Chapter 47 #3
I grabbed his stubbled chin and kissed him before I could change my mind.
Mavic was a good kisser, but I felt nothing.
“He looks like he wants to kill you, Mav,” Mina muttered. I threaded my fingers through Mavic’s hair and deepened the kiss. “Oh! He’s getting up!”
I swiped my tongue against Mavic’s, and he moaned in pleasant surprise. He chuckled against my lips and returned the favor.
“He just threw his fork down and stormed off,” Mina updated us. “I don’t think I’ve seen him so angry before!”
When I drew back from the kiss, Mavic’s pupils were full, his lips red and swollen.
“Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?” he uttered under his breath. “Weren’t you holed up in a cabin in Warrich for twenty years?”
I shrugged, my eyes welling with tears again. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea for my heart, but I shoved the sorrow down with a sip of wine while vengeful satisfaction settled like a jagged, rusty anchor in my chest. It was enough to ground me.
“You know, Your Highness,” Mavic leaned close, his voice a whisper only I could hear. “I mean this with the utmost respect and care. If the mood ever strikes you and?—”
“No.” I gave his cheek a friendly pat. Mina had told him everything that had and hadn’t happened in the showers. Somehow, that ridiculous offer was exactly what I needed to laugh for the first time in days. “I adore you, but no.”
Mavic smirked and took a long drag of wine from his cup. “Can’t win if you don’t try.”
I laughed until it led to more tears. Mina rested her gentle hand in my lap, bringing me enough comfort to keep from crying profusely.
I wiped my eyes. When they were clear, my gaze caught on a sprinkling of blue in one of the bouquets of flowers left over from Reverie that adorned the mess hall tables.
“Mina?”
“Yes?”
“I would like you to give me a tattoo.”
After supper, we lit every sconce and lantern in the cabin to give Mina enough light to work.
It took her three hours, and it was perfect.
Behind my ear, just below my hairline, were three small flowers with sky-blue petals that faded to white at the edges.
Their stems were dark green, fine, and the entire piece followed the curve of my earlobe.
“Forget-me-nots? How romantic.” Mavic’s mouth was full of his apple. He winked at me in the mirror. “Who are they for?”
Mina slapped his chest and hissed, “Mind your own business, Mav!”
He tossed his head back in laughter I was grateful to hear. I would continue to need it.
“They’re for me.” I carefully touched my finger to the delicate blue flowers. My skin was a little warm and irritated around the edges.
“The redness will fade after a few days,” Mina assured me. “As will any lingering soreness.”
“It’s perfect.” I tore my gaze from the mirror. “Thank you.”
She smiled back. “It might be my favorite of the ones I’ve done for someone else.”
My fingers traced the flowers as I fell asleep wrapped in his sweater, feeling a little bit closer to him.
The next morning, I woke early and went for a walk around the fortress.
Fresh air and movement made it easier to escape the mournful stupor I’d been caught in since that moment.
It allowed me time to sort through my thoughts.
And I tried not to think about him. When I failed, my body attempted to cease functioning, and I had to function. I had to survive .
Every time Elias saw me, he looked like a lost dog begging for forgiveness.
He kept his hands off me as ordered. Part of me was so tired that I wanted to let it go.
When I felt that way, I asked myself how I would feel if Gemma or Mina had been attacked in those showers.
What if it had been one of the timid eighteen-year-old females who didn’t want to be here?
Were they important enough to trounce his need for revenge against the Butcher?
Would he have asked them what they’d been doing in the showers in the middle of the night? Would he have told them to be more careful ?
He was too blinded by hatred and his unconquerable need for retribution.
While his desire for justice—for his parents and his sister, for thousands of innocents— was valid, his dismissal of what had happened and refusal to believe me about Gerard and the others were not.
It was clear that he regretted how he’d handled it.
While I knew I could find it in me to forgive him eventually, I now feared I’d never be able to trust him fully.
“Fera!” Valda’s voice caught me off guard as I walked past the refectory. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. The commander has called you for a last-minute briefing. Main hall, right now.”
“Before breakfast?”
“Now, Cadet!” She ignored my query and disappeared around the corner.
I increased my pace to get to the main hall but gasped when a strong hand gripped my arm and dragged me into the shadows between buildings. I started to reach for my knife when I looked up and saw black hair, hazel eyes, and one of the kindest faces I’ve ever known.
Finn Sinclair’s face.
“What the hell , Ary?”