CHAPTER 15 PENN
PENN
I look at my watch for the hundredth time. It’s almost noon, and I’m still in rounds. Normally, I would work through lunch, but not today. I hand the file to Nurse Jenner. “I’m taking lunch. Meet you back here at one.”
Her eyebrows lift, and I don’t blame her for being surprised. I usually finish rounds. I definitely don’t take a lunch, but today is different. Today, I get to see my wife, who I haven’t seen in a few days.
I push the button on the elevator, and as soon as the door opens, I get on.
I bind my hands together in front of me to try and calm my nerves.
I’m acting like this is a date or something.
Who knows why she wanted to meet? Fuck, what if she plans on serving me with divorce papers?
The thought almost makes my legs buckle.
I put a hand on the wall of the elevator to stay up.
Thank God I’m alone or else I would be causing a scene.
When the doors open, I’m slower to move. My excitement from earlier is gone, and now I’m worried as I walk down the hallway toward my office. As soon as I get around the corner, I see Aria holding a brown bag. When she sees me, her smile is big and instant, and some of my worry leaves me.
I want to kiss her. The need is so big there’s no holding it back. I stop next to her, take the bag from her hands, and kiss her forehead. “Hey,” I murmur.
She’s in scrubs, and maybe most people don’t find those flattering, but they look sexy as hell on Aria. “You look good today.”
She seems taken aback by the kiss but recovers instantly. “Yeah, well, sleeping in our bed definitely helped.”
And just like that, just the mention of her in our bed and I get hard. Thankfully, I’m wearing my lab coat, but by the look she’s giving me, I’m not hiding anything.
I open my office door and gesture for her to go in. I set the bag on the coffee table and then pat the seat next to me for her to sit down. “Thanks for getting the food.”
She sits down. “Yeah, well, I know you work through lunch a lot, but if we’re going to talk, I thought we could eat too.”
I pause as I’m unloading the bag, a sense of dread coming over me. “What do you want to talk about?”
She takes the bag from me and finishes removing the Styrofoam containers. “Us.”
She has a smile on her face as she opens the containers. She holds one up to me. “I got your favorite. Smoky Mountain chicken sandwich. I had them substitute the cheddar cheese for mozzarella.”
I take the sandwich she’s holding out to me. “What about us?”
She shrugs her shoulders and points at the last container. “I also got a piece of the Blaze cinnamon cake from the diner. I thought we could share it.”
I nod and ask impatiently, “Sounds great. What about us do you want to talk about?”
She’s avoiding my gaze, staring down at her sandwich, and my stomach drops. I set my sandwich down. “Aria, are you here to give me divorce papers?”
Her eyes flick to mine so fast and I can see the pain in their depths. “What? You want a divorce?”
I set the sandwich down and turn to look at her. “I just figured that’s the next move, and if that’s what you’re doing, I don’t think I’m going to want to eat right now.”
Something flickers in her eyes, but her voice remains calm. “Is that what you want, Penn? You want me to divorce you?”
I suck in a breath because just hearing her say the words makes me sick to my stomach. “No, it’s the last thing I want, but I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I mean, like I said, I would understand, and maybe it’s for the best.”
She closes up her sandwich and sets it back in the bag. She’s really calm about it, and when she looks at me, guilt rises in my chest because her eyes are filled with pain. “Tell me something, Penn. Do you love me?”
I grit my teeth. “You know I love you.”
She nods. “Right. So why are you doing this?”
I jut my chin at her. “Because you deserve more than I can give you.”
“Bullshit,” she exclaims.
I rear back in surprise. Aria never cusses, so for her to do so, I know she’s mad.
She stands up. “Guess what, Penn?”
I stare up at her. “What?”
She puts a hand on her hip. “I love you too, and I’m not just going to give up on us.” She picks up the bag with her sandwich in it. “I’ve moved back home, and I think you should do the same. We can’t work this out if we’re not living together.”
“But…” I start. She doesn’t let me finish.
“Also, I have my boss’s birthday dinner on Friday night, and I don’t want to go alone. Will you go with me?”
My mouth drops. I thought for sure my wife was going to be talking to me about getting a divorce, and here she is asking me on a date.
What is even happening right now? When I don’t answer right away, she continues.
“I know you work Friday during the day and there’s a chance you won’t be able to make it for dinner, but I’d appreciate it if you’d try. ”
Fuck. I’ve let her down so many times, but she’s still giving me chances to make things right. “I’ll be there. I’ll pick you up at the house. What time?”
“The dinner starts at six.”
“I’ll be there to pick you up at 5:45.”
She nods, and I gesture to the spot next to me. “Are you going to sit back down?”
She holds the bag closer to her. “No. I think I’m going to go back to my office and eat. I’m a little mad at you right now. I can’t believe you said divorce, Penn.”
My mouth drops open. I’ve hurt her… again.
She leans over and picks up the container that holds the cake. “I’m going to take this and eat it myself.”
She turns to go but then stops. “And Sunday, I know you will probably be working, but I’m still going to have dinner with your family.”
I stand up. “Our family. No matter what is going on between us, my family loves you, Aria, and you’ll always be a part of it.”
I know what my words mean to her. Aria didn’t have a good home life growing up. She’s dreamed of having a big family, and that’s why it hurts so badly that I can’t give that to her.
She shoves the cake into the bag and then with one hand on the door, she looks back at me. “Eat your lunch, Penn. You look tired.” She gestures to the couch. “And that is way too small for you to be sleeping on. Come home.”
I just stare at her. She’s so tempting. I want to hold her to me, confess everything, and then see what happens. Before I can do that, she says, looking straight at me, “I love you.”
I don’t even think about it. “I love you too.”
Then she opens the door. “Five forty-five on Friday,” she says.
“I’ll be there,” I answer.
She nods. “You better be.”
“I will.” And even though I never make promises with my schedule, I do it anyway because this is important. “I promise.”
Her eyebrows lift, and she nods once and walks out of my office.
I stand here long after the door closes, staring at the place where she was.
My heart is pounding. For the first time in days, I feel a weight lift off my shoulders. I tried to do the right thing and end things, but that’s not what she wants. I still need to come clean, but maybe, just maybe we have a chance to make this work. We do have options.
All that matters right now is she’s not divorcing me. She’s giving me another chance. And this time, I can’t waste it.