Chapter 48
FORTY-EIGHT
ARYELLA
“Finn?” I grasped at his forearms to make sure he was real. He was.
“Yes.” He scanned my face with wide eyes. “I knew you were here pretending to be someone else, but this feels even riskier in person.”
“How’d you know it was me?”
He arched a brow and snorted, the tension between us beginning to dull. “Your disguise is impressive, but not that impressive. You’re still you, mostly.”
“Yes,” I choked out through a tearful laugh.
He gave my shoulders a light squeeze. “It’s so good to see you.
” The longer he looked at me, the more concerned he became.
I could fool most of them, but I couldn’t fool a friend who had seen me at my lowest, starving and helpless.
Finn had no idea how far I’d come. The last time he’d seen me, I was timid, weak, and dangerously naive.
I had used my power only once by healing a little boy. I had barely grasped who or what I was.
“Are you doing all right?” he asked worriedly, hissing at the bruising along my face and neck. “Ary, what the hell happened to you?”
“How’s Gemma?” I deflected.
“She’s out on a mission right now. She’s… all right.” He nodded, but it wasn’t convincing. I felt the blood leave my face.
“What?” I demanded anxiously. “Finn?”
Finn exhaled defeatedly. “Winterton came down hard on her after what happened at Brinnea. On both of us, but especially her. He sent me to Peradine to try to drive a wedge between us.”
Dread spread through my veins and soured my stomach with guilt.
“Blamed her for you going with him and for your… death.”
My cheeks heated with anger. “It was not her fault or yours.”
“I know. And if you were dead,” he continued, his voice lowering to a barely-there whisper, “I think she would be broken. Like Ezra.” When he saw my face fall, he explained, “He’s just very sad. Very often.”
Guilt weighed on my chest. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”
“Honestly?” Finn cringed. “I’m not sure, Ary.”
Could I really blame him? I knew the risks of keeping the truth from so many people, including Ezra. He was loyal to Elias and the Wintertons. Based on his knowledge, he had every reason to be.
“You can’t keep this up, what you’re doing.” Finn’s voice was wary.
“I know,” I agreed. “The third test is just in a few days. Let me finish Commencement. I’m telling Elias right after.”
He pursed his lips. “You’ve been postponing the inevitable in the meantime.”
“Maybe,” I shot back. “Or maybe I’m doing exactly what needs to be done.”
“It’s not good ,” he warned. “You should tell him now.”
“And what good is a queen who can’t prove she can fight along-side her people?” I said between gritted teeth. “The moment Elias finds out who I am, I fear he’ll try to lock me up and have me guarded. He’s not going to let me breathe , Finn.”
“You don’t know that?—”
“I do. Especially after what happened to me in Brinnea. Especially if he knows that Gav—” My heart pinched at the thought of him. Tears seared the back of my eyes like the bluest of flames. Saying his name would bring me to my knees, weeping, and I couldn’t allow that. Not now, and not here.
“That Smyth did what?” Finn paled. “What did happen in Brinnea? Damond’s note didn’t give any details?—”
“Sinclair!”
Finn cursed under his breath, snapping straight and tall beside me. I had no idea where Elias had come from, but he now stood feet away, face tight with suspicion.
“How do you know our new cadet, Sinclair?” he barked a little too aggressively.
“I don’t,” Finn lied. “I just met her.”
Elias glanced between us in clear disbelief. “Seems like an awfully heated exchange for two people who just met. What were you two doing hiding in the shadows?”
“Well,” Finn stammered. “I?—”
“We were acquainted once, briefly, in passing,” I rushed out, saving Finn from his admirable inability to be dishonest. “When he was stationed on the eastern coast.”
“Acquainted,” Elias echoed in a voice that was dark and a little too smooth, the way he did when he was suspicious. “Interesting choice of words, Fera.”
Was he jealous of Finn now? Mavic, I could understand. He was a gorgeous smart-ass who had a reputation with women. But Finn ? Good, honorable Finn who only ever had eyes for Gemma?
“Yes,” Finn confirmed with a stern nod, oblivious to the implication. The sweet man. He was too good. “It was a while ago.”
“Four years ago?” Elias nearly shouted. “You were stationed south of Brinnea four years ago. Fera’s only twenty. I was under the impression you hold yourself to high standards when it comes to refraining from mingling with underage women. Something you need to confess to Tremaine?”
Oh, good gods.
Finn choked on his own breath and added a good arm’s length between us. “No, that is definitely not something that has happened at all, ever, nor will it ever happen.”
“It didn’t, and it won’t,” I confirmed, countering Finn’s panic with cool composure. “And even if it did, it’d be none of your gods-damned business.”
Vomit pooled in my belly, snaked up my throat, but I forced a honey-sweet smile.
Finn tensed beside me, his nervous eyes darting back and forth between me and Elias. Face contorted with remorse, Elias looked like he wanted to say more but decided to hold back in Finn’s presence.
“I need you both in the main hall,” ordered Elias. As he strode away, he turned to see that we weren’t yet following him, and gritted out, “ Now. ”
We obeyed, but I could tell from Finn’s apprehension that he wasn’t looking forward to whatever was about to unfold. We entered the hall space near the wall, remaining as unnoticed as possible.
“Attention!” Valda shouted over the loud chatter while Elias climbed to the top of the platform. The mixed crowd of troops and cadets fell silent.
“At ease,” Elias announced when he was ready to speak.
“Two of our soldiers have been intercepted and are being held hostage by Insidions. There aren’t more than fifty of them, but they’re far too close to the Caves for comfort.
We can’t wait. All cadets will remain within fortress walls.
Lay low and stay inside your cabins. As for the rest of us?
We’re going to them, and we’re leaving now. ”
At his command, Elias’s troops dispersed and leapt into action.
“Fera!” Elias’s shout made Finn and me pause. He hopped down from the platform and approached. “I want you with us if you’re able, not with the other cadets. Are you sure you’re well enough to go?”
“Yes,” I answered. Healed bones would have to be good enough. I was determined to fight for myself. When that didn’t feel like enough, I would fight for the man who taught me how.
“And you and me?” Elias lowered his voice so only Finn and I could hear. “Are we all right?”
Finn took one look between Elias and me. I could tell he wanted to bolt. I grasped his wrist, keeping him still. As I stared at Elias, sour anger festered, but there were lives at stake. Today, I needed to set my resentment aside. “I have your back,” I assured him.
Relief washed over his handsome face. Relief that he didn’t deserve, given the way he hurt me. Still, I wanted to believe him when he answered, “And I have yours.”
I started to turn away but froze when I saw how Elias stared after Finn, eyes now filled with dread.
“What is it, Commander?” I asked as a sick feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.
Elias looked at Finn with a silent apology. “The Insidions. The soldiers they captured. They have Tremaine.”
I was grateful we had horses, because I wasn’t sure Finn could walk after Elias revealed that Insidions had Gemma. He barely spoke the entire four-hour ride to our destination. Neither could I. We both did our best not to imagine the worst.
Elias wanted me riding near him. Whether that was because he felt guilty, he didn’t want me out of his sight, or he valued me as a fighter, I didn’t know. I obliged, if only because my energy was needed elsewhere.
Other soldiers lagged a few hours behind as backup. A camp was set up near a rushing river a few hundred feet wide. The camp of the Insidions was about a mile downriver, just close enough to make out their faintest movements beneath the high noon sky.
“Come with me,” muttered Elias when we dismounted, indicating a large tent in the center of the camp. Inside sat four middle-aged soldiers around a table. They stood when Elias entered.
“At ease,” he ordered immediately. “Has any progress been made?”
“Unfortunately not, Commander,” answered a tall brunette woman with olive skin and short, cropped hair. “They want a fight.”
Elias’s nostrils flared. “What could be so important to them about two of ours that they’d risk their own in combat? Tremaine and her partner were only carrying information on adjusted trade routes through northern Wymara toward a northern outpost.”
The woman cleared her throat. Her suspicious eyes flitted to me. “There’s been talk of spies among the ranks, sir.”
Elias noticed and bit out, “Yes. Draven Finch is dead. Alec Gerard, Otis Stoll, and the Sharpe brothers are allegedly working with Molochai and are being tracked. But Fera has been with me .”
“We’ve been trying to get more out of them for hours,” said one of the men. “We’ve offered them gold and horses. We’ve ensured free and safe passage through the border back to Tugaf if they give our people back to us. They won’t negotiate.”
Elias rubbed his chin in thought. “How many do we have?”
“We brought two hundred.”
He nodded and stared down at the map of the surrounding area they had roughly sketched, then picked up a pen. “If they want a fight, then we’ll give them a fight.”
“Commander,” warned the oldest of the four with streaks of silver in her auburn hair. “Respectfully, I think we should consider that just two of our soldiers aren’t worth?—”
“We don’t abandon our people, Captain!” he snapped.
She immediately ceased under his authoritative glower. His declaration stung me more than I wanted to admit.
“They have no more than fifty. We have a few hundred. It’ll be a bloodbath.”