Chapter 27
Lucian
My phone vibrates against my chest, and I have to read the words twice before my brain makes sense of them.
Cooper: Cara is looking mighty fine today.
Lucian: She does every day.
Lucian: But how do you know what she looks like right now?
Cooper: I have eyes.
Lucian: You saw her? Where?
Cooper: We met at the park for coffee.
I toss my phone onto the living room table and stare out the window.
She’s back. Earlier than I anticipated she would be, but given the turbulent relationship she has with her mom, it’s not unexpected.
What is unexpected is that Cara and Cooper…hung out? I guess they’re like friends now, or something?
While I’m glad she has someone dependable around like Cooper, I also kind of hate it. She should have me. I suppose I should be glad it’s not Reagan. I don’t need another student knowing all my secrets.
My phone vibrates loudly, but I don’t check it. The last thing I need to deal with is more gloating from my supposed best friend about his coffee date with my mate. Instead, I think about what all of this means. She’s back in town, yes, but does that mean she’s upstairs in her apartment?
If I showed up at her door, would she let me in?
Probably not. Unless she somehow became really okay with a lot of things over the last few days, I doubt she wants anything to do with me.
Likely won’t for a while, either.
Though if she hates you so much, why is she talking to your best friend?
I close my eyes, but as hard as I try, I just can’t stop thinking about going to her. Talking to her. Fuck, I’d even take just getting a glimpse of her. She doesn’t even need to talk to me at this point. I just need to see her and know that she’s alright.
Fuck it.
I grab my phone, leave my apartment, and nearly sprint to the elevator. I’m tempted to take the stairs, but with the way my heart pounds in my chest, I think I need the forced few moments to get my shit together.
And because I’m one unlucky son of a bitch, the elevator is stuck on the basement level.
Ugh, come on! I press the button five more times like it’ll make the damn thing work any faster.
My phone vibrates again, and I finally pull it out to read what I’m sure will be more annoying bullshit messages from Cooper, except it isn’t.
It’s her.
Cara: We should talk.
Lucian: Okay.
I don’t wait for the elevator. I take the stairs two at a time, not giving a single fuck about what state I’m in right now. All that concerns me is that she wants to talk.
That’s a good thing.
I think.
Pausing outside her door, I give myself to the count of five before rapping my knuckles against it. In hindsight, maybe I should have warned her I was on my way or even asked if this is what she meant, but it’s too late now.
When the door opens and I set eyes on my beautiful mate, my hound whines. Audibly.
“Lucian?”
“Hi.” Fuck, I feel like such an idiot.
“Were you just waiting in the hallway or something?”
“No, no. That would be creepy.” Kill me now.
“I was already on my way up here when I got your text. Cooper mentioned you were back in town, so I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Sorry, I shouldn’t have ambushed you like this.
I can go.” My hound whines again, and something that looks a hell of a lot like sympathy crosses Cara’s face.
“It’s fine, Lucian. You’re here now. We might as well get this over with.” She waves me inside, and I do my best to ignore the pain her words cause.
I enter her apartment like I have so many times before, but this one feels different. If she’s done with me, this might be the last time I ever set foot in here. It might even be the last time we’re ever alone together.
She leads me to the couch where she and my hound spent so many nights together watching movies and cuddling. He begs me to let him out, scratching at my insides until I wince.
“What’s wrong?”
Of course, she notices. But will she understand?
I consider not telling her, but keeping secrets is what got us in this mess to begin with, and it’s time I started trusting her ability to handle the truth.
“My hound really wants control. It’s hard for him to sit here with you and not be close. We’ll be fine, though.”
She looks away without saying anything, and I start to worry that maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. It hasn’t even been a week since she discovered the truth, and already I’m piling on.
“Let him out.”
“What?” I ask, because surely I must have misheard.
“Let your hound out. To be honest, I miss him too, and maybe it’ll be easier for me to open up with him.”
I try not to let her words sting. If she’s comfortable with my hound, that’s still a good thing. He clearly loves it, internally wagging his tail like an excited fool. Not that I blame him.
“Are you sure?”
All she does is nod.
Well, I guess we’re doing this then. I stand, intending to shift in the spare bedroom, but she stops me before I even get close.
“I’d like to watch, if that’s alright.”
Turning slowly, I let my gaze drift over her face, but all I see is sincerity. She’s being serious. “I, uh, have to take my clothes off first. Are you sure?”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked.”
I smile, shrugging. Here goes nothing. I strip down until all that’s left are my boxer briefs. She might say she’s fine with it, but I’ll gladly ruin these underwear and spare her a glimpse of my dick. At least until we figure out what the future holds for us.
She must sense my apprehension because she says, “I’m sure, Lucian. I promise.” Her gaze drops to the chain around my neck but doesn’t stray any lower.
Internally, my hound is pacing with excitement, and I swear if he and I weren’t on such good terms, he’d force the shift on us.
I take a deep breath and finally give him control. My hands and feet morph into paws, limbs and spine splintering until I’m standing on all fours, flames extinguished, and looking up at the woman I’m mated to.
My hound doesn’t waste a second. He bounds toward her, tail wagging, and she accepts him with open arms. I smell her tears before we feel them on our fur. She holds us close, gently squeezing as soft sobs wrack her body.
It’s both beautiful and painful all at once.
My hound nuzzles into her neck and licks her face, his breath lifting the hair on her shoulders as he breathes in quiet contemplation.
Neither of us moves for a while. I don’t know how long it is before she finally pulls away, and just like always, we relax into our usual positions on the couch.
Her cozied up under a blanket with us beside her—our head in her lap.
It feels like home.
She absentmindedly pats our head, scratching behind the ears and making us let out a throaty sigh. If I’d just been honest from the beginning, would things have been like this with us? Could they still?
“I’ve been pretty fucked up about everything that went down.
And to be honest, I considered avoiding you entirely, but now that you’re here, I’m glad I didn’t.
” She lifts our head up so our gazes lock.
“I don’t know how, but this feels the same as it did before.
Comfortable and safe. Protected. Somehow having you here on this couch still brings me peace. ”
My hound darts out his tongue and licks her forearm, making her smile.
“Is it the same for you?”
I know she’s worried our answer will be no, but how could it be? She’s our mate.
My hound nods and licks her again until she giggles. I could listen to that sound for the rest of my life. Depending on how the rest of today goes, maybe she’ll even let me.
“Coop—” she starts then stops. “I guess I shouldn’t call you that anymore, huh?”
My hound whines, and I realize Cara’s smile has vanished. She’s sad again.
“Lucian, if you can hear me, I don’t know how to forgive you for keeping all of this a secret from me.
I’m trying, but it hurts. I can’t figure out how to merge the connection I feel for you in this form, to the pain I feel from your betrayal in your human form.
” She stares into our eyes, and I wish she could hear what I’m thinking.
I wish I could speak in this form so I could explain.
Eventually she looks away and says, “Sometimes it feels like I’m going mad. ”
I can’t take her dejection anymore. I refuse to sit in silence, regardless of how much peace my hound might bring her. She needs to hear my words.
So I shift. My hound doesn’t fight me. No doubt he can sense how necessary it is that Cara hears what I have to say. The shift leaves me naked, but I grab a corner of the soft blanket draped across her lap and use it to hide my junk.
Alright, so maybe I didn’t fully think that through.
She’s staring at me, eyes wide and traveling over my flesh like she’s trying to memorize it.
“I’m sorry. For everything. When I realized you weren’t a threat and we became involved, I should have told you.
At the very least, you deserved to know the truth about the pet you adopted.
Please know I never intended to hurt you.
It got to the point where I was so afraid we’d lose you if you knew the truth.
That maybe you wouldn’t accept us. Accept me.
But if you had known, maybe you wouldn’t have been caught. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
“No, Lucian. Don’t do that. Your pack knew, and it didn’t protect them. It would have been the same for me. Honestly, I’d probably have been even more scared for your wellbeing if I’d known and had to watch you go off to save your pack like Elizabeth.”
I forgot that she would have met her and the rest of our pack, my mother included. Warmth spreads through my chest at her words. She’d have been scared. For me.
“I’d still have preferred you to be safe at the pack house than put in danger.”