Chapter 4 #2
Ugh, why am I even thinking about that rude, overbearing, thickheaded, sweet-and-thoughtful-in-his-own-way, arachnid-ass brute?
Ahmya gently patted Lacey’s shoulder, pulling her from her thoughts. “Hopefully the tea helps so you can get some rest.”
Forcing her hands down, Lacey offered Ahmya and Diego a smile. “Thank you, guys.”
Diego nodded. “I’ll be just below if you need me.”
Lacey’s smile fell when her friends stepped out. The small den felt suddenly empty, as quiet and isolated as the pod she’d slept in aboard the Somnium. As though the unexpected wave of loneliness wasn’t enough, she found herself without anything to distract her from the pain.
With a harsh, shaky exhalation, she clutched the towel-wrapped stone to her belly, willing the heat to suffuse her.
It was like her menstrual cycle was taking revenge after being denied for nearly a hundred and seventy years.
Lacey swept her gaze around the room. The sunlight was fading with the evening, and soon, her den would be dark save for the meager blue-green light of the fire.
Her eyes caught on the pile of silk rope on the floor. The rope Telok had used to tie her up.
Lacey scowled at it, but both the expression and her anger faltered quickly. Things hadn’t always been like this between them. What had changed?
When they’d first met, Telok had locked on to her. He’d been fascinated by her red hair and green eyes, had mimicked her words and gestures. And despite how scary he’d been, she’d found him…endearing.
Pain bloomed from her pelvis, spreading through her abdomen and up her spine. Lacey squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered as she lay down, holding the heated stone tight.
All this pain and it’s not even enough to keep me from thinking about him?
But the memories kept coming.
The days after she and the other humans had been awoken in their wrecked spacecraft had been fraught. Their worlds had literally changed, and not at all in the way they’d expected. Almost everything Lacey had known had been…gone.
And while in the midst of processing all that, they’d been introduced to an intelligent alien species and told that they needed to abandon the one familiar thing remaining to them—the piece of the Somnium that had brought them to this planet.
The rainy season would flood the pit and their ship, turning their sanctuary into a watery tomb.
Worse, the ire of a raging, narcissistic tyrant, Zurvashi, the queen of Takarahl, had shrunk their timeline so much that making adequate preparations seemed impossible.
Despite all the stress, confusion, and fear, Lacey had loved that time.
She’d loved exploring a new planet, speaking to real-life aliens, and learning to survive in the wilds.
Even with all the danger and hardship, she’d loved it.
The friendships she’d formed had been stronger and deeper than anything she’d ever imagined.
Her tribe, the vrix included, were more her family than any of her blood relatives had ever been. And she couldn’t lie to herself—Telok had been a big part of all that.
He’d shown quiet delight every time he was paired with her during their forays and lessons.
She’d ridden on his hindquarters many times as he climbed the steep walls of the pit.
As unnerving as the vrix had been to her at the time, those climbs had been almost thrilling.
And with Telok, she’d always felt safe and secure.
He’d been patient as he taught her how to track, how to forage, and how to hold, use, and throw a spear.
Without knowing her language, he’d praised her and shown her respect.
Hell, he’d even gone all Ghost on her in front of everyone.
She could still recall the solid heat of his chest as he’d pressed up against her back, could still recall the grasp of his big, clawed hands on her hips and the strength in his arms as he’d adjusted her grip on her spear, his body all but surrounding her.
And she’d never forget the low trill he’d emitted when he’d touched his face to her head and smelled her hair.
That sound had vibrated from his chest straight into her, sending a rush of confusing yet pleasurable sensations through her body that had left her stunned.
Lacey groaned and rolled onto her side, curling up around the heated stone.
Those same confusing, pleasurable sensations had been coursing through her when he’d braced himself over her here in her bed earlier today.
Her pain, embarrassment, and anger had vanished as she and Telok had stared into each other’s eyes, as they’d breathed each other in, as they’d existed so close they were nearly one.
She shouldn’t have been feeling those things, not after the way Telok had treated her all these months.
But there was no controlling it. There was no forgetting how he’d protected her while they’d fled the mad bitch queen.
No forgetting how desperate he’d been to save her from the eel-like muckstalkers in the swamp.
No forgetting the way he’d cradled her securely in his arms afterward, or how he’d trembled as he’d pressed his headcrest to her forehead.
She hadn’t known it at the time, but that simple gesture was an ultimate sign of affection and trust amongst the vrix, one they did not make lightly.
But Telok had changed after Zurvashi’s demise, like a switch had been flipped inside him. Now, he acted as though none of what he and Lacey had shared had meant anything. He kept his distance, remained detached, and seemed revolted whenever they touched.
Sheevix’ven, vi’jatai.
Be silent, little thorn.
Was that really how he thought of her? Just as a thorn in his side, a tiny irritation?
Tears stung her eyes, and a quiet cry escaped her.
Lacey knew what it felt like to be abandoned, to be discarded and disdained. Her own parents hadn’t even wanted her. Telok didn’t owe her anything, but the way he’d been treating her had reopened those old wounds.
During the short time she’d known him, he’d burrowed his way into her heart, and he’d dug out a much larger hole than she’d realized.
When had things gone so wrong between them? What had she said or done to make him so cold?
Was she that unlovable?
What’s wrong with me?