper,” Lauren says almost apologetically.
“Respects boundaries,” Gracie says. “Check.”
“Emotionally available,” Lauren adds. “Check.”
“Keeps promises. Communicates openly.”
“Wait, wait.” Alexis brushes her long dark bangs out of her eyes. “He’s a hockey player.”
“Yes…?” Gracie tips her head.
I know what she means. I work in professional sports. Specifically, hockey. I’m well aware of the issues with hockey culture and hypermasculinity.
“He is a hockey player,” I agree quietly. “But I’m trying to think of any red flags and I’m coming up with zero.” And that’s a problem.
“Isn’t being a hockey player enough of a red flag?” Alexis says. “I just don’t want you…” Her voice trails off.
Again, I know what she means. “Don’t worry, Lex. I’m a big girl.”
Her mouth tilts into a crooked smile. “I know.”
“That’s all pretty good for a man you barely know,” Gracie says.
Yeah. It is. And I should be running for the Rocky Mountains.
I thought I met a fun guy I could have a hot fling with. Perfect. But Gracie is right. He’s the absolute wrong guy for me… because he could easily be someone I could fall for.
I have to end things with him.
“Betty! Hello!” My mom greets Betty with open arms and she scrambles to Mom when I let her off her leash at her place.
Mom picks her up and she enthusiastically swipes her tongue toward Mom’s face.
Mom loves her, but she won’t let her lick her face.
“Who’s a good girl? You’re such a good girl! I haven’t seen you for so long!”
I smile as I hang up her leash and take off my shoes at Mom’s front door. The house smells deliciously of roasting turkey. “She missed you, too.”
Then Betty discovers that Harrison is here too, sitting in the living room, and she barrels in there and leaps onto Harrison’s lap where he’s sitting on Mom’s couch.
“Hey, girl.” Harrison grins and grabs her. “Calm down. I’m happy to see you, too.”
Betty’s tongue hangs out as she breathes loudly in excitement. Her curled-up tail and entire back end vibrate.
Harrison’s fiancée Meredith is the next recipient of Betty’s joy. Luckily, she likes dogs, too. Otherwise she wouldn’t be allowed to join the family. Kidding.
“Down, Betty,” I say, although I know Meredith doesn’t mind her on her lap. “Control yourself.” I fish a treat out of a bag in my purse and hand it to her.
“Would you like a glass of wine, Stella?” Mom asks.
“Mmm. I’ll wait for dinner and have one then, since I’m driving.”
“Okay.” Mom takes a seat in an armchair and I do as well.
“Where’s Neil?” I ask Mom, referring to her latest boyfriend.
Her face tightens and the air in the room goes static. “We broke up.”
“Oh no.” I straighten. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Her expression says otherwise.
And in an instant, I am flashing back in time to the night Mom scared the hell out of me.
I was fifteen and confused about why she was going out with so many men when she and Dad had just split up.
Most of them I never met but, one night, she asked Harrison and me to stay home to meet this man when he came to pick her up.
She was giddy with excitement because she thought it was serious.
All dressed up in a black dress from Walmart, her makeup done, her newly blonde hair styled, she was having a glass of wine.
I was doing homework and I was sick about meeting this guy who could be my “new dad.” I didn’t want another dad. I wanted my old dad back.
But her date never showed up. Mom called him and he didn’t answer.
She had another glass of wine. And another.
I sat there feeling nauseated. She started crying, sobbing uncontrollably, mascara running down her face.
She was beside herself. Then she got pissed.
There was a vase of flowers on the living-room table that he’d given her.
They were almost dead at that point but she picked up the vase and heaved it against the wall.
The glass broke, and water and half-dead flowers went everywhere.