Chapter 38
LEXI
“We never usually have such busy projects all year long,” Brian said, the following Thursday evening at four as he walked with me to the biggest conference room on the first floor.
“But this year, Mr. Walkers is determined to go all out and make Altika number one on the App Store. Which explains why we’ve all been working like crazy lately. ”
He paused outside the conference room. “And it also explains this,” he said.
The expansive room in the building was decorated with the company’s colors. A stage was set at the front with a podium, draped in a velvet cloth with the company’s logo emblazoned on the front.
Behind, on the wall, a large banner read Altika Inc.’s Excellence Awards.
“Fancy,” I muttered as I noticed that each table had a small flower bouquet placed at the center.
Brian snorted. “I wish they’d spend the money on giving us bonuses instead of this,” he said as he took a seat.
It had been a week since Jonah and I’d broken up.
I hadn’t heard a word from him. Not a single text or a call.
I’d picked up my phone a hundred times, wanting to reach out to him, but each time I forced myself to remember what he’d said.
While he was enjoying his time with me, I’d started wanting something more.
A relationship. Wanting him to be able to tell others that he was seeing someone, even if he couldn’t tell them who that person was.
He wouldn’t do that. And I wasn’t going to settle for less.
So I put my phone back each time, and hadn’t reached out to him either.
Missing him sucked.
In a moment, Stacey spotted us and waved to us from afar before walking over.
“How do you feel about pizza for an early dinner?” Stacey asked, pointing to the food that was being placed on tables by the wall.
“It’s better than no dinner,” I said.
My eyes felt a little watery, and I didn’t think I’d have the energy to make myself dinner when I got home, so I was going to grab a few slices of pizza now.
Stacey had been much warmer to me recently, and while she still hadn’t explained her sudden absences, she was spending a lot more time with me now, insisting I join her for coffee or short walks while we talked about our projects.
Today, while we waited in line for the pizza, she gave in. Brian was still back at the table, when Stacey leaned in closer to me and spoke.
“I was spending a lot of time with Rafael lately,” she said, “and it turned out he wasn’t completely honest.” She hesitated. “He’s married, apparently.”
“Oh,” I said. “Oh,” I repeated as the bigger implication of what she was saying hit me. “Were you two …?”
She nodded, dropping her gaze. “I feel so foolish. He didn’t have a wedding ring at work, and I assumed … well, it was my fault too. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him.
“When I found out he had a wife, I broke up with him immediately. He threatened to tell HR about us if I didn’t get back together with him, but I told him to go right ahead. I wasn’t going to be threatened.”
She paused, her voice tightening. “He tried bullying me a few times, but eventually gave up on that. Now we pretend nothing ever happened between us, though he still makes snide comments and tries to intimidate me when no one’s around. I don’t know how much more I can take.”
“I hope you don’t leave,” I said. “Brian jokes about being around the longest on our team, but he’s serious when he says you’re the most valuable person here. I believe it too.”
She gave me a grateful smile. “I hope I don’t have to leave as well. I like it here too. Apart from the Rafael thing.”
I did, and it highlighted why I should stay away from Jonah at all costs.
“By the way,” she admitted, “I thought I saw a lot of Rafael in you. The way you were being nice to management. It was one of Rafael’s signature traits. Sucking up to management instead of working. You aren’t like that, Lexi, not one bit. I’m sorry I was so harsh on you.”
I wasn’t sucking up to management, but I did have a past with the CEO. The thought made me feel uneasy.
We stood in a line of employees who were waiting for their spot in the buffet line. The line moved slowly so I let my gaze wander.
The chairs were arranged theater-style, all facing the podium, and a projector was set up to display a rolling slideshow of employee achievements while a technician discreetly checked the sound system.
The line moved ahead, and I shuffled forward just as Brian joined us.
I picked up a bottle of ice tea for myself before I looked around.
“What kind of pizza do you want?” a deep, gruff voice on the other side of the table asked, only to break off as I looked up.
I almost dropped my bottle of tea when I saw Jonah standing on the other side of the table, serving the employees pizza.
My jaw dropped, and next to me, Brian guffawed from behind as he leaned in.
“Didn’t you see the email? The folks from the C-suite are serving food to us,” he said while he evaluated Jonah’s mood.
He seemed to think it was good because he attempted to joke with Jonah.
“I guess not everyone reads the emails you send, sir,” he said and laughed, only to be met by Jonah’s impassive expression.
“Everyone reads my emails,” Jonah insisted with a dark look.
Brian shut up immediately, and Jonah turned to me.
“Pepperoni or cheese?” he demanded, his voice dropping low, but never losing that note of authority. His gaze had gone cold and distant.
I let my gaze rest on him for a moment, wishing I could relish the one day he was forced to give me his brief but intense attention. Instead, I seemed to get what seemed like a blaze of anger from his eyes.
“Lexi?” Brian prompted while I continued to gaze at Jonah, and after a few moments, he nudged me abruptly from behind.
I cast a glance backward at Brian’s touch just as Jonah gave Brian a livid look, his eyes zeroing in on the point of contact, where Brian had gently nudged his shoulder into my side.
“Do you make it a point to shove your female colleagues around?” Jonah demanded, his tone barely controlled, while Brian took a step back and mumbled an apology.
“I think the point of getting the C-suite folks to serve us food is to make you seem more approachable. Not to scare them away. Cheese, please,” I said finally.
Jonah scowled even more fiercely as he put both the cheese and pepperoni on my plate.
“I don’t care about being approachable,” Jonah said curtly. “I care about boundaries. About people remembering them.”
I took a step back, reeling from his comment, just as the brunette I’d seen days ago, Jill, walked up from behind Jonah. So, she was here.
Today, she was wearing a pretty red dress, and she tapped Jonah’s shoulder.
“What?” Jonah asked, turning his head a fraction of an inch as he looked at her over his shoulder.
“You need to see this picture I took last weekend,” she said as she leaned closer to Jonah with a captivating smile on her face, angling her phone in front of his face. Something about his expression made her think, and she stepped back and looked at me.
“Still serving our employees, Joe?” she asked.
It was a stinging reminder that I was just an employee to Jonah. He’d never be able to correct people to say I was anything more.
“Let me know if you need a break,” Jill continued, leaning in closer to him. “I can have Mark take over for you—”
I turned around before Jonah could respond to her. My heart was beating fast as I walked off to find a seat near the podium. I kept my eyes on the floor, feeling my cheeks heat and hoping no one could see the shock on my face.
She had leaned in to Jonah, at work. The ease with which she’d done that meant …
The emcee, smiling broadly, began to speak. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Altika’s Annual Excellence Awards Ceremony.”
I watched as Jonah strode up to the podium, passing mere inches from me, his expression unreadable. Jill edged closer to the stage, admiration evident on her face as she followed Jonah’s movements. Had they hooked up recently?
I looked away, my heart beating dismally as my emotions went all over the place, and I turned around quickly. The office employee awards party was supposed to be a quick thing, nothing fancy, and I couldn’t wait to get back home.
When Jonah managed to crack a smile at a loud cheer from Jill in the front row, a twinge of envy stabbed at me.
I’d pushed him away, I’d told him we needn’t be meeting anymore, and I still couldn’t stand the sight of the woman next to him. I couldn’t believe that the sight of her, sharing those knowing laughs, soaking up Jonah’s full attention, would affect me the way it had.
I turned sideways. Breathe, I reminded myself. I was just another person in the sea of faces, and just like the evening I’d seen him at the break room, this event would get over like I wasn’t even there.
Steeling myself, I froze when I heard Jonah call for attention.
“I need someone to help me hand out the prizes,” Jonah began, looking at my row. My cheeks flamed as his gaze passed over me.
Under the gaze of a hundred pairs of eyes, Jonah stubbornly ignored me and zeroed in on Jill. I held on longest, eyes burning with a plea he simply couldn’t see. Giving up, I stared down at my plate, dumbfounded, until I realized that sitting this close to the stage wouldn’t help.
“I’m good at this.” Jill rushed breathlessly to the stage while the emcee continued speaking, his words passing over my head like gibberish.
I took my chance and got up, heading back to where Stacey sat before Jonah could make me feel worse. I felt his eyes tracking me as I walked away, and when I reached her, she made room with a look of concern after seeing my anxiety.
“Everything okay?” she whispered as the emcee continued to speak.
“Yes. I just … wasn’t feeling good,” I whispered back.
She handed me a cookie. “Here, you look like you need it,” she said, her gaze going to my empty hands. “Where’s your pizza?”
I looked around, realizing that I’d left my plate and iced tea back at the front row.
“Go back and get it,” she whispered while the emcee spoke into the microphone.
“Nah, I’m not hungry anymore,” I told Stacey.
I checked my watch. It was four forty-five p.m., and I didn’t want to stay here. Watching Jill help Jonah with the awards, seeing her fingers touch his arm every time he handed one out, sent pangs of jealousy through me. I hated the kind of woman I was becoming.
“I think I’ll call it an early night,” I said, whispering to Stacey. In addition to wanting to distance myself from Jonah, I’d been feeling a little off all day, and now the itch at the back of my throat was more pronounced.
I longed to get home, curl up with a bowl of soup, and forget about Jonah. I hated being here with all my conflicting emotions and my brain trying to make sense of it and achieving nothing. I didn’t want to be in Jonah’s or Jill’s vicinity anymore.
“There’s alcohol later, you know that, right?” Brian asked from the other side.
I gave him a wry smile. “I’ll pass,” I told him, getting up and giving him a quick hug goodbye before quietly leaving the room.
Only when the door closed behind me and the sounds of the crowd, and Jonah’s voice became a low, distant murmur did I breathe out.
I’d seen the real Jonah before. I’d seen hints of him the very first night I slept with him.
The man back there wasn’t the real Jonah.
This was the facade he preferred people to see, maybe even believed himself.
But the real Jonah was nothing like the jerk he was being in there.
I didn’t belong there, I told myself. It was better to go somewhere I was actually wanted and welcomed. Evie would be thrilled to see me earlier than usual.