ARIA
The cafeteria is louder than usual today, or maybe it only feels that way because I’m trying not to think about Penn.
That’s pretty much impossible when I’m in the same hospital as him.
I’ve seen him twice this morning from a distance: once near the nurse station on the surgical floor and once when he was stepping into the elevator with another doctor. Both times, he looked tired.
I told myself I understood and I did, but I still wish I could have slept next to him. At least he wanted to come home. That’s something.
All I know is I barely slept.
Now I’m sitting in the cafeteria with Cathy across from me and Knox beside me, pretending I’m listening to their conversation about the new scheduling system when I’m not.
I’m picking at the last few fries on my plate and trying not to check the doors every two seconds.
A few of our coworkers were sitting with us earlier, but they’ve all gone back to their departments. Now it’s just the three of us.
Cathy takes a sip of her tea and points at Knox. “I’m telling you, the whole system is a mess. I had two patients double-booked yesterday.”
Knox groans. “Same. I had Mrs. Ogle and Mr. Bean scheduled for the same time, and both of them were mad at me like I personally built the software.”
I laugh because I know exactly what he means. “Mrs. Ogle is always mad.”
“That’s true,” Cathy says. “She comes in mad.”
“And leaves mad,” Knox adds.
I smile and shake my head, but then the cafeteria doors open, and Penn walks in.
My whole body reacts just like it does every time I’ve seen him since the day we met.
He’s wearing his white coat over navy scrubs, and his hair is slightly messy like he’s been running his hand through it all morning. He looks tired.
For just a second, I forget that I’m upset with him. I still can’t believe he said the “D” word.
His eyes move over the cafeteria, and when they land on me, everything in his face changes.
I lift my hand and wave.
His hand comes up in return, but then his gaze shifts to Knox sitting beside me.
Penn’s hand lowers slowly, and his face tightens.
Oh. I know that look. I know when he’s annoyed, angry, or frustrated. I know all his looks, and the one he has right now is pure jealousy. Which is ridiculous. The man has nothing to be jealous of. He has to know I’m a fool for him.
But I do have to admit, I’m enjoying this a little bit. For the last few weeks, I’ve wondered if my husband still wanted me the way he used to, but the way he’s looking at me right now tells me that he does.
Cathy follows my gaze and then looks back at me. Her eyes widen a little. “Well, well.”
“Stop,” I mutter.
Knox turns around. “What?”
“Nothing,” Cathy says, but she’s smiling.
Penn walks toward us, and even the way he’s walking seems predatory. He looks calm from the outside, but I know better.
“Aria,” he says when he reaches the table.
“Hey.”
His eyes move over my face like he’s checking to make sure I’m okay, then they flick to Knox again. “Cathy. Knox.”
Cathy smiles like she’s enjoying every second of this. “Dr. Brody.”
Knox nods. “Hey, Penn.”
Penn’s jaw tightens a little at the easy use of his first name.
I press my lips together to keep from smiling.
“We were just finishing lunch,” I say.
He nods. “I see that.”
Knox looks between us, then grabs his tray. “I should probably head back.”
“You don’t have to,” I tell him.
Penn’s eyes come to mine.
Knox stands anyway. “No, I do. I have an eval in twenty.” He looks at Cathy. “You coming?”
Cathy leans back in her chair like she has all the time in the world and is enjoying the show. “I still have a few minutes.”
I roll my eyes. Of course she does.
Knox walks off, and I watch him go before looking back at Penn. “Did you get lunch?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
I give him a disappointed look. “Penn.”
He looks at me like he’s starving, but he says, “I’m not hungry.”
That makes Cathy snort softly.
Penn ignores her, his attention fully on me. “Do you have a minute?”
I glance at my watch. “I have thirty minutes before my next appointment.”
“Good.”
He looks at Cathy. “I’m going to borrow my wife for a minute.”
The way he says my wife hits me right in the chest.
Cathy’s eyebrows shoot up, and then she looks at me and wiggles them so dramatically I almost laugh.
I stand and grab my phone. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I didn’t say a word,” she says.
“You didn’t have to.”
Penn reaches for my hand before I can walk around the table. His fingers thread with mine, and I hate how much I’ve missed something so simple.
He doesn’t say anything as he leads me out of the cafeteria.
Neither of us speaks, and the silence is thick. It’s like there is something charged happening between us.
By the time we reach the elevator, I’m too aware of him. The way his hand is holding mine and the way he keeps his face straight ahead, like if he looks at me he’s not going to be able to stop himself.
The doors to the elevator open, and we step inside.
The second they close, I look at him. “Penn?”
He doesn’t answer. He just keeps holding my hand.
The elevator starts to move, and I watch the numbers change above the doors. I should tell him he can’t just drag me through the hospital every time he gets jealous, but I don’t, because there’s a part of me that is enjoying this.
When the doors open on his floor, he leads me down the hallway. He’s still quiet, and the closer we get to his office, the harder my heart starts to pound.
We pass Nurse Jenner at the desk. Her eyes drop to our joined hands then back up.
Penn doesn’t even look at her.
He opens his office door and waits for me to go in first. The second I step inside, he follows, closes the door, and locks it.
I turn around, my back almost touching his desk. “What’s going on?”
Penn faces me, and the look in his eyes makes me suck in a breath. “I just need to do something.”
Before I can ask what, he crosses the room. He cups my face in both hands and kisses me like he’s been starving for it.
The second his mouth touches mine, I gasp.
He takes advantage, deepening the kiss, and my hands grab the front of his lab coat because my knees are suddenly not as steady as they were a second ago.
This isn’t a soft kiss. It’s the kind of kiss that claims.
And God help me, I kiss him back because I’ve missed this too.
Penn walks me backward until my hips hit the edge of his desk and his hands slide down my sides to my hips.
He breaks the kiss only long enough to breathe against my mouth. “You were sitting close to him.”
My eyes flutter open. “What?”
“Knox.” His voice is low and rough. “You were sitting close to him.”
I stare at him for half a second before it hits me, and a smile pulls at my mouth before I can stop it. “You’re jealous.”
His eyes lock on mine, and he doesn’t even deny it. “Damn right I am.”
“Penn.”
“I know I have no right,” he says, but his hands tighten on my hips. “I know that. But I hated it.”
I lift my chin. “Hated what?”
“Seeing him beside you.”
“He’s my coworker.”
“I know.”
“He’s married.”
“I don’t care.”
A laugh slips out of me, and his eyes darken. “You think this is funny?”
“No.” I shake my head, but I’m still smiling a little. “Maybe. A little.”
He steps closer, pressing me back against the desk. “I’m glad you’re amused.”
“I kind of am.”
His mouth lowers to my jaw, and my smile disappears.
“I didn’t like it,” he says against my skin.
I hold on to his coat.
He shakes his head like he’s trying to get an image out. “I didn’t like seeing another man sitting where I should be sitting.” His mouth moves to my neck. “I didn’t like the way he looked comfortable beside you.”
“He’s harmless.”
“That doesn’t make me want to kill him less.”
I suck in a breath. “Penn.”
“I know.” He lifts his head and looks at me. “I know. I’m being unreasonable.”
“Yes.”
His eyes flare. “I’m still jealous.”
“I noticed.”
His gaze drops to my mouth. “Tell me to stop.”
I should. We’re at work, I have a patient in thirty minutes, we still have a mountain of things between us that a kiss isn’t going to fix, and I know what he’s hiding now.
But just as soon as I think about what he’s hiding from me, I soften to him.
I put my hand on his chest. “This doesn’t fix everything.”
His expression changes, and some of the heat in his eyes turns into pain. “I know.”
I nod. “You can’t kiss me like this every time you don’t know what to say.”
He agrees with me. “I know that too.”
I tilt my head. “Do you?”
He nods.
I search his face, trying to figure out if this is another way for him to avoid talking or if he really is just as desperate as I feel. Maybe it’s both.
He lowers his forehead to mine. “I miss you.”
My body heats. “I’m right here.”
“No.” His voice cracks a little on the word. “Not the way you were before.”
That hurts, but I know it’s true. I’m not sure I’ll be back to the way I was until he comes clean with everything. “You changed that,” I whisper.
His eyes close. “I know.”
For a moment, neither of us moves. Then his hand slides under the hem of my scrub top, his palm warm against my skin.
“Tell me to stop,” he says again.
But I don’t. Instead, I lift my hand to the back of his neck and pull his mouth back to mine.
He groans, and the sound goes straight through me.
This kiss is even hotter than the first one. His hands move under my scrub top, sliding up my back, then down again like he can’t get enough of touching me.
I know that sex isn’t the answer and we have so much to talk about, but I need this more than I thought I did. I need to feel wanted by my husband.
Penn lifts me onto the edge of his desk, and I gasp against his mouth.
He steps between my knees and slides a hand under the waistband of my scrubs and underwear. I open to him, and he palms my sex. He slides one finger through my slick folds and leans his forehead against mine. “Tell me this is for me. Tell me I’m the reason you’re soaking wet.”
I put a hand to his cheek. “Since the day we met, all you gotta do is look at me and I’m a mess.”
He takes a shuddering breath.
“You’re mine,” he says, the words rough against my lips.
My whole body reacts. I pull back just enough to look at him. “Then act like I’m your wife.”
His breathing is hard, his eyes locked on mine. “You are my wife.”
“Then trust me like I am.”
The words land between us, and his face shifts.
For a second, I think he’s going to say it. I think he’s finally going to tell me what I already know.
But then his phone starts ringing in his pocket, and we both freeze.
He closes his eyes. “Fuck.”
The phone keeps ringing, but he doesn’t move right away.
“Penn,” I whisper.
“I know.”
He pulls his hand from between my legs. He glances at the moisture on his fingers, and I’m shocked when he puts them in his mouth.
He closes his eyes like he’s savoring the taste, but his phone rings again.
With frustration on his face, he pulls his phone out and looks at the screen.
“Hospital. Of course.”
He answers, his voice instantly changing into the calm doctor voice everyone else gets. “Brody.”
I sit there on his desk, trying to catch my breath while he listens.
His jaw tightens. “I’m on my way.”
He hangs up and looks at me. The room is quiet except for both of us breathing too fast.
“I guess they were paging me and I didn’t hear it. I have to go.”
“I know.”
He reaches for me, brushing his thumb over my cheek. “Aria—”
I slide off the desk and smooth my scrub top down. “Go.”
“I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“You’re not leaving me.” I pick up my phone from where I dropped it on his desk and look at him. “You’re going to do your job.”
He stares at me.
“And then you’re coming home tonight,” I say.
He softly smiles. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m coming home.”
I nod, even though my heart is pounding and my whole body is still vibrating with need.
He unlocks the door, but before he opens it, he turns back to me. “I was jealous.”
I give him a knowing look.
He shrugs. “I’m not sorry.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. “I know that too.”
His eyes drop to my mouth one more time, and for a second, I think he’s going to kiss me again, but he doesn’t. He opens the door and steps into the hallway.
I wait a few seconds before following. I smooth my clothes and pat down my hair because I’m sure it’s sticking up all over the place.
I take a deep breath, and when I step into the hallway, Nurse Jenner looks up from the desk. Her eyes move over me, then toward Penn as he disappears around the corner.
I lift my chin and keep walking.
Penn Brody is jealous and is coming home. No, we’re not fixed, but for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like he’s trying to let me go.