38. Katie
Katie was tired. The kids were driving her nuts and refusing to eat a meal she had spent ages preparing.
‘Yuk, yuk, yuk.’ Toby mushed the food with his fork.
‘It tastes weird, Mum. I’m not eating it.’ Lucy pushed her plate away, it toppled and fell off the table.
Katie stared at the mess on the floor. She wanted to scream.
Before she blew a fuse, she told Lucy to clean up her mess and left the room.
She went into the living room to calm down.
The drinks cabinet was directly in front of her.
What she wouldn’t do for one vodka. Just one, to take the edge off.
One drink to make her feel less angry. One drink to lighten her mood.
She pressed her right thumb into the palm of her left hand – it was something her therapist had shown her, a tool they had given her to help when she felt overwhelmed by anxiety.
Katie pressed hard and closed her eyes. She thought about the disgust and shame she’d felt on waking up in that hotel room. Never again. One more lap, Katie. One more lap. She took a few deep breaths and went back into the kitchen.
Lucy had made a half-hearted effort to clean up, but had just made it worse.
Katie asked Alexa to play ‘Don’t You Worry ’Bout a Thing’ by Tori Kelly.
As the music played she sang along, releasing the tension.
The kids joined in and soon the dinner drama was forgotten.
Katie put on some fish fingers and reminded herself that she didn’t need to be perfect.
She just needed to stay sober and be present.
Jamie came downstairs from his post-run shower.
‘Lucy, your granny says you can call over now. She has a few new books for you and she wants to talk to you about Anne of Green Gables .’
‘I’ll take you over.’
‘No, it’s fine, I’ll do it,’ Jamie said.
‘No.’ Katie was firm. ‘I haven’t set eyes on Nancy in weeks and I just want to say hello and break the awkwardness. I’ll see how her hair looks and maybe offer to do it for her.’
‘Are you sure?’ Jamie looked worried.
‘Yes. I feel bad for her about Melanie leaving, although I think Melanie is right for doing it. But I know your mum is upset, so I’ve made her a cheesecake to cheer her up.
If Lucy gives it to her, she might eat it.
Ross, Amanda and Theo moved out yesterday, so I want to make sure she’s okay.
Besides, I know the twins are there setting up her new smart TV, so I’ll have a buffer. ’
Jamie kissed her. ‘I saw her in the office earlier, and she’s fine, but it’s thoughtful of you. I’m upset about Melanie too. What do I get?’
Katie grinned at him. ‘I have something in mind for you later.’
Jamie whooped and pinched her bum.
‘Dad!’ Lucy covered her eyes.
Jamie laughed as Katie swatted his hand away.
Lucy got her books and climbed into the car. ‘I don’t think Granny will be happy to see you, Mum. She’s still cross.’
‘Well, I can only try to break the ice. She can’t stay angry for ever.’
‘I told Granny that you were super-nice and fun at the moment and she said it was probably because you felt guilty about being mean.’
The bitch. How dare she slag Katie off to her own daughter? Katie’s willingness to make amends was fading fast. This had to stop.
They pulled up outside the house and Lucy jumped out, eager to see her beloved granny. The house was dark. Katie rang the doorbell.
‘I have a key.’ Lucy pulled it out.
‘I know, but we should give her a minute’s notice before we barge in.’
Ignoring her mother, Lucy opened the door and went straight inside. ‘Hi, Granny.’
Katie hovered behind her daughter.
Nancy was sitting at the kitchen counter with the twins, having dinner. Her face lit up when she saw Lucy. ‘Hello, my little pet.’
‘Hi, Nancy.’ Katie put on her cheeriest voice, the one she used in the salon for the impossible clients who complained about everything.
‘Mum came to give you a cake and see if you’re okay and not lonely,’ Lucy gushed, clearly trying to get her granny onside with her mother’s presence.
‘Hi, Katie.’ The twins climbed off their stools and came over to hug her.
‘Hello,’ Nancy managed, though how she did it through clenched teeth Katie wasn’t sure. It was clear that Nancy hated the sight of her. The idea of bridge-building seemed stupid now.
‘I’ll leave this here, Nancy,’ Katie said, putting the home-baked cheesecake on the counter. ‘I just wanted to check in on you. Lucy can text me when you guys are finished.’
‘No, stay,’ the twins said. ‘We need help setting up the TV.’
‘Yes, Mum, stay.’ Lucy looked sideways at her grandmother.
Nancy nodded. ‘Let me talk to Lucy about the book and you can help the twins.’
‘Fine.’
Katie and the twins sat down in the lounge.
She got the twins to read out the instructions so she could work out how to set up the TV.
The twins lay on the couch, legs crossed on top of each other.
It was as if their bodies meshed when they were together.
It was nice that they had each other, Katie thought. They were never alone.
‘Well, how are you both? It’s been a tough week.’
Joni bit her nail. ‘Yeah, big-time.’
‘Mum is such a selfish bitch,’ Janis said.
‘Whoa! Steady on there. Don’t speak about your mum like that. She is not selfish or a bitch. She’s an amazing woman.’
‘She’s a crap mother.’
‘She never puts us first, ever.’
‘Not true,’ Katie said. ‘She’s worked her arse off for twenty years, putting up with that … well, putting up with Nancy, who is not easy, to provide you with a lovely home and a great education and holidays and all the extras you take for granted.’
‘She’s leaving us, Katie. She’s walking out.’
Katie connected the TV to the Sky box. ‘She’s not leaving you, she’s moving to a new place.
She’s not abandoning you. She and your dad have decided to live apart.
She’s still your mum, she’s still going to be providing for you all, and let me tell you, it’s very decent of her to make sure you don’t have to move out of your house.
She’s the one moving. She’s the one who’s making the changes. ’
‘She wants to go,’ Joni said. ‘She can work twenty hours a day without having to look after us, or even think about us.’
She had a point. Melanie did seem to be looking forward to her new working environment.
‘Look, girls, my mum died when I was young and I hated not having a mother. You have a mum and dad who love you and are there for you and do everything to make your lives as perfect as they can be. So instead of giving out and being mean about your mum, try being grateful for all she’s done.
Believe me, when you have no mother there’s a big hole in your life.
Melanie may not be perfect, but she’s good enough. Now give her a break, please.’
The twins looked a bit sheepish. ‘Okay, we’ll try,’ Joni said.
‘Sorry you had no mum,’ Janis added.
Katie smiled. ‘Thanks. It’s only now I realize how hard it was. At the time you just get on with it. Honestly, appreciate the mum you have.’
The door opened and Lucy came in carrying a pile of books. ‘Look, Mum, Granny gave me all these to read.’
‘Thank God she has you to dump her books on.’ Joni giggled.
‘Granny wants to talk to you,’ Lucy told Katie.
What? Did she? Oh, God, was she going to have another go at her? Sighing, Katie made her way to the kitchen.
Nancy was sitting at the end of the kitchen table.
‘Did you want to see me?’ Katie asked.
‘Sit down.’
Katie fought the urge to tell her to sod off, and sat down.
‘As you know, I want Lucy to take over the agency as soon as she’s old enough.’
‘If that’s what she wants.’ Katie was not having Lucy being bullied into doing something she might not want to do when the time came.
‘She does want it.’
‘She’s nine, Nancy. She’s perfectly entitled to change her mind as she gets older. When I was nine I wanted to be a lion-tamer.’
‘Yes, well …’ Nancy left the you-are-an-idiot implication hanging between them. ‘As you probably know, Melanie is setting up a rival agency.’
‘She’s setting up an agency. I’m not sure whether it’s rival or not.’
‘It’s a literary agency. What else can it be?’
Katie shrugged. ‘Healthy competition?’
‘Anyway, this betrayal has left me with a decision to make about my interim successor.’
Katie said nothing. She waited.
‘I’ve decided it’s going to be Jamie.’
‘Okay, great. Good choice.’ Katie was not going to grovel with gratitude.
‘Jamie will have more responsibility. He’ll be travelling more often and doing more entertaining of authors and publishers.’
‘Right.’
Nancy’s eyes narrowed. ‘He needs a solid partner, someone he can rely on to keep things going smoothly at home. Someone he can bring out with him, when needs be, to wine and dine important people and do it well.’
‘Mm-hmm.’ Katie waited for the insult to come.
‘You will need to step up.’
‘In what way?’ she asked. If Nancy wanted to insult her, she was going to have to spell it out.
Nancy waved her arm towards Katie. ‘Well, your drinking will have to be curbed. You’ll need to edit yourself before opening your mouth, and you’ll have to read a lot of books so you can be good company for these people.
Jamie will need someone he can trust to behave in an appropriate way by his side. ’
Katie pressed her thumb into her palm so hard she thought it might break through the skin.
‘Nancy,’ she kept her voice low and cool, ‘Frank’s marriage is over and Ross’s is hanging by a thread.
Jamie and I are very much together, very much in love and very happy.
This little speech of yours, clearly designed to make me feel lesser than, is not going to intimidate me.
I will talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about.
People actually find me great company. I will read what I feel like reading.
The one thing I do agree with you on is alcohol.
It has not been my friend lately and I’ve cut it out.
So you don’t need to worry about me making a show of myself in front of your precious clients.
I have always supported Jamie. I think he’s the bee’s knees.
I know he will run the agency so well. You’re lucky to have him.
‘If, and it’s a big if, my Lucy decides she wants to join the firm, then that will be her decision and only hers.
No one will be pushing my daughter into doing anything she does not want to do.
I will be protecting her and making sure she makes her decisions on her own terms. I understand that you are part of my life because I’m married to Jamie.
I understand that my outburst was wrong and I have apologized again and again for it.
However, if you host another lunch and exclude me, Jamie and our children will not be attending.
I will walk across hot coals to make Lucy happy, so despite years of putting up with your snide comments and constant put-downs, I will sit at the table with you.
But I will not have you belittling me in front of my children ever again.
You may not rate me as a person or a professional, but you will not disrespect me in front of my children, just as I promise not to disrespect you either. ’
Nancy’s eyes widened in surprise. Katie could see she had not expected that.
‘Jamie and Lucy are my priority.’
‘I also have a son, Nancy. Toby.’
‘Yes, well, he’s very young. I’m not sure what to make of him yet.’
Give me patience . Katie kept pressing her thumb.
‘As I was saying,’ Nancy continued, ‘they are my priority and I accept that you are part of the package. So I will be civil to you as long as you are civil to me.’
‘Fair enough.’ And it was. If they both treated each other with respect, they’d muddle through.
‘I would like to suggest that Lucy comes into the office after school one day a week to learn the ropes.’
‘Lucy is nine. She will not be going into any office after school. Come back to me when she’s seventeen.’
Nancy gritted her teeth. ‘Fine. Then I would like to spend an hour every Sunday morning discussing books with Lucy.’
‘That sounds lovely.’ Katie stood up and winked at her mother-in-law. ‘Look at us, Nancy, compromising already. We’ll be bezzie mates in no time.’ Katie chuckled at Nancy’s sour face and called the twins to bring them home.