Chapter 23 Body, Heart, and Soul
Body, Heart, and Soul
Dom
Ipour steaming water over the tea bags. The citrus scent rises as I stir in milk and honey.
I got Seren down for bed—two stories and a sip of water later—while Jasmira continued to rest in her bedroom.
I was in the middle of some light cleaning when Jas appeared. She took my hand, her fingers rubbing absentmindedly over my pulse. “Can we talk?”
Now I stand here, stealing glances in the window at her silhouette on the deck. The nearly full moon shines its crimson-rose glow around her. I'm fighting to keep my wolf back. To give her the space she needs right now, and it’s fucking crippling.
I promised we’d talk. That I’d make tea, but the truth is, I’m stalling. Standing this close to her with our bond incomplete feels like heartbreak. My heart begs—it weeps. I yearn to be near her, tangled together with her in my arms, but I want it to be me. Not my wolf.
She fell asleep in his arms, and he dozed off with her. I had no choice but to leave her side and let her rest.
Taking Seren to school this morning is a memory I will always cherish. She told everyone about me and how we’re family. She loved the sprinkled donuts and laughed when I showed her the picture I took of us.
I place the mugs on a tray and dig some cookies out from the cabinet before stepping outside. The sound and scent of the rain are soothing. A sun sail protects us from the rain, but a few drops hit our skin.
Jasmira takes a mug and closes her eyes, letting the fragrant steam hit her nose.
She’s barefoot, wearing a long dress and a cardigan.
The fabric slips off one of her shoulders, revealing the thin strap.
She looks breathtaking with curls framing her face like a wild mane, flowing down her back.
Her heart slows to a meditating calmness.
My soul wants to wrap around hers and never let go. I shouldn’t feel that. Not this strongly. Right?
My wolf wants to take. Take. Take. Take. His claws are wrapped around this invisible moonlit thread. It’s the urge to claim her, to bury himself inside her, and lock into place.
I want to hear the sounds she’ll make. I want to see her body moving with mine. This urge to seal the bond and feel her emotions bleeding into my own is overwhelming.
She breathes deeply and rests the mug on her knees, her thumb gliding along the handle like she’s drawing lazy circles around what is happening. Silence surrounds us, holding the words we are unable to speak.
I can’t say I blame her for wanting to grab destiny by the fucking balls and demand a say in the matter. I didn’t ask for this either. No one asked for this.
I sip my tea, trying to think of what I can say. What words to speak that can provide any understanding or comfort.
She hums in approval after taking a drink. “You remembered."
I smile as her whole face lights up with this small act of service. She’s always serving others. It's time someone made a cup for her.
She clears her throat, eyes darting down towards the mug. “I can feel you,” she says, her words wrap around me and pull me towards her.
I watch as she arches her back slightly, a shiver running down her spine, like a feather stroking each vertebra.
“You're like a shadow under my skin.”
I clear my throat. “That sounds…creepy?” The corners of my mouth twitch as I try not to laugh.
She huffs. “It’s not creepy.” Her nose twitches as she chews on her words. “It’s odd. You’re sitting right beside me, and I can feel you, Dom.”
I growl at the way she says my name at the end of her confession. Calm. Down.
“Does it go away?”
“No, but it’ll lessen. It deepens after acceptance. It’s something we would get used to. It wouldn’t feel as weird anymore.”
She’s not supposed to look at me like that. Beautiful, deep green eyes filled with concern…and sadness. The bond surges between us. I set my mug down on the step below before I drop it. My wolf still paces beneath my skin, whispering in a growl one word over and over.
Amataria.
I swallow hard, wiping the palms of my hands on my legs, and force my voice to stay steady. “You don’t have to be afraid of the bond. I would never use it against you. I’d never—”
“I know you would never hurt me,” she says quietly. “You know I know that, right?”
"Yes,” I say. “Accepting the bond means making the bond permanent. Right now, it's open, it's raw, but our souls are connecting. It has to be accepted before the next moon cycle begins.”
She frowns.
I know how she feels. Time really isn’t on our side.
"So if we accept it, then what?” She shrugs mid-sip. “That's it then? We're mates? Just like that?” Her free hand waves wildly in the air. She takes a few breaths to calm herself. “We’ll have to..."
“The bond responds to connection, not only touch. It seals completely when both people have chosen to accept it. All three things need to be in alignment—the body, heart, and soul.” I wish I could reach out and touch her, hold her, and provide her more comfort than my words.
But I have to take it slow. The last thing I want is for her to run.
“It’s about surrender and complete trust. The bond can’t be forced. If the sealing of the bond happens between us, it’ll be because you want it. Not because the bond demands it.”
She stays quiet for a long moment. Her eyes focused on the moon. “Because I want it?” she questions out loud to herself.
“Do you want me, Dominik? You’re okay to be tied together—for life?” Her hand gestures to both of us. “I wasn’t sure the other day when all this came out, but it seems like you wouldn’t mind. You want this?"
“Yes,” I admit, and her eyes widen. Maybe she’s surprised at the truth I dropped or the zero hesitation in my response. I will never lie to her.
“Moiraya does not make mistakes. This bond is one of the most honest things a soul can do. You show someone every single part of you. That person would never turn away. They love you completely and wholeheartedly. Your mate is the second part of your soul."
She smiles slightly, hugging her knees to her chest as she takes it all in. “So, I have a choice after all? What happens if I don't accept it? What happens if I refuse all of this? What happens to us?"
“I’ll still be here,” I say quietly. My eyes never leave her face. I can feel my wolf fighting to reach out the moment she said the word refuse, and I'll be damned if he thinks now is the time to try to convince her to let him mark what is his. Territorial bastard.
“Maybe if you refuse, the bond may fade. But Jas, I won’t—I see now what is true.”
She sets her mug down next to mine and inches closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. I allow her scent and her touch to flood my senses and send me into overdrive. "Can I ask you something?” she asks after a moment, uncertainty in her voice.
“Always.”
“What does it feel like…for you? The bond?”
“It feels like you’re...everywhere. You don’t take my breath, you become it—that is how you ruin me."
She sighs. “And when I'm happy?”
I pull away slowly, taking her chin in my hand. My gaze falls to her mouth as her lips part.
“When you’re happy—” I say. “It feels like coming home.”
She stills. I can't hear anything but her heartbeat. It drowns out the rain and my own breathing. The feel of it spikes through the bond, and the scent of her sudden arousal has my wolf utterly silent. Waiting impatiently.
I should look away, pull away, and remove my hand from her face before my wolf loses his shit, but I can't. My thumb brushes over her bottom lip. She leans into my hand, and a low, deep rumbling sound spills from my chest.
I let go, her body shifts, and she rests her head against me. My body aches and tenses as the urge to wrap my arms around her and drag her onto my lap threatens to consume me. I’m more terrified she might let me.
I hope she can feel how deeply I mean every word and how much she already means to me.