31. Ari
Ari
Clara decides that the only cure for her hangover is retail therapy.
“Do you really want to go shopping?” I as her in a deliberately whiney voice. I hate shopping. Especially seeing as I have zero money at the moment.
“Please?” she asks, clasping her hands in front of her and giving me the look Ivan calls the “sad starving puppy”. She knows I can’t resist her when she does it.
“Fine,” I say. “But you owe me a Slim Chickens.”
“Deal.”
We head to Princesshay Shopping Centre. Despite most of it being open to the elements, Princesshay’s designation as a “shopping centre” means it counts as a single building in terms of vampire rules so there’s no risk of us having to float around outside a shop to be granted entry, plus it has the added bonus of being the home of Slim Chickens for the best fried chicken in the city.
But it does mean that we have to shop in River Island and Zara.
Luckily for Clara, she’s the kind of person who looks stunning in anything she tries.
Jeans and a casual shirt? Looks like a model.
Joggers and a hoodie? Looks like a model.
New Look skirt and a Bardot top? You’ve guessed it, looks like a model.
“Are you sure this is nice?” she asks as we hole up in one of the Zara changing rooms to try some stuff on. Obviously she can’t see herself in the multitude of mirrors, so I’m her eyes and the ultimate arbiter of approval.
“You look stunning.”
“Hmmm.” She smoothes her hands across her hips. “You’re sure it isn’t too… stripy?”
The skirt she’s wearing is colour block stripes, so it is definitely “stripy”, but how do you know if something is “too stripy”.
It isn’t like there’s a rulebook for some of this stuff.
“It’s nice,” I tell her. Because it is, and it looks great on her.
And I’m starting to get a teeny bit bored of watching her try on outfit after outfit when I can’t afford to buy anything myself and it’s making me feel guilty that I’m a whiny little bitch who can’t just suck it up and always has to make things about herself.
“Hmmm.” She takes the skirt off and hangs it up. “I’ll put it in the maybe pile.”
The “maybe pile” is already huge and she’ll probably want to try everything on a second time before we get to go home. I really wish I’d said no to this trip. But she has promised me Slim Chickens can be the next stop, so that might perk me up.
“Daddy had a whole load of questions about Brody,” she says as she pulls on a leather mini skirt.
“Really?”
She ducks back into the cubicle to find a top to try with the skirt.” Yeah. He wanted to know how you met and how long you’d been dating.”
“But we aren’t dating,” I reply, raising my voice slightly to make sure she hears me.
Clara’s head pokes out of the curtain to the cubicle. “Really?” Her eyebrows are raised so high I’m surprised they’re still attached.
“Really,” I promise. “You know I’m not interested in a relationship.”
“Yeah, but…”
“No. Nothing has happened. Not since… you know, Wales.” I don’t mention the briefest of kisses last night.
Or the way he looked at me before I closed the distance between us.
I was drunk. That’s all. It was a moment of madness, never to be repeated.
It isn’t like I want to kiss him again, to see what there really could be between the two of us.
But I won’t. I can’t. I couldn’t bear it if I found love and then had to lose it all. I’m not strong enough.
“I think you’d be good together,” she says quietly. “He’s a sweetheart and you deserve someone special.” The final words are slightly muffled in the soft wool of the cashmere-touch jumper she’s pulling over her head.
She’s wrong. I don’t deserve someone special. And even if I did… it wouldn’t be a gift. It would be a curse. Hmm, perhaps I do deserve that after all.
“Daddy didn’t believe you were dating either,” she says with a casual flippancy.
“Are you using your father to fish for more information?”
“No.” She pauses to pose for me a few times in the leather skirt and new jumper combo.
The skirt is short and tan coloured and makes her legs look like they go on for miles.
The jumper is pale blue and slightly oversized so she’s folded the bottom under.
The whole ensemble is gorgeous. I give her a firm both thumbs up. “For the maybe pile?” she asks.
“This is a definite instant win.”
“Cool.” She grins at me. “To the next option,” she declares, ducking back inside the cubicle. “Daddy still wants you to marry Benedict.”
Her voice is muffled, she’s probably taking off the jumper, and for a moment I wonder if I misheard her.
Benedict’s name, even now after all these years, still makes my stomach clench and my palms itch in a way I can’t explain.
It’s like my insides are desperate to escape my skin, to crawl as far from the threat of him as possible.
Clara steps out of the changing room, this time in a cute cord pinafore dress, just her lacy bralette on underneath.
She should look like a school kid who can’t dress herself properly.
She doesn’t. She looks sexy as hell. “Hey,” she says when she sees the expression on my face.
“You’re not still thinking about him, are you? ”
I don’t have the heart to tell her that of course I am, she literally just brought him up.
But that isn’t what she means. She means if I’m still letting him get in my head, to mess around with me.
“It’s OK,” I reassure her. I don’t want to talk about him.
My best defence is to imagine he doesn’t exist, that he is no one.
“Daddy thinks—”
But I cut her off. “Do we have to talk about what your father thinks about my love life?”
She puts her hands up in front of her. “Sorry. I just… It’s…”
“Just spit it out, Clara.”
“Sorry.”
I roll my eyes at her second apology. She does this. Leads a conversation somewhere and then apologises for doing so, like that makes it all better. “There’s obviously something you want to say. So just say it. Please.”
She stares at me for a few seconds. I don’t know if she’s trying to find the right words or if it’s for dramatic effect. “You know what Daddy wants. And you know that Daddy tends to get what he wants and to hell with the consequences or what he has to do to make that a reality.”
I nod. I mean, I know her father is a ruthless bully who doesn’t give a shit about anyone, especially people who get in the way of his plans.
“So I think you need to be extra careful with Brody. When you’re at Hele House that is. Don’t let Daddy think the two of you are together. Don’t give him a reason to try to tear you apart.”
“Well, that should be easy, seeing as we aren’t together.”
“And don’t, whatever you do, let him find out that Brody is human.”