Chapter Nineteen
Jackson picked up the tin box that lived in the pantry and realized immediately that it was too light.
He glanced over his shoulder to make sure he was alone in the kitchen before opening it up.
An eyebrow shot upwards, and he glared at the contents, a sinking feeling forming in the base of his stomach.
“What are you looking for?” Hope asked as she walked into the kitchen.
Jackson thumped his head on the doorframe as he startled at the sound of her voice.
“Nothing,” Jackson said hurriedly. “I was just making a list of supplies we need for the house.”
Hope nodded, though her eyes didn’t leave him.
Things had been tense, to say the least, since their argument on the porch two nights before.
He hadn’t expected Hope to react so explosively to his caution about Daniel.
He’d thought she would’ve welcomed his offer to commiserate, since she’d had to deal with her brother on her own for far too long.
The truth was, Daniel was likeable enough.
He had a certain amount of humor and charm that would endear him to anyone, but it was that same charm and affability that made Jackson mistrust him.
He found it difficult to read Daniel, like the kind of person who could rob you while distracting you with a smile.
“I made a list already,” Hope said, pointing to the table.
Jackson collected it and tried to appear like he was perusing the items, though his mind was on Hope. He hadn’t known how to ease the tension between them, especially as Hope had shown no desire to apologize to him.
He couldn’t see how he was in the wrong. All he’d tried to do was help her. He was still stunned at her anger, which had seemed to come out of nowhere to him. That was why he’d never wanted a wife. He found people hard enough to understand in general, but with a woman, he was completely lost.
“Is something wrong?” Hope’s question cut into his thoughts.
“Hmm?”
She had a hand on her hip, and her hazel eyes were fixed on him suspiciously. “You’ve been staring at that list for five minutes without saying a word.”
Jackson folded it up and shoved it in his pocket. “Everything is fine.”
“Something tells me it’s not,” Hope said, stepping closer.
Jackson avoided meeting her gaze. “Everything is on the list.”
“You know I’m not talking about the list,” Hope said.
She stood so close he could see the golden flecks in her eyes and the crease of a frown across her brow. It was an intimidating scowl, and he found himself taking a step backwards.
“Then what are you asking about?” Jackson asked weakly.
“You told me to be wary,” Hope reminded him, folding her arms across her chest.
Jackson opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.
He felt as if he was being cornered by a hungry wolf that came creeping out of the snow looking for an easy meal.
Even so, telling her that money was missing from the pantry store would do no good.
It was only a small amount, but it would be enough to upset her again.
“Now, Hope, I’m not sure I know what you mean,” he said, walking away from her.
He heard her sigh and knew that she was genuinely distressed.
“I heard you shaking the tin box,” Hope said. “I know that’s where you keep money for kitchen supplies.”
“Hope, I was just checking-”
“And?” she asked, her lips pressed together.
It was then that he saw the desperation in her tired eyes, and he felt his resolve shatter. He had to tell her the truth, even if it meant another lashing from her.
“I don’t want to make you angry, Hope,” he began, circling around the table like she was a bear he was trying to keep a safe distance from.
Annoyance flicked across her features.
“There is money missing from the box,” he finally admitted with a defeated sigh. “Not a lot, but some.”
He could see the immediate, crushing effect his words had on Hope. Her face paled rapidly, as if the life was draining out of her. Her strong frame wilted like a parched flower on a hot day, and she sagged into a chair just as Jackson leapt over to assist her.
“Daniel,” he heard her whisper under her breath. She formed a fist and tapped it gently against the tabletop. “Jackson, I’m sorry. You were right about still being wary of Daniel.”
The sight of her so broken tore through Jackson, and he immediately regretted saying anything.
It was only a small amount of money, and Daniel probably thought it was okay to take some since it was in such a public space.
He also had needs, and since Jackson had not actually paid him in physical money so far, could he really blame Daniel?
“Now really Hope, I could’ve asked Daniel if there was anything he needed,” Jackson said. “He’s been here a while, and he might’ve wanted to buy something.”
“He should’ve asked,” Hope pointed out flatly as she quickly wiped away the tears that had formed.
Jackson quietly berated himself for telling her, because the pain in her expression that followed was too much to bear.
“You’re right, Hope,” Jackson said, taking her by the arm and helping her to stand. “Making excuses for him won’t work.”
“It was bound to happen. I should never have expected him to change so quickly,” Hope sighed.
“This is just a little setback,” Jackson tried to reason hopefully.
“I’ve been waiting years for him to change!” Hope snapped before pressing a hand to her mouth.
Jackson swallowed. Only now did he realize how unfair he’d been.
He’d overlooked everything Hope had suffered because of Daniel, offering her solutions as though it was as easy as fixing a fence.
Stealing a little money from the pantry was nothing to him, but for her it was another crushing defeat, one that could only lead to worse situations.
“Hope, I’m so sorry.” He took her hand and enfolded it in both of his. “I don’t know the full extent of what you’ve been through.”
Hope looked up at him, surprise lighting up her eyes.
“But if you’ll just tell me,” he added, holding her hands to his chest, “I can try to be there more for you.”
“Why would you want to be?” she asked, her voice croaky. “I bear some blame for Daniel. I’m the reason he’s here.”
“In what way?” Jackson asked with a frown. He couldn’t understand how Hope could be to blame for any of Daniel’s poor life choices.
“It wasn’t fair that I became his responsibility at such a young age,” Hope replied. “It was too much trouble to care for me.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Jackson said with a shake of his head. “You’re so hardworking.”
“I pushed Daniel to find work,” Hope admitted, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“He was already worried, and I made him go out. He was desperate,” Hope continued, breaking off for a moment as her voice hitched.
She breathed for a few seconds, clearly struggling to find the words.
“I didn’t see how bad things were until it was too late.
And then…” she paused again, lowering her gaze, “I ran away from him!”
“Hope, he didn’t tell you either,” Jackson pointed out. “And you were left to face the same situation, but you didn’t turn to cards and drink.”
Hope closed her eyes and shook her head. “Of course not, but I’ve got more strength in me than he does.”
“Hope,” Jackson said, squeezing her hand. He couldn’t bear how hard she was on herself. “Listen to yourself. You made your choices to survive, just as he did. The difference is your choices never hurt anyone.”
“I ran here and it ended up hurting you,” Hope muttered, looking down so that her curls hid her expression. “I’ve been nothing but a burden since I got here.”
“That’s not true,” Jackson stated firmly. The fact that she believed her words to be true hurt even more. “Hope, I’m mighty glad you came,” he said in an effort to comfort her.
“You didn’t want a wife, but you were forced to take me on,” Hope cried. “And now my brother... It’s too much!” She withdrew her hand and tried to turn away from him.
“Hope,” Jackson said softly, his heart in pieces at her words.
Because of her tough exterior, Jackson had thought she had some measure of self-worth.
To know she had such a lowly view of herself despite all she was came as a shock.
“Is that what you really think?” he asked, shaking his head.
“You’re no burden, Hope,” Jackson said, drawing her into an embrace.
To his surprise, Hope didn’t resist. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her and hold her.
He felt the gentle shake of her shoulders as she cried, and finally understood the intensity of her reaction on the porch.
She was carrying a load too heavy to bear, yet she had done it alone for so long she didn’t know how to let go.
His telling her what to do had been belittling to her and her situation.
“Yes, I didn’t plan to have a wife,” Jackson said, “but now that you’re here, I can’t imagine the ranch without you, Hope. That’s the truth of the matter.”
There was another little sob, and he felt her tears soak through the flannel of his shirt. He held her tighter, again feeling the strong desire to protect her, even if it was from herself.
“It would be better if we left,” Hope said, “though it breaks my heart.”
“Why would it break your heart?” Jackson asked.
“Because I love… I love it here,” Hope whispered, her cheek still resting against his chest.
Her words lifted Jackson’s heart more than he ever could’ve imagined, to hear that she had come to love the ranch as he did.
He wondered if her words included more than just the ranch, but Jackson shook away any further thought of that.
His feelings didn’t matter in this moment.
He had promised Hope that he would support her, and that’s what his priority needed to be.
“Hope,” he said, slowly drawing her away from him. “Here is what we will do. You and Daniel are not going anywhere. We will help him through this, together.”
Hope frowned and looked as if she was about to protest.
“I’ll talk to him, Hope,” Jackson said. “We won’t just look the other way. We’ll see it put right.”
Hope nodded, a small smile returning to her lips. “I’d appreciate that, Jackson. Thank you.”
He wanted to hold her again and tell her everything would be alright, but he stepped back instead. He needed to find Daniel quickly so he could set Hope’s nerves at ease.
***
Daniel was knelt in the small holding pen beside a weak lamb, one hand steadying the animal while the other tipped a bottle of warm milk into its mouth. Jackson could hear Daniel murmuring soft encouragement as he checked the lamb's breathing and brushed bits of straw from its wool.
“How’s Lamb holding up?” Jackson asked, drawing it gently into his own lap and taking over the feeding.
“His ma’s still rejecting him,” Daniel answered, “but I think he’ll pull through with enough care.”
Jackson nodded. Despite Daniel’s less desirable traits, he certainly had an eye for sheep. He noticed sick ones almost immediately, and already had two lambs he was carefully nursing. It helped Jackson remember that the young man did seem like he could be redeemed.
“Is something wrong?” Daniel asked when he noticed Jackson staring at him.
Jackson took a breath, trying to find a way to be both direct and tactful. “You’re doing a good job with the lambs. Though I can’t say you’re doing the same with your sister.”
Daniel’s eyes widened in surprise. “What do you mean by that?” he asked.
Jackson beat down his own annoyance at the reply. Daniel’s wide, curiously blinking eyes had likely gotten him out of a lot of trouble, but it would not work on Jackson.
“You notice a sick lamb a mile away,” Jackson pointed out, “but not when your own sister is hurting.”
“What’s wrong with Hope?” Daniel asked, clearly confused by Jackson’s pointed statements.
“You stole money,” Jackson said plainly.
“Jackson, you must know, I-” Daniel began, but Jackson held up a hand.
“I don’t care why or how much,” Jackson said. “I only care about how it affects Hope, my wife. She blames herself every time you do something wrong.”
“Why would she?” Daniel asked, clearly stunned.
“Because she feels responsible for you. Hope cares for everyone to the point of hurting herself, and you don’t make it any easier on her,” Jackson said.
“I’m supposed to look after Hope,” Daniel muttered, “not the other way around.”
“She also blames herself for leaving you in Dodge City,” Jackson explained.
“That wasn’t her fault either,” Daniel said, sighing. “She asked me to come with her, but I thought I knew better.”
Jackson could see he was slowly getting through to Daniel. He added, “Whatever happened is in the past now. What’s important is that Hope feels safe and happy in her own home.”
It took Daniel a minute but he finally nodded. “I agree.”
Jackson could see Daniel truly cared about Hope, and he could work with that.
“So if you’re willing to work, along with keeping Hope happy, then you can stay here,” Jackson informed him.
“Thank you, I appreciate-”
“But if you keep bringing trouble down on Hope, then I won’t stand for it, Daniel. You and I will settle the matter ourselves.”
“No, no.” Daniel shook his head, his eyes wide at the curtness of Jackson’s tone. He was suddenly as meek as a lamb. “You’re right, of course,” he agreed with a nod, eager to impress. “I’ll apologize to Hope, and I won’t do anything-”
“We both know you will.” Jackson cut him off again, fixing him with a stern look. “All I ask is that you come to me first before trying to handle matters yourself.”
Daniel frowned, seeming to wrestle with this, but Jackson’s stare broke him down. Daniel sighed. “Fine, I will.”
“Promise me,” Jackson insisted, knowing how easily Daniel could back out of an agreement.
Daniel’s shoulders slumped forward and he nodded. “I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve already caused.”
“Save your apologies for Hope.”
“I’ll go find her now,” Daniel said, turning away and scampering off like a lost sheep that had finally returned to the pen.
Jackson only hoped he had been stern enough to knock some sense into Daniel’s head. The look of remorse on his face was not enough. Daniel had to follow through with his actions.
His mind drifted back to Hope and how forlorn she had been in the kitchen. Jackson had to bring the light back to Hope’s eyes at any cost. He felt it his duty as her husband. He shook his head. He had to be able to do more for her than mere duty.