Chapter 41 #2
My body trembles, and he flattens his palm over one of my shoulder blades. “Relax your muscles, Taryn. I need to prepare you to take me. We’re in the shower, so this is going to be a little harder, but I’m not waiting any longer to claim every part of you.”
I nod frantically, nipping my bottom lip.
He slowly nudges it inside me, the intrusion and burn building the tears behind my eyes.
God, it hurts, but it did the first time.
The only thing keeping me sane is recalling how euphoric it felt the first time after I had finally adjusted to Cameron’s cock after he stretched me to fit him while Colten was buried in my pussy.
Once the vibrator feels like it’s fully inside me, he starts thrusting it in and out at a slow pace that has my delirious mind spinning and my legs trembling beneath me.
Water droplets from the spray glide down my face, and I lick my lips, realizing the salty taste on my tongue must be a mixture of the water blending with my tears.
“Oh, shit, Colten.” The pain starts morphing into pleasure, as my body heats to a temperature hotter than the shower and thick steam that lingers in the air.
He groans, reaching in front to cup one of my breasts as he starts to move the toy faster. I moan, dropping my head between my shoulders. I arch my back up, involuntarily pushing my ass up to chase more of the friction.
“Look at you,” he coos. “Such a good girl letting me get you ready to take my cock in your ass.”
“I need you inside me,” I breathe, craning my neck to peer at his handsome features. I don’t care how much it’s going to hurt—I want to feel everything.
My eyes track the movement of the water dripping over his pecs and the ridges of his abdomen. How he looks with tatted skin pulled tight over firm muscles and those piercing green eyes is enough to make me explode. But I can’t. Not yet.
“Fuck, I love it when you beg for me, baby. I’ll give you anything you want.”
His sincere and calm tone tells me he means that.
He removes the toy, and my body tenses at the loss.
But I know what’s coming next, and once his length is inside me, it’s going to hurt again before it’s euphoric.
He cleans the toy with soap quickly before he spits into his hand, grips his dick, and pumps it from base to tip a few times.
Then he’s nudging at my back entrance. I observe the way the veins in his arms protrude against his skin. I wet my lips.
The way his fingers flex on his length is mesmerizing. The way he runs his tongue along his top teeth before clenching his jaw, because he is trying to maintain control, is enough to heighten my pleasure.
He’s breathtaking.
“Take a deep breath, baby. I need you to let me all the way in.”
I think I let Colten all the way in a long time ago. Despite how badly I didn’t want to at the time.
Inhaling deeply, I relax into his arms as his hips push forward into my ass.
I grit my teeth and slam my eyes shut. It still burns, but not as badly now that he’s prepared me to take him.
He adjusts my hips and the way my leg is propped up on the bench, opening me up to him further.
Reaching in front of me, he swipes the toy across my clit, and I moan at the erotic feeling of my sensitive center being played with while he’s taking my ass.
He pushes the vibrator inside me, and I clench around him, releasing a sound that can’t be described as a moan or a whimper—it’s somewhere exquisitely in between.
I glance over my shoulder, watching the stunning man claim my body—my soul—in more ways than he already has.
“Just like that, baby. You’re doing so good for me,” he grunts in praise.
Between Colten thrusting the toy in and out of my pussy and his thick cock, he is filling me completely.
I feel him everywhere.
In my core.
He’s in my head.
He’s consuming my heart.
“Fuck,” he mutters. Using his free hand, he grips my ass with his fingers to open me wider. “Do you love how I can still give your pussy exactly what it needs while I fuck this tight ass?”
The pain dulls more, shifting into a kind of pleasure I’ve never experienced—one that’s heavy and intoxicating, tainting my bloodstream. “God, Colten. I’m going to come if you don’t stop saying things like that to me.”
Of course, he doesn’t stop. “Then come. Show me how much you love my cock, baby.”
His words fade, my cresting orgasm overtaking any thoughts swarming in my head.
“Fucking say it,” he demands. “Tell me you love my cock.”
My release hits me with a power that has my foot losing traction on the wet tile floor. My pussy throbs around the pink rabbit and his dick as my orgasm explodes, hauling me over the precipice.
Through the black fog overshadowing my vision and brain, my heart overtakes my mouth. “I love you,” I mutter breathlessly, struggling to come down from the high.
“Shit, Taryn,” he drawls.
Instantly, those words register to both of us, but his cock is already pulsing inside me—filling me with his hot release. I’m not sure if his orgasm started happening before or because I said that.
His motions still momentarily before his abdomen collapses on top of my back. Removing the vibrator and dropping it to the shower floor, both of his hands grip my waist. My heart crawls into my throat.
I didn’t mean to admit that out loud.
No. No. No!
Goddammit, Taryn.
Now, I wish my mouth was full of something other than my swift tongue. If he’d had my mouth occupied, too, those words would’ve had a better chance of emerging unintelligible.
He slips out of me as quickly as he retreats from the shower.
Colten snatches a towel from the metal bar on the wall, and I grab my own.
My quick steps hurry after him out of the bathroom and into his room.
He wraps the towel around himself, tucking in a corner to secure it around his hips.
We have barely been out of the shower for thirty seconds, so both of us are dripping on the wood flooring and area rug under his bed frame.
“Colten!” His shoulders stiffen. “Please talk to me,” I plead.
Tears burn behind my eyes, the tip of my nose tingling with overwhelming emotion.
“You don’t have to say it back, I just—I just…
” I don’t know. It’s not untrue. I do. I love him, and I’ve felt it for weeks, but I didn’t think I’d admit it without thinking. And definitely not this soon.
“Taryn…” He pulls his fingers through his wet hair, still facing away from me. But the moment his hand drops, so does the topic I know without a doubt he wants to avoid.
Just turn around, please.
I don’t know why I care so much, but I want him to face me—to fight it out with me instead of battling whatever is in his head like he always does.
Fight with me.
Yell at me.
Tell me you don’t love me.
Just don’t go through it alone because I know you always do it alone.
“Please,” I beg in a near whisper, the sound barely audible even to my own ears.
He lowers his head, his chest rising and falling in such a depressed manner that my heart smashes against my ribs, attempting to shatter them so it can impale itself.
Tears stream down my face, and I slam my eyes shut, my heart breaking. Doubts churn inside my head, demolishing anything positive and hopeful in their path.
“It wasn’t something I just said in the moment,” I admit. “I love all of you.” The hot streaks from my tears cool against my flushed cheeks.
He doesn’t answer me—the silence deafening.
Gasping in a shaky breath, I stare at the man who’s terrified of love. I can’t blame him. I know his past. “But I can’t hold on to the hope that you might someday say it back when there’s a chance you never will.”
I didn’t think his shoulders could slump any more than they are, but they do. I just poured my heart out into a puddle of vulnerability on his floor along with the water below my bare feet.
I stand timidly, waiting. Longing for him to say something. Anything. But he doesn’t.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I turn away from him, retreating to the bathroom, rapidly covering my exposed skin and fragile heart with the clothes I left on the floor.
When I walk out, he’s perched on the edge of his bed with his head resting in his hands while Rossco sits on the floor, peering up at him, concerned.
Colten doesn’t look at him either. He barely breathes.
But his complete silence speaks louder than any word could.
Message received.
Leaving him alone, I exit the house, leaving Rossco behind too. He’s an emotional support presence Colten might need more than me, so I open the door and step out into the chilly night.
Alone.
Despite the fresh air, it feels suffocating. And through the tears and blurry vision, everything around me creeps in full force. The walls are closing in, the pressure sitting on my chest like one of those bloated dead whales that wash up on the beach.
I can’t be here right now, so running back up the hill through the angry downpour, I run through the house, feeling heated gazes on me from the living room.
I just need a night to myself.
And it’s not going to be here.