ARIA
Skyler leans up from the porch swing. “All right, are they gone?”
I look toward the barn, and they’re all standing by the doors, huddled and talking. “Yeah, they’re by the barn.”
She pops to her feet easily. “Good. Let’s get to work.”
Bree puts her hands up. “Now wait a minute. You’re supposed to be resting. Zach’s orders.”
Skyler points a thumb over her shoulder. “Have you seen my brother’s house? It’s clean by cowboy standards, but it hasn’t had a woman’s touch, well, uh, since the last time we team-cleaned it. It’s time.”
I move toward Skyler. “You stay here. I’ll get to work inside.” Honestly, I’d prefer that. Because if I sit out here talking, I’m likely to have a breakdown right here, smack dab in the middle of this family gathering.
Skyler gasps. “No way am I going to be sitting around while you go inside and clean Ozzy’s house.”
I wave her off. “It’s fine. I promise.”
Lindsey stands up. “I’ll help her.” She points at Bree. “You said you can handle her, so good luck with that.”
Bree takes a deep breath. “Now, look, Skyler, you either sit here and sip your sweet tea or I’m going to go get your overprotective husband and tell on you.”
Skyler opens her mouth but closes it quickly. Being the youngest of five brothers has made her pretty feisty, but even she is not going to go against her husband’s wishes. “Ugh, fine.” She looks at me. “You don’t have to clean. I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
I pop a shoulder. “I don’t mind at all. Ozzy is one of the good ones.”
With that, I walk in the front door with Lindsey trailing behind me. I look around the house, and with the open concept, I’m able to see the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Everything is very tidy. I can see a little dust, but it’s really not bad. “This should be easy,” I tell Lindsey.
We find the cleaning supplies in the hall closet and get to work. I’m sweeping the floor when I see Lindsey looking up at me as she dusts the furniture. “What?” I ask her.
She gestures to me. “You okay?”
My eyes widen, and I get back to sweeping. “Yeah, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
She points to the broom. “Because I’m a little afraid of you with that thing. You’re sweeping with a lot of feeling.” She says it with a laugh, but I don’t miss the worry in her eyes.
I shrug. “I’m fine.”
Lindsey sets the duster down and looks at me. “Aria.”
I stop sweeping but don’t look at her.
She softens her voice. “We’re worried about you.”
I look at her and force a smile. “You don’t need to be.”
“Yes, we do.” She takes a step closer. “Skyler is worried. Bree is worried. I’m worried. We all know something is going on.”
I look down at the broom in my hands. “Penn and I are just having some problems.”
“I figured,” she says.
“We’ll work it out,” I say quickly because I need it to be true. “Every couple goes through things, right?”
“Right.” Lindsey nods, but she doesn’t look convinced. “But that doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone.”
I swallow hard and start sweeping again. “I’m not alone.”
“You’re acting like you are. I know I’m sort of new to the family, but I love you. You’re one of my best friends, and I hate to see you sad like this.”
The words hit harder than I expect, but I don’t say anything. I’m afraid if I do, the tears will start to fall.
Lindsey sighs. “I’m not trying to push. I just want you to know that if you need to talk, I’ll listen.”
I nod and whisper, “Thank you.”
The room goes quiet except for the broom moving across the floor, then Lindsey says, “You know Penn would never cheat on you.”
My head comes up fast. “What makes you say that?”
She gives me a look. “Aria, this is Whiskey Run. Everyone talks.”
Heat rushes into my face. I knew people at the hospital have been talking about Penn and Nurse Jenner’s lunch, but I had no idea that everyone is talking about it. Heck, that my sister-in-law would hear about it.
“I heard about Penn eating lunch with some nurse,” she says. “I’m not saying I know the details, and I’m not saying it didn’t hurt to hear it, because I’m sure it did. But it doesn’t mean anything.”
I let out a breath that sounds shaky even to me. Last night convinced me that he wouldn’t cheat on me, but now this morning, I’m second-guessing everything again. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
I stare at her.
Lindsey folds her arms over her chest. “Anyone and everyone knows Penn Brody loves you.”
My eyes sting, and I hate it. “Love isn’t always enough,” I whisper.
Her face falls a little. “No, it’s not. But it matters.”
I look toward the window, even though I can’t see the barn from here. “He’s hiding something from me.”
I wait for Lindsey to say something, but when she doesn’t, I keep going before I lose my nerve.
“He admitted it. He actually told me that there’s something, but he won’t tell me what it is.
So I’ve been left to guess.” I laugh once, but there’s nothing funny about it.
“And when your husband won’t tell you what he’s hiding, your mind goes to some pretty awful places. ”
“I get that,” she says quietly.
“I don’t want to think he’d cheat on me. I really don’t. But what else am I supposed to think when he keeps pulling away from me and won’t tell me why?”
Lindsey walks over and takes the broom from my hands before I can argue.
Then she hugs me. I stand here stiff for about two seconds before I fall into her arms.
“I’m scared,” I whisper.
“I know.”
“I don’t know what’s happening to us.”
Lindsey rubs my back. “Then make him tell you.”
I close my eyes. “I’ve tried.”
“Try again.”
I pull back and wipe under my eyes. “What if I don’t want to know?”
Her expression softens. “Then you probably already know it’s something big.”
I look away because she’s right. She hands the broom back to me and gives me a small smile. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think Penn is trying to hurt you.”
“That almost makes it worse,” I admit.
“Yeah,” she says. “Sometimes it does.”
I take a deep breath and force myself to nod. “Okay. Enough about me. We’re supposed to be cleaning.”
Lindsey smiles, but the worry doesn’t leave her face. “Fine. But I’m watching you with that broom.”
I laugh, even though it comes out weak. “Probably smart.”
She picks up the duster again, and for a few minutes, we work in silence.
But my mind is nowhere near Ozzy’s house. It’s with Penn in the barn, and whatever he’s hiding from me.
After this morning, I know it’s something big. Big enough that I’m questioning if I should stay or go. By the time Lindsey and I finish wiping down the kitchen, the house smells like lemon cleaner.
Ozzy’s house wasn’t dirty, so it didn’t take that long.
Lindsey and I carry the cleaning supplies back to the hall closet, and when we step onto the porch, Skyler is still on the swing with her feet propped up, looking annoyed about it.
Bree is sitting beside her and looking way too proud of herself.
Skyler points at her. “She threatened to call Zach three times.”
Bree shrugs. “And it worked.”
I laugh, and for the first time today, it’s a real laugh.
Before Skyler can argue, the sound of male voices comes from the barn.
I look out across the yard and see the men walking toward us.
Guy is wiping sweat from his forehead, Logan is laughing at something Miller said, and Zach is already looking straight at Skyler like he needs to make sure she hasn’t moved an inch.
Penn is with them, and my heart does that stupid thing it always does when I see him. Even when I’m mad at him, my body reacts.
His eyes find mine, and for a second, everything around us fades, but then I remember this morning. It’s like on instant replay in my head when I asked him if he no longer wanted to have kids with me and the way he paused. Pain rips through me just thinking about it, and I look away first.
Zach walks straight to Skyler and bends down in front of her. “Did you behave?”
Skyler rolls her eyes.
Bree smiles. “She behaved.”
Zach kisses Skyler’s forehead. “Good.”
Guy drops into one of the porch chairs with a groan. “I hope this family appreciates my sacrifice today.”
Ozzy walks up behind him. “You fixed two fence boards and complained for an hour.”
“That’s called emotional labor,” Guy says.
Miller laughs, and Lindsey goes to him, slipping under his arm when he holds it out for her.
I expect Penn to come to me, and a part of me wants him to, but another part is terrified he will.
Before either of us can move, a truck pulls up the driveway with pizza boxes stacked in the passenger seat. Ozzy steps off the porch and meets the driver.
Guy sits up. “Please tell me that’s food.”
Ozzy takes the boxes and gives the driver a nod. “It’s food.”
“Bless you,” Guy says.
We all move inside, and for a while, everyone is busy grabbing plates, napkins, and drinks. Ozzy ordered enough pizza to feed an army, which is good since the Brody men eat like they haven’t seen food in a week.
I take a seat beside Lindsey at the dining room table. Penn sits across from me, and even though I can feel him watching me, I keep my attention on my plate.
The room is loud with everyone talking at once. There is laughter, jokes, and ribbing, and it all starts to feel normal.
Then Ozzy stands at the end of the table, and the room quiets almost immediately.
Ozzy looks uncomfortable, like he’d rather be doing just about anything else, but he clears his throat and looks around at all of us. “I’m not good at this kind of thing.”
Guy grins. “We know.”
Ozzy points at him. “Shut up.”
Everyone laughs, but it fades quickly when Ozzy’s expression turns serious.
“I know I’ve been distant lately,” he says. “More than lately, probably. Losing Valerie…” He stops and looks down for a second before forcing himself to continue. “Losing her changed me. I know that I’ve pushed people away, and I’ve used this ranch as an excuse to be alone.”
No one says anything. I think we’re all surprised. In all the time I’ve known Ozzy, he’s always kept to himself.
He looks toward his brothers, then his sister, then the rest of us. “But if losing her taught me anything, it’s that you hold on to the love you still have. You don’t waste it. You don’t take it for granted. You don’t assume the people you love will always be standing there waiting for you.”
His eyes land on Penn, and he gives him a knowing nod.
Ozzy clears his throat again. “So thank you for coming today. Thank you for helping. And thank you for always being here for me, even when I haven’t made it easy.”
The room is quiet for another second, and then Skyler sniffles. “Oh, Ozzy.”
He gives her a warning look. “Don’t you dare cry.”
She sobs. “I’m pregnant. I cry when commercials are sad.”
Zach wraps an arm around her shoulders and kisses the side of her head.
Logan lifts his drink. “We love you, brother.”
Miller nods. “Always.”
Guy raises his slice of pizza. “And I forgive you for making me work.”
Ozzy shakes his head, but there’s almost a smile on his face.
Everyone starts talking again, softer this time, and I stare down at my plate because Ozzy’s words are stuck in my head. You hold on to the one you love.
I’m staring at my plate, and I can feel Penn looking at me.
Before I can look back at him, Logan clears his throat and stands up. “Actually, Bree and I have something to tell everyone.”
Bree’s eyes widen a little, and then she smiles at him.
Skyler sits up straighter. “What?”
Logan reaches for Bree’s hand and threads their fingers together. “We’re pregnant,” he says.
For one second, the room goes completely still, then everyone erupts. There are squeals of laughter, congratulations being called out, hugs, and fist bumps, and it takes me just a second to catch up.
Everyone is happy, and of course I’m happy too. Logan and Bree are going to be great parents, and this is the best family to be born into.
I smile because that’s what I’m supposed to do.
I stand up and hug Bree, and I tell her how happy I am for her because I am.
My eyes burn, but I can easily explain it as happy tears.
I’m not the only one crying in the bunch.
Across the room, Penn is watching me. His face is pale, and the look in his eyes tells me he knows exactly what this moment is doing to me.
I step back from Bree and force my smile wider. “This is so exciting.”
Bree squeezes my hand. “Thank you.”
I nod, but I can’t say anything else.
The room is full of laughter and congratulations, but all I can hear is the question I asked Penn this morning. Do you not want to have kids with me? And the silence that came before his answer.
I look down at my hands, twisting my fingers together in my lap. I’m happy for them. But I’m breaking for me. I don’t think I can do this anymore.