Chapter 26
Cara
Four days have passed since I left the pack house.
Five since being taken.
Reagan still thought I’d run off with the carnival boy, and I didn’t correct her. How could I? She’d never believe the truth, even if it were something I could share.
Those secrets aren’t mine to tell.
Being with my mom has been torture, and I say that knowing I just escaped literal torture in another realm. The first day wasn’t too bad. I went on a solo shopping trip to grab clothes and toiletries, since I didn’t stop at my apartment to pack a bag, but all carefree enjoyment ended there.
My mom has been incessant. Not only does she want me to work at the family law firm after graduation, but she also thinks I’m living here with her in this cold mansion.
Hell no.
I’d rather get taken back to Lucian’s old realm and face the demon king than live here with my mother. Okay, so maybe that’s a touch extreme, but still.
This morning she told me we were due at the tennis club for an early morning match against some lawyers at the firm, but I faked an illness to get out of it. I almost wish I hadn’t, because instead of being concerned for her daughter, she used it as a reason to comment on my weight.
“Physical activity would do you wonders, dear. You’re in your final year and still carrying around the freshman fifteen.”
“Of course. I’ll consider being more active when I don’t feel like death.” Except even I know it doesn’t matter what I eat or how active I am. I was just dragged through the woods and into another dimension, and I only managed to gain weight, not lose it.
There’s no point in telling my mother that though, so I bear her disappointed stare until she leaves.
Once I’m finally, blissfully, alone, I head down to our small but well-stocked library and begin pouring over our family history books.
Coming here was a mistake. I realize that now.
My apartment, regardless of how painful it might be to enter for the first time and find it empty, is far better than coming here and dealing with my mother.
When I see her, I need to be prepared and at my strongest mentally to deal with her, something I’m certainly not feeling right now.
But it doesn’t mean I can’t make the most of it while I’m here. Maybe I’ll discover something of use in our family archives, and even if I don’t, I’m going home.
Back to my empty apartment and the emotions I’ve been too scared to face.
It feels good to be back in town, even if I did avoid entering my apartment. Other than sticking my arm through the door to drop off my new clothes, I haven’t been inside.
Yup, I’m a coward.
Instead of dwelling on my failures, I’m on my way to meet Cooper at the park. The man, not the pet I thought I had.
Before I left the pack house, he demanded we exchange numbers. I almost refused, but honestly, I like him. Coop protected me in the other realm without even really knowing who I am or what I was to his best friend. He told me things, and I didn’t feel like he betrayed me, unlike other hounds.
It's a little weird to be talking to him while avoiding Lucian, but he’s brought a little bit of peace to my life. Something I desperately need after what went down.
Every day since I left their pack house, he’s sent me memes and funny animal videos.
He didn’t bring up Lucian unless I did, which I appreciate, and even then he only answered my question about his wounds and moved on.
Apparently, Lucian is fine physically, but emotionally he’s a bit of a bore. Cooper’s words.
I didn’t touch that comment with a ten-foot pole.
Coop is already waiting on the bench, coffee and donuts in hand, when I show up. “You’re back early,” he says, handing me the hot cup.
I sigh. “Not fast enough.”
He eyes me as I take a sip. “I didn’t know what you took in your coffee, so hopefully that’s okay.”
Mmm, I do love me a mocha.
“It’s perfect.”
“So, it was a bust with your mom, but did you learn anything like you hoped?”
“Kind of,” I say, sitting back on the bench and taking in the view.
Buds are finally sprouting on the trees, a sure sign of spring.
“I mean, it’s not like there was a direct line that said who was human or not, but I have an idea.
In all the journals I read, everyone wrote about how my great-great-great-great-grandfather was this quirky foreigner who talked differently and had wild ideas of the world.
I don’t know much about angels, but it has to be him, right? ”
“It’s possible,” Coop says, offering me a gentle grin. “What’s his name? You can tell a lot about a person by their name, especially angels.”
“Marcius.”
He laughs. “Oh, that’s him. No doubt about it. Names don’t get more angelic than that. So what will you do now that you know?”
I shrug, not really sure what I can do. “I don’t know, move on with my life? Unless I find another living angel who just happens to know him, I think I’m shit out of luck.”
“I wish there was something I could do to help. Even finding out what they were doing so far away from Silver City would be nice. I don’t think it’s common for angels to leave their realm in favor of another.”
A little current of electricity races down my spine. “Silver City?” The name alone makes it sound beautiful.
“The angelic realm. Just as demons live in Obsidian City, angels have Silver City. I’ve never seen it, but I imagine it’s far brighter than where I come from.”
“Are hellhounds not allowed there?”
“You know, I’m not sure. I assume not, since we’ve always been mortal enemies or whatever, but wouldn’t that be cool if we could all coexist?”
A dream, for sure. “Thank you for not hating me purely because of what I am. I’m sure that wasn’t easy.”
He shrugs. “You’re just too damn likable. None of us would have stood a chance, even without the whole mate thing.”
There’s that word again. Mate. I searched until I was dizzy, but everything I learned only freaked me out more. I won’t know what it means to hounds specifically unless I ask, and with Coop here, maybe he can explain it in a way that doesn’t make me want to run away screaming.
“Lucian said I was his mate, but honestly I have no idea what it means. I feel a connection to him, certainly, but a mating bond? I dunno…”
“As a hound, he’d feel it differently. I’ve never been mated, so I’m probably not the best person to ask, but I’m told it can feel beautiful. Ethereal. Like when you meet them, suddenly you have the answer to your life’s purpose. Not sure I believe all that, but.” He shrugs. “Harry had a mate.”
Cooper grows silent as he mourns the hound who died in their old realm. I place my hand on his arm in silent comfort.
“She died before we escaped Obsidian City, and he described the pain of losing her as worse than death. Coming here muted his pain enough to keep living, though I think a part of him is happy to have died in our old realm, fighting against the very creatures who put his mate in jeopardy.”
I suck in a breath. “Demons killed her?”
He shakes his head. “An angel did. The demon king ordered his mate to hunt the angel they brought in for sport but failed to warn her they’d given the angel a weapon to make things more entertaining.”
If I didn’t despise this demon king already, I would after learning the sick shit he did. “It’s no wonder he glared at me, then. I don’t know what it’s like for hounds, but I hope they’re together in the afterlife, running wild and carefree.”
“I fully believe they are. Mates, once accepted and official, become intrinsically linked.”
I replay his words in my head, each time getting caught on the same two words. “What do you mean by accepted and official?” The glance he gives me screams that he knows exactly why I’m asking, but I brush it off.
“The mating mark.” Coop wiggles his brows, and I laugh. “In your case, Lucian would mark you and you would mark him, thus accepting one another as your bonded mate.”
“We’d mark each other? God, this is all a bit crazy, no?” I think of Harry and the scar he had on his neck. Teeth marks. That’s what it was.
“No, at least not to us. But I can understand how it might feel that way to you. Humans don’t really do mating like hounds. Most of you get married and divorced, or remarried, even. And though you aren’t fully human, you grew up as one. Their way is all you’ve known.”
He’s not wrong, though I have to give myself some credit.
It’s not like I’ve always fit in. Mythology and stories have always held a special place in my heart, and I never really felt like I fully belonged.
With everything I’ve discovered about myself over the last week, I suspect the angel blood flowing through my veins is the reason for that.
“You know, I thought I was far more easygoing about this stuff than most people, but now I’m not so sure. ”
“Well, let me ask you something. What bothers you more, that Lucian is a hellhound, or that he lied to you? Because from where I’m sitting, it seems to be his lies that have you all torn up. Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t be here with me right now.”
I want to scoff, but the more I think about it, the less I know the answer. Is it possible he’s right? And if he is, what does it say about me that I’m more bothered by a man being dishonest than the fact he isn’t a man at all?
“Are all hounds this wise?” I ask playfully, trying to lighten the mood and distract myself from the possibility that I’m even more messed up than I thought.
“If we were, you wouldn’t be in this predicament.”
“Touché,” I say with a laugh.
Cooper nudges me with his arm, and when I meet his gaze, I know whatever he’s going to say next is important.
“Not that you asked for my opinion, but I think you should talk to him. That doesn’t mean you have to give him another chance if that’s truly not what you want.
But for what it’s worth, I think you’re good for him.
And despite his recent lapse in judgment, I think he’s good for you, too. ”
We part ways not too long after that, his words echoing in my mind as I walk back to my empty apartment.
Maybe he’s right.
Not about being good for each other, because I’m not even sure I know the real Lucian, but sifting through my feelings now I realize that I am more bothered by his lies than his non-human status.
If I’m honest with myself, I don’t even really care that much that he’s a hellhound.
Maybe that will change if I ever see him physically shift, but I don’t think it will.
It takes me longer than I care to admit to work up the courage to walk through my door. As expected, there’s no massive dog waiting for me inside. Pangs of loneliness stab me in the heart, and I have to shut the spare bedroom door just to save myself further turmoil.
Knowing now that my dog Cooper was actually Lucian all along, I don’t understand how he always made it home before I did.
I suppose I could take the real Cooper’s advice and just buck up and ask.
You could also ask him to shift for you and love up on his hound like before.
I shake my head, trying to knock the thoughts out because I can’t do that.
Can I?
Try as I might, I don’t even finish putting away my new clothes before I break down, pull out my phone, and send a text.
Cara: We should talk.