11. Jaxus
ELEVEN
JAXUS
“ T hank you for telling me, Kiera,” I hesitated, I didn’t want to spook her now that she had let me in. And we needed this if we were going to overcome her fear and fly together.
There was a moment when I thought she wouldn’t reply, but then her thoughts were there and it hit me like the rush of soaring on the wind. I had to close my eyes to prevent the swell of emotional relief I felt from showing.
“I can’t believe this is my life,” she huffed in my mind, half in frustration, half in wonder. But I’d take acceptance in any form.
“It’s not a future I thought would be mine either, but I think it could be really amazing if we embrace it together.”
There was a pause and I opened my eyes to find her watching me. Her hands were still safe in mine and I didn’t want to let go.
“So what now?” she asked, mind to mind, and I struggled to hide my joy that she was sitting beside me, her hands touching mine, and yet she chose to use our bond to speak the words to me.
“Now I show you that you can trust me,” I replied decisively.
Her face fell, but I didn’t give her time to argue. I stood, pulling her to her feet. She snatched her hands away, balling them up and tucking them into her armpits to stop me from getting them back. “No way. I’m not flying Jaxus.”
“I’m not going to push you to fly. I just want to show you how you can trust me.”
She eyed me untrustingly.
I held my hand to my heart. “I swear. This is not a trick to make you fly. You have my word.”
I held out my hand and after a moment of hesitation, she took it.
We walked in tense silence along the corridors and up two flights of stairs to the lowest landing in this part of the palace.
Kiera dug her heels in at the doors. “You said no flying.” she accused.
“No flying.” I reiterated.
“Then why do we need to go out there?”
I slipped into her mind once more, looking deep into her eyes as I did, delighted to find it still open to me. “Trust me, please?”
Her look said, ‘fine, but if you try anything, I’ll kill you in your sleep.’ Her mind stayed quiet. I think the look was sufficient, though, to be honest. She was a firecracker, my ryder.
She allowed me to open the door and lead her out onto the landing. She stayed just outside the doors, still some twenty feet from the edge. These landings were vast. They were built to take dragons, after all.
I dropped her hand and went to the hooks on the wall to get some rope. Then, dragged the bench seat away from the wall and over to a few feet from the edge .
When I turned to face her, she was shaking her head. “I’m not sitting there.”
“I won’t make you,” I reassured her, making a knot my grandfather taught me in the rope as I approached her. She was skittish, like the palace horses around dragons, and I realized it looked as though I was going to lasso her or something. I held up my hands, showing her I had no nefarious intentions.
“This is just a bit of security for you, that’s all. I thought you might feel safer up here if you were tethered to the pillar over there and, therefore, couldn’t fall.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a child. I know as long as I stay right here, I can’t fall. That’s good enough for me.”
“Is it?” I challenged. “I think you’re smarter than that.”
She scowled.
“You’re the smartest fae I’ve ever met, Kiera. Your fear is rational given your experience, but you deserve more than living under its oppression. You are intelligent enough to know your life would be infinitely better if you were free of fear.”
“I’ve led a happy life until now. On the ground, where I’m safe.”
“And you’re missing out,” I insisted. “Flying is the best feeling. There is no greater rush.”
“I’m quite content to live without it, thank you.”
“But that is no longer an option,” I said carefully. “Our bond will drive you mad eventually if you don’t allow yourself to satisfy it.”
“So what do you suggest?” she demanded. “Other than you forcing me to fly, which you said you wouldn’t do. I see no way past this.”
“I simply wanted to introduce you to my dragon, that’s all.” I shrugged. Feeling stupid for even thinking it would help.
Kiera pressed her lips together but didn’t look away.
“What is it?” I asked mind to mind, wondering why she seemed to be stopping herself from voicing her thoughts .
“I’m afraid if I see your dragon, I’ll feel compelled to—I don’t know, comply, I suppose. I know the fear won’t leave me, but if I spend time around a dragon I’m supposed to be Goddess blessed to be bound to, will it awaken some need in me I can’t fight?” she admitted in the sanctuary of our minds. Perhaps it was easier through this connection to admit the things she couldn’t say aloud.
“Would that be so bad? If it made you overcome the fear.”
“Yes! I’ll be miserable. I’m a healer, Jaxus. That’s who I am. I don’t want some fated instinct to kick in and take it all away. And I’ll vomit! I swear it. Just the idea turns my stomach.”
I laughed.
She fought a responding grin and lost. “Don’t laugh at me,” she said aloud, shoving me. Then she grabbed hold of me in a panic when I stumbled back a step as if she thought I might go over the edge that was twenty feet away.
“I’m not laughing at you. You’re adorable, that’s all,” I said before I could catch myself, then immediately regretted it.
However, when I looked at her, she was not horrified, only mildly embarrassed.
I had to take that as a good sign. She was warming to me.
“Listen,” I reasoned. “You can’t hide from it forever. A dragon is who I am. Let me do this. Let’s just get it done.”
She heaved in a huge breath and let it out in a sigh. “Fine, get it over with.”
I did not smile. I couldn’t afford to piss her off. But I wanted to.
This was so positive.
I began to make a loop in the rope to hitch her to the pillar as I’d planned.
“Put your damned rope away,” she said. “We’ll do it here. I’m not sitting on that bench.”
“Fair enough,” I conceded, tossing the rope to the side.
It was then I realized I was going to have to get naked in front of her. Clothes were not something I considered much until I left Kerani. Not that I spent my life naked, but clothes or not made no difference to my life or the lives of those around me. I merely wore them for convenience when they were convenient and didn’t when they were not.
Now, I was so conscious of stripping down in front of this female, allowing her to see me. I had to have a stern word with myself and just do it before I could overthink it more.
I whipped my tunic over my head and bent, lowering my pants and kicking them away.
Then, before I’d even fully stood, I shifted, filling the landing with my huge form, and gave myself a shake, stretching out my wings.
Then I turned to face her, showing her what I truly was.