3. Jaxus
THREE
JAXUS
T his kingdom was a lot to get used to. So many different kinds of fae and such a densely populated city. I’d had to adjust so quickly, while acting as though nothing surprised me. Even with the story we had constructed about me having lived in a remote village, like Zaria once had, I still had to mask my reactions to so many things.
I was raised behind the veil of the Wild Mountains. I had never encountered anything that wasn’t a dragon until the day Nyx and Zaria had crash-landed in Kerani. When these outsiders arrived in our hidden world, the elders had been inclined to force them to stay to protect the secrecy that kept our dragon population safe. But Nyx appealed to them to let them go to save his ill-fated brother.
I didn’t fully understand what had driven me to petition the council to let me join them on their rescue, perhaps it was the Goddess’ will. But they agreed as long as we swore a blood oath which would guarantee that we kept their existence a secret, since we would die if we tried to speak of it once outside their wards. I had yet to regret the decision as it had led me to find Kiera, my ryder. Or at least she could be if I could pin her down to talk.
I never liked to assume someone was avoiding me, but after two weeks of vanishing into thin air whenever I was in the vicinity, I had to believe Kiera was. I was beginning to suspect her of being a very skilled mage with the power to simply disappear. And since I knew that was not possible, I was thoroughly confused.
“Is Kiera avoiding me?” I asked my new commander.
“What makes you ask?” Nyx played coy, and while we’d only known each other a few short weeks, I already knew his mannerisms. He didn’t want to get involved.
“Because she’s avoiding me.” I deadpanned.
Nyx locked eyes with me, then rolled his with a laugh. “I know.”
“I’m new to this, so correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t fae want to be ryders?” Dragons from Kerani didn’t have ryders since we were disconnected from the magic in the outside world. Our magic connected only to the Goddess in that isolated place. Out here, things were so different and as soon as we landed in the palace on that fateful day, I felt the call I had read so much about. It was a physical pull, a need to seek, to claim. Then I saw her and I knew.
That day and the days since were a difficult time for everyone and I was a newcomer, so I kept quiet to begin with. I confided in Nyx and Zaria about my suspicions, but I could see Kiera was grieving Kol. So I waited. But as time passed, the need grew and I couldn’t fight it any longer. On the day of the memorial I had to take myself off for a long flight so I didn’t blurt it out to her in the middle of everything .
“Mostly fae are honored to become ryders, yes. But Kiera—” He sighed and waved at me. “Follow me to my office.”
“This doesn’t sound good.” I held the door open for him and we slipped into the corridor.
The palace was massive, larger than even the Grand Library in Kerani. I needed a map maker to do a quick sketch for me so I didn’t have to have fae show me the way to places every day. Feeling like a child grew old quickly.
Nyx was helping me get acquainted with the palace and training facility since I’d agreed to stay and join the Flyers of the First Kingdom. I couldn’t leave now that I’d found my ryder, but I could not be idle. Nyx knew I would be a valuable lieutenant, which he had need of particularly after the loss of his brother, who would undoubtedly have been his second.
“It’s not bad.”
“But not good?” I shot him a side glance.
“It can be neutral.” Nyx held back a laugh.
“How did you get this position of power?” I teased back, falling into our easy rapport.
“Legacy.”
“Which is why legacies are dragon shit.” I grinned, knowing how much that would get to him.
“No better than a council of elders. Why should elders have all the say in how we are governed?”
I cringed internally. “I’ll have to give you that one, mate.”
“Merit is the best way to do it, but we can’t exactly when our bloodlines are tied to the magic.” Nyx was more thoughtful than most leaders. I respected him for it. It was one of the only other reasons I’d wanted to stay. Nyx was a dragon to respect, and serving under him in any realm would be an honor. I would have considered staying for that reason alone.
But there was Kiera.
The draw to her kept me rooted in place.
I couldn’t leave without her .
I couldn’t imagine returning home alone. Not in a world where she exists.
I barely knew her and still, I couldn’t even imagine a life going forward without her.
And we’d only ever had one real conversation. I sought her out after the memorial when I could no longer resist the pull. Told her as politely and gently as I could that she was my ryder. For her part, she took it with grace and informed me, equally polite, that she was a healer and healers were never ryders. She asked me for some time to process and research, and I agreed. Now, two more weeks had passed, and if I even sensed her near I would immediately feel her pull away.
When we were closed inside Nyx’s office, he took a seat behind his desk and sighed. “Please sit.”
I stood in front of his desk with my hands clasped behind my back. “So this is one of those kinds of talks?”
“Jaxus.” Nyx rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.
I did as he asked and sat.
“Kiera doesn’t want to be a ryder.”
“Forgive me for repeating myself, but don’t fae want to be ryders? Isn’t it an honor to be blessed by the Goddess in that way?”
“It is,” he confirmed.
“Then explain it to me.”
He adjusted, making it clear he didn’t like the reason he was about to give.
“Just spit it out. I’m a fae of truth and reality. I’d rather know what fault she finds in me.”
“She is a healer, and healers are—weird.”
“I understand completely. My closest friend back home is a healer, as you know, and Emrys is definitely a little strange.”
Nyx blinked.
“Where’s the lie?” I asked.
“There isn’t one. But I try not to speak ill of my friends. ”
“It’s not speaking ill of him. He’d tell you as much himself.”
“Okay, Kiera is a little stubborn—” he corrected himself when I lifted a brow. “A lot stubborn.”
“So she is happy with her duties as a healer and does not want her becoming a ryder to change her station? Why would it?”
“Because all of our ryders and flyers are in the military. There are no exceptions.” Nyx sat back.
“Not even for ones who teach?”
“Those are usually ones who have not found their bonded, their bonded died, or in special cases when their magic is more suited to teaching than combat.”
“Not having a choice seems kind of—” I pulled a face, not sure how to say what I wanted to without offending him. “Distasteful.”
“It’s the way it’s been since the Twelve Kingdoms were founded.”
“No wonder my people wanted nothing to do with that nonsense.” I laughed, and he joined me.
“Touché. But it’s the law here.”
“Can’t she get an exception because of her work?”
Nyx shook his head. “Not with how many flyers we’ve lost and the threat of the undead hanging over us. We can’t spare any. We don’t even know what her power will be once it’s melded with yours. It could be too valuable to lose.”
“Wouldn’t it be healing?” I was, of course, new to this, but it seemed clear.
“No, not necessarily. We’ve never had this happen, and we can’t assume.” Nyx exhaled heavily.
I felt bad for the weight he carried on his shoulders.
“I will try to speak to her.”
“If she will see you.” Nyx laughed and shook his head.
“Maybe you can help me with that?”