18. Kiera
EIGHTEEN
KIERA
“ A re you ready for this?” Jaxus asked, looking down at me as we stood outside Nyx’s office.
“No. But it needs to be done.”
“Are you two going to come in or stand out there all day?” Nyx called from beyond the door. “You know dragons can hear really well, right?”
Jaxus opened the door and held it for me to pass, closing it behind us. “I’m a dragon too, remember?” he replied.
“Then you should have the sense not to have your little whispered conversations outside my door.”
“No one was whispering. We’ve come to talk to you,” I told him.
We had agreed to keep the focus solely on the undead today. He was going to resist, so telling him we were generally concerned for his mental state as well was going to push him over the edge. We needed him to see sense on one issue, then we would regroup and figure out how to approach the other.
“About?” He leaned forward, pressing the tips of his fingers to his lips.
“About the undead,” I replied firmly. I was calm and determined, Jaxus glancing at me with encouraging eyes. He was proud of me for standing behind my principles. This was for the poor soul in the dungeons.
“What about it?”
I leant forward to mirror him. “See, this is the problem, Nyx. You see him as an ‘it.’ That is an undead fae down there, a real soul. Goddess bless him. He may have had a family who loved him. He may still feel. We don’t know. All I know is there is nothing that can be done for him and I think it’s time to let him go to the Goddess. You can save him that way by ending his turmoil.”
“You can’t be sure nothing can be done,” he insisted.
“In the history of all the kingdoms, there is no record of reversing this kind of necromancy.”
“That you know of,” he scoffed. Then he leveled me with a glare. One that clearly conveyed that while I could never confirm it, he was vaguely aware that my family kept older records that were no longer thought to exist. Was he asking me to leave my work to go back home on this fool’s errand?
I glanced sideways at Jaxus because I was not willing to have anyone else aware of the family secret. Even my—flying partner, dragon, friend? This was ridiculous. I needed to get what he was to me figured out soon.
At my warning glance at Jaxus, Nyx seemed to back off.
“To my knowledge, yes. But as you know, if there is such information available, then the Healer on High would have a record. And we don’t.”
“Well then, try some new things.” He slapped his palm on his desk .
Jaxus tensed.
I dropped my chin to my chest to gather some patience. “I’ve been trying new things for weeks. There is nothing left to try. Keeping him chained to a table in the dungeons is just cruelty. Please see reason, Nyx. He did nothing wrong. He was captured and turned this way against his will. Won’t you help him the only way we can?”
Nyx glared. I needed him to see sense, but there was only one more push I could give him, and I feared the repercussions.
“I don’t enjoy prolonging the suffering of a fellow fae, but in the name of science, his sacrifice is worth the lives we could save. I must insist?—”
I was left with no other choice. “Would you want that for Kol?” I asked.
Nyx’s eyes flared. My stomach churned. It pained me to inflict that wound, but he left me no other way to get through to him.
Backed into a corner, Nyx turned on Jaxus rather than me. “And you’re here, why? For decoration, or do you have something to add?” he demanded.
“I’m here with my ryder, in full support of her professional opinion. We have worked tirelessly, researching and testing. Kiera is the best in her field, and I trust that she has left no stone unturned. But there is still nothing?—”
“There must be a way.” Nyx slammed his fist on the desk, cutting Jaxus off. “Kol?—”
“Kol is dead, my friend,” Jaxus soothed. “I saw it with my own eyes. You did not mistake what happened to him. He is not somewhere in the kingdoms, turned into an undead slave. He is with the Goddess. Take peace from that and help as many poor undead souls as we find to follow him to the Shores of Avalon along the way.”
Nyx hung his head and nodded. He chose to direct his wrath at his fellow dragon rather than his lifelong friend, but the pain he was in was mine to bear. Tears stung in my eyes, but I fought them.
“I’ll make the arrangements,” Jaxus said, standing.
“No,” Nyx stood too. “I’ll do it myself. It’s the least I can do.”
“Shall I summon a priest?” I offered.
“No, no one else should be involved. A healer can perform the ritual if necessary. Do you mind?”
I offered a sad smile. “Of course.”
After Nyx and Jaxus burned the undead in dragon fire and we took his ashes to the river to wash away to the Shores of Avalon, Nyx left us to find Zaria.
“Are you okay?” Jaxus asked, coming to a halt outside the healer’s wing.
“I’m better now, just worried about him.”
He nodded in agreement, staring in the direction Nyx had gone as if he could watch over him wherever he went.
“Are you okay?” I flipped his question back on him. We had both been physically and mentally drained by the events of the last few weeks, and he carried a lot on his shoulders.
“Yeah, I just need—” he cut himself off, looking almost guilty.
“What is it?” I frowned, concerned.
“I need to fly.” He looked away, as if saying he needed the thing I was refusing to do was somehow betraying me.
“Of course.”
His eyes met mine. “You don’t mind?”
“Why would I mind? We don’t need to waste our hours in the dungeons now, I’m sure you need to feel the wind on your wings.” As I spoke the words, a tug in my chest startled me. A pull on my center, not from him, I sensed the difference. This was something else. It was coming from within me. A need. The idea of experiencing the wind through my hair as we soared through the clouds.
I swallowed.
Shit.
This could not be that need to fly they were rambling on about the other night? I didn’t want to fly. How could I need something I didn’t want? This was madness. What was wrong with the Goddess? She surely needed a different hobby. Messing with my life was getting old.
Jaxus reached out and lifted my chin. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I—” I couldn’t say the words.
“Kiera,” he urged. “Tell me.”
I sighed. “I think I should—could I—what I mean is—” I let out a frustrated sound and pinched the bridge of my nose. Not able to meet his eye. “I’d like to go with you.” There. I got the words out—through gritted teeth admittedly, but it’s the thought that counts.
A smile broke out across Jaxus’ stupid, delighted face.
I raised a finger and held it high so it was right in front of his eyes. “Do not gloat.”
“I’m not gloating,” he insisted.
“Well, do not do.” I waved my hand around wildly, “Whatever that is. It’s annoying.”
He pressed his lips together, reigning in his glee.
“I don’t want to fly. I want to do literally anything else. The thought has my stomach turning over already. But?—”
“But you need to?” he offered, cautiously optimistic.
“Whatever,” I huffed. “If you drop me or let me fall, I’ll kill you.”
“Understood.”
“Don’t think I can’t make it hurt too. You might be a big dragon, but my grandmother taught me things about alchemy that there are laws to prevent.”
“Got it.” Jaxus smirked. “You die, I die.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Painfully,” he added to show he understood the level of my threat.
“Exactly.” I nodded resolutely.
With no warning, he shifted. Tearing through his clothes.
“What the?” I gasped, stepping back as he expanded before my eyes.
“I’m not giving you a chance to overthink this. Get on,” he spoke to my mind.
I looked down at myself. “I’m wearing robes.”
His big stupid dragon head tilted towards the doors to the healer’s wing and I rolled my eyes. Of course, there was a cabinet with the basics for shifters inside virtually every doorway in the damn place. It wouldn’t do to have shifters walking the halls with all their bits swinging about, would it?
“Bloody dragons have an answer for bloody everything,” I mumbled as I stalked away from him, towards the door.
“Solutions,” he corrected, mind to mind, as I let the door swing closed behind me. “We have solutions.”
I flipped him a rude gesture through the opaque glass.
“And great eyesight,” he added with an audible chuff I heard from inside.