Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
T he heavy tumbler slipped through his fingers and smashed on the hard floor with a loud crash, sending shards spinning across the tiles. Everyone in the restaurant looked his way.
Irritated with himself, he snatched the brush from Antonio who’d come hurrying to his aid.
‘I’ll do it,’ he snarled in Portuguese, to which Antonio responded with resignation, ‘Suit yourself.’
Felipe knew he was taking his foul mood out on the staff and that his father would have bawled him out for such poor behaviour.
He really didn’t know what was wrong with him– or rather, he did, but he was in denial and refusing to accept it.
Falling in love with Rebecca had been a mistake, a huge mistake.
And as soon as she and that wilting Will disappeared from under his nose, he could get on with his life.
Deciding he’d get no peace, he left the restaurant, brushing by Katerina, just back from school, who asked in his wake, ‘Which snake bit his ass?’ On another occasion her inappropriately adult words might have made him laugh, but he was too out of sorts tonight.
He kept walking down through the gardens, but tonight the calming fragrance of the lavender and the gentle hum of the bees had no effect.
When Cristina called after him, he ignored her and kept up his pace, not stopping until he reached the beach and the water’s edge.
It took ten minutes listening to the whoosh and roll of the sea before the rhythmic in and out soothed the ragged edges of his soul like a balm.
After an hour’s walk along the damp sand with the sound of the sea in his ears, he retraced his steps back up the hill and returned to the hotel bar. He ordered a glass of red wine, deciding that wine was misery’s best company and knowing that he might regret it in the morning.
Halfway through his second glass, he was aware of the chair opposite him being pulled out. He looked up to find Ana slipping into the seat. He stared at her morosely as she ordered a glass of white wine from the waiter.
‘I thought I’d find you here.’
He took a sip of wine, using the action to avoid saying anything.
‘I’m not used to seeing you like this,’ said Ana in her quiet, calm way.
‘And what way is this?’ he asked, rather enjoying his bad mood.
‘Out of control, angry and in love.’
He rolled his eyes even though everything she said was true.
‘For all our sakes you need to tell Rebecca how you feel.’
‘Not you as well.’
‘Yes, but this is coming from my concern for you, not the novelty of acquiring another family member.’ Her eyes twinkled a little.
‘No one is acquiring anything. Rebecca is going back to England.’ He knew she was referring to her younger sisters, who seemed to have taken a shine to Rebecca– although how could he blame them?
‘Only because you’re letting her.’
‘It’s not a question of letting her. She’s her own person. I have to respect that and she’s in love with Will.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Rebecca doesn’t want someone like me. She wants someone like Will. Steady, dependable and reliable.’
Ana snorted. ‘And you’re none of those things.’
He shrugged.
‘Only because you let people think that. Deliberately. Except Rebecca knows you. She’s seen how you look after us all, how hard you work to pretend that you’re not running everything and taking on all the responsibility. And you shouldn’t have to take it all on.’
He eyed her and she lifted her chin, her smile full of chagrin. ‘We talked, me and your m?e .’ She nudged his leg under the table. ‘We owe you an apology.’
‘For what?’ he asked, feeling weary.
‘Because we’ve leaned too hard for too long on you.
All of us, me and the girls, Inês and Sara, we need to step up.
The girls could do more and Tia Maria and I are both more than capable of negotiating and dealing with suppliers, buying new butter dishes and planning the menus.
You shouldn’t have to oversee everything.
It’s a family business and we all benefit.
You’ve put everything in place and now that everything is running smoothly, you should be handing over some of your responsibilities.
We forget that you gave up your life for this. ’
He opened his mouth, but Ana gave him an uncharacteristic steely glare and held up a hand.
‘Hear me out. Your m?e and I need to step up. And so does Inês. She’s always complaining about what you do, now it’s her turn to make some decisions.
I suggest you employ a masseur for the wellness centre and let Inês take on the finance work.
She did bookkeeping at college.’ Ana threw him a mischievous smile.
‘Call her Financial Director and she’ll bite your hand off.
You know she offered Rebecca the job of Retreat Organiser. ’
‘She turned it down,’ said Felipe wearily.
There was no hope now. Rather than admit it to Ana, he deflected, which had always been his best tool.
‘Sounds like I should be calling you Managing Director.’
‘No, thank you. You can keep that title but you can offload a lot of the burden. We’re not children anymore and nor are we lost in grief. It’s time for us to give you back your freedom. You sacrificed so much for us– especially the cycling. You’ve done enough.’
Felipe took in a long breath, feeling some of the tension in his muscles easing.
‘Thanks, Ana. I realise it was all starting to get to me.’
‘And now you have no excuse not to go after Rebecca.’
‘I never had an excuse.’
‘Of course you did. You told yourself you had enough on your plate– you didn’t need another responsibility. Except Rebecca isn’t a responsibility. She’s her own person. Not like the other girls you’ve been out with. She’ll never be dependent on you. You’re not being fair to her.’
‘How so?’
‘You’re not giving her a choice. She wants that job, but how can she make the right decision if she doesn’t know that you could be part of the package too? She’d never forgive you for treating her like she’s not brave enough to make an informed choice.’
Felipe smiled at that. No, she wouldn’t. She was the most independent and self-contained woman he’d ever met.
‘So what are you going to do?’ asked Ana.
‘What I should have done the minute that idiot Will turned up. I’m going to fight for her. Tell her that I want her to stay… forever.’
‘You might want to tell Cristina that. I’m worried she’ll stage an intervention.’
‘She’ll be the first to know, once I’ve spoken to Rebecca.’