Chapter Six
“Ethan,” Jackson said, turning to his friend. “Let’s talk outside.”
Ethan nodded, his eyes leaving Hope, and he quickly hurried out of the kitchen, as if he couldn’t wait to get away from her.
How could a meeting that was supposed to be so happy turn to be just the opposite in only a matter of seconds?
Hope breathed deeply, her throat feeling tight as the weight of her situation crushed her from every side.
Hope appreciated Jackson’s timely intervention.
She was so frustrated with Ethan’s blatant lack of consideration that she wanted to lash out at him.
She would’ve hated herself for snapping and giving in to her emotions like that.
As the men exited the kitchen, she took a moment to compose herself and think of what strategy to take.
Ethan didn’t want her as a wife. Even when she’d heard Jackson suggest she could help with the chores, Ethan had still rejected her.
She had arrived in Montana with a measure of confidence at the prospect of becoming a new wife, but Ethan’s utter dismissal left her feeling completely useless.
She felt tears threaten to break through again, and she pushed herself up and out of her chair.
She would not cry anymore, not in front of these men who likely already thought her pathetic and unruly. She clenched her fists, trying to think of who she could reach out to for help. She had no Pa, and Daniel wouldn’t be able to do anything. She thought of him with a pang of guilt.
‘If only I’d never left you,’ she thought, but immediately shook it off. If Daniel had just been the brother she had needed him to be in the first place, she wouldn’t be stranded in a strange man’s home with nowhere to go.
A loud cough that made her jolt with fright broke out in a room close by.
It was the kind of cough that sounded like the person was drowning in liquid.
The coughing continued in between desperate gasps for air.
Hope quickly crossed the room, leaning through the doorway of the kitchen.
She felt she should go to the poor woman and help her, but was unsure how the men would take her intruding into family affairs.
Ethan burst back into the house at that moment, rushing into his sister’s room.
She heard him wring out a wet cloth and speak soothingly to the young woman.
Hope gripped the doorframe as she listened, fresh tears forming in her eyes.
When the woman tried to answer, her voice was so young and weak that Hope shivered with worry.
Minutes before, she had wanted to hurt Ethan, but now she wanted to do nothing more than to help him. She had nursed her own Ma and Pa until their deaths, and she knew how terrifying every cough and groan could be.
“Please, Ma,” Hope had begged while gripping her mother’s icy fingers with her own. “Fight!”
“I… can’t,” her Ma had wheezed in between weak breaths.
At the end, her mother had been so slight there was almost nothing to her as she lay in her bed.
“I need you,” Hope had cried to her mother, feeling powerless to do anything else.
She had only been twelve at the time. Looking back, she wished she had been wise enough to soothe her mother’s pain in her dying moments, but instead Hope had drained her.
“You’re a strong girl,” her ma had tried to assure her.
“I’m not, Ma,” Hope wept on her Ma’s shoulder. “Please stay with me.”
“Now,” her Ma had whispered against her cheek, “this is what I want you to do. Look after your Pa for me.”
“Ma, please-”
“Shh,” her mother had whispered, weakly stroking Hope’s hair. “Your brother…he needs you. He’s not strong like you are.”
“I’m not strong, Ma-”
“Listen, Hope,” she had rasped, taking a few seconds to recover. “I want you to take the money in my hat box,” she said, the words coming slower and slower. “Don’t tell anyone. It’s yours.”
“But-”
“You’ll know when you need it, Hope,” her mother said, her cold, dry lips pressing against Hope’s forehead. “I love you, my girl.”
Hope knew in that moment that the life had truly faded from her mother’s body.
She had gripped onto her, crying desperately for God to stop her mother’s death, to heal her, but that prayer had not been answered.
Instead, God had given her the strength to get up and step into her Ma’s role.
She had taken over all the house chores, including cooking and caring for the animals.
Her Pa had melted away, his will to live fading without their Ma.
When he had developed a cough a year later, Hope had prepared herself.
She remembered the day she had held her father’s hand in hers and whispered goodbye.
She had not prayed for God to heal him. Rather, she had asked for God to heal her brother.
As if reading her thoughts, her father had said his parting words.
“Look after your brother, dear girl,” was all he’d said at his death.
Daniel had fallen apart after Pa’s death, the weight of being the head of the family too much to bear. She had made all the funeral arrangements herself, selling off some of their livestock to pay for everything. Looking back, Hope realized there had never been anyone to look after her.
Perhaps that was why Ethan’s broken promise had affected her so violently. She had placed her hope in him, a man who had said he would take a vow to care for her until ‘death did they part’. But it was not to be.
Finally, the coughing from the other room eased and Ethan’s desperate whispers stopped.
Hope felt her rage at him drain away when she saw the creases of worry in his expression as he entered the kitchen again.
He carried a cup to the washbasin to clean it.
She knew how those seemingly meaningless acts could give a person the strength to continue when they felt powerless to do anything else to save their loved one.
“What’s her name?” Hope asked quietly, summoning the strength to speak.
Ethan cleared his throat. “Clara. She’s finally asleep again. The coughing leaves her…”
“Exhausted,” Hope completed his sentence. “They can’t sleep at night.”
Ethan nodded. “I sit up with her so she’s not alone.”
Hope remembered doing the same for her parents. The long hours alone would render her almost mad, but then the sun would rise and she would realize they had all lived another day.
“You’re a good brother,” she told him. She wondered what her life would’ve been like had Daniel been such a brother for her. It didn’t matter, though, as neither Daniel nor Ethan were to be in her life.
Ethan was quiet. He turned to face her and cleared his throat again. She could tell by the way his eyes avoided hers that this was the end. “Hope,” he said, “I’m truly sorry. I hope that you can understand why I can’t marry you. My sister needs me.”
“I could help,” Hope offered, knowing her efforts were futile.
Ethan shook his head, his eyes on his shoes. “No. It’s decided. I will pay you the money you need to return to Kansas.”
Even though she had been expecting this, his words still stung like she had been whipped. It crushed any remaining hope she had clung to. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to faint or scream, but what was the point of disturbing Ethan and poor Clara when they had their own suffering to deal with?
Jackson walked into the kitchen, and Hope could feel his eyes on her. While he had seemed genuinely irritated with his friend for abandoning her, Hope was still not Jackson’s problem. There was no point talking back and forth when neither one of them was willing to help her.
“I appreciate the offer to pay for my return, but I don’t want it,” Hope said firmly. She was determined to leave peacefully, but then Ethan opened his mouth again.
“Be reasonable,” Ethan said calmly, which only caused her frustration to grow even more. “You can go back to your life in Dodge City. You’re a beautiful girl, and I’m sure many men want to marry you.”
“I don’t have a life in Dodge City!” Hope informed him, her voice raw with emotion.
“You have no idea, Ethan, what I left behind to accept your offer!” She took a breath, her eyes stinging with tears that she forced away with the back of her hand.
“I have nothing waiting for me there. You will send me to ruin!”
She hadn’t meant to explode again, but Ethan’s careless words had cut right to the heart of her predicament. She had nothing.
“Hope,” Ethan pleaded, dragging his hands through his curly hair. “I’m so sorry. I honestly don’t know how to help you.”
The house echoed with another violent cough from Ethan’s sister that silenced any further argument.
He gave Hope a desperate look before darting out of the kitchen to assist her.
Hope could feel sympathy for Ethan, but not so much that she would willingly accept the life of a woman on the street with no one to speak for her.
She shook her head, refusing that outcome. There was always a way. Growing up without parents or anybody stable to care for her, she had learned that if she pushed hard enough, there would always be a way. Even if that way had nothing to do with Ethan Blake.
“Please,” she attempted to say as she turned to Jackson, her mouth forming the word but her voice failing her.
Jackson looked uncomfortable at her unspoken plea, his eyes darting away from hers. He opened his mouth to say something and Hope held her breath, but Jackson seemed to wrestle with himself before shaking his head at her briefly. Hope felt her shoulders sag as she finally accepted defeat.
“I’ll take you back to Virginia City,” he said quietly, his voice as unyielding as stone. “We’ll pay for your boarding until we can figure out a solution.”
“You’re taking me back there?” Hope reaffirmed, her mind racing at this new turn of events.
Jackson nodded. “I’ll explain everything to the organizer. He’ll let you stay until Ethan and I can come up with something better. I just need time to think.”
Hope swallowed hard. She had fought, but the outcome was to be the same. She would not be marrying Ethan, and this glimpse of a life in the wild beauty of Madison Valley was not to be anything more than a fleeting moment that teased her before flitting off like a butterfly in spring.
“Thank you,” she managed gruffly, walking out of the house that was not to be hers.
Hope knew she had just over an hour on Jackson’s wagon to figure out where her new home and life would be.