35. Jaxus
THIRTY-FIVE
JAXUS
H er arousal lingered in my space, driving me nearly to madness in the absence.
Every one of my thoughts were occupied by her, and I’d been left to my own devices for the rest of the morning. She went to drop the plants off with her gran and then to the bathhouse and I spent the time torn between emotions, flipping from jealousy for those in the bathhouse, and regret for letting her leave the river.
I needed to burn off this energy, but without being able to fly, I had no means to work out any of my pent up desire. Thus, into madness I sank as I paced the outdoor decks, stretched between trees outside her house.
They must spend quite a lot of time outside here for the platforms to be so extensive. But hidden, too. I wandered to an out-of-the-way deck far up, nearly in the treetops, completely surrounded by foliage. Part of it was covered by a shelter that housed a few novels and a fireplace.
I scanned the novels, finding a surprise beloved favorite there. I was shocked this place had anything I recognized from home. As I flipped through the pages, her scent hit me. Like she’d fallen asleep reading, and the parchment had absorbed her essence. I returned it to its place and took a seat, jaw locked.
How was I to survive the rest of the day in this condition, let alone dinner?
I glanced around, sure this deck was well concealed. I needed some relief. I opened my leathers and wrapped my hand around my cock. A groan slipped from my lips in a shuddering exhale. I’d been tempted to do this in the river, but Kiera had been too close and would have heard.
I leaned back, tightening my grip. This was just the position I would love to be in with her over me, riding my face. My tongue and fingers inside her as she writhed in release. Her wetness staining my lips as she positioned herself, still quivering from her orgasm, to ride me.
My hand moved faster, the thought of her sinking onto my tip eclipsing everything else. How my cock would shift partly to stretch her wider until she couldn’t take anymore. My knot throbbing. The way she’d kiss me and taste herself there as I completely filled her, her tightness stretching around me.
I groaned as my orgasm barreled through me, breathing hitched as my cock hardened even further. Lengthening and thickening like it would to stay inside my mate, keeping her locked there. I spilled over my hand, chest heaving as I slowly came back to reality. I’d needed the release, but I wasn’t any more sated than when I’d started, and I was still hard.
“Fuck.”
A board creaked, and my gaze shot up, searching while my heart hammered in my chest .
“Who’s there?” I called as I quickly tucked my hardness back into my leathers and stood.
“Quite a show you were putting on.” Kiera teased, coming into view as I’d barely just covered myself. She wasn’t angry.
She was amused.
“Did you enjoy it?” I asked, mirroring her demeanor rather than making excuses. Had she been listening?
“I only caught the end, but as would anyone within a league with the sounds you were making.” Arousal came off her in waves.
“I do not even have the energy or restraint to care who hears.” I stepped into her.
She made a small sound I couldn’t read. “What depleted you so?”
“Fighting what you do to me is draining. It was this or bring an unwanted addition to dinner.” I righted my shirt. “How did you find me?”
“There is a secret door to this deck from my bedroom. I—um—could hear you.”
My luck. I flexed my jaw and swallowed back the lust that hadn’t seemed to diminish at all. “You?—”
She smiled, not shying away as I stalked into her space.
“You like me a little worked up, don’t you?”
“More than a little.”
I grabbed her jaw, lowering my mouth to hers. “It’s torture.”
“You’ll have to endure a bit more. We have an appointment with the curator of the archives,” she whispered over my lips.
“The Goddess must hate me today.”
She laughed, and I wanted to devour her smile.
Calanthe was the largest city in the Forest Kingdom, and it existed on many layers. A city without buildings all set into the forest and no need to take down a single tree. It was more alive than any place I’d been. We didn’t even boast such a lifestyle in Kerani. We traversed levels of interconnected rope bridges, spanning between gargantuan trees and interconnected platforms. Like the city lived with the trees, rising higher as the trees grew, allowing them to expand without hurting them.
Admiration for what they’d done settled on my shoulders as we walked side by side towards the archives. Because of the shade the massive ancient trees provided, the temperature was quite pleasant.
“This way.” Kiera stopped in front of a tree so big around it would be wider than my wingspan.
“Where?” I didn’t see stairs like the rest of the residences. Or anywhere to go. We’d hit a dead end.
Kiera laughed and put her palm to the bark, closing her eyes and bowing her head. Her whispered words were unintelligible, but their meaning came across anyway. She thanked the tree for its life after death in the service of their clan. A white line started at her hand and worked its way outward into the shape of a door.
“This tree succumbed to disease hundreds of years ago, and instead of felling it, they converted it. We have a few such honored places in Calanthe. We reserve them for special use.” She pushed the newly forged door open, revealing a well-lit hollowed inside.
We came out on a balcony. One of many all the way up and down the inside of the massive tree. From the ground to as far as I could make out, books and scrolls lined the curved walls. There must be hundreds of thousands of books in here.
There were fae in white robes tending to the books and others browsing. It was deadly silent, save for the sound of pages turning and books sliding off and on shelves. The great tomb of knowledge would rival our own in Kerani. Not even the King boasted a library half this size.
“Wow,” I said, looking between Kiera and the sight before me.
“It’s one of the things I miss, living in Amaya.” She inhaled slowly, letting her eyes fall closed.
The scent was thick but not of dust—of fresh parchment and ink and leather. The smell of books was overwhelming in the best way.
“Did you spend hours upon hours here when you were visiting Gran?”
“Always. Some nights, she had to drag me out at bedtime.” She smiled over at me. “I’m going to speak to the curator to see if she can point me in the right direction.”
“Is that wise?” I asked, meeting her eyes.
“They are appointed by my family. Their vows keep their silence, even within our clan.” She nodded like she had to reassure herself as well as me.
I followed her around and down to the base level where the librarians worked or sat at desks. She found one she seemed to know and spoke in hushed tones. I lingered, head tipped back, watching the many levels. The fae on the highest levels looked like ants.
How many stories did it stretch? I’d have to ask Kiera later.
She returned a few moments later. “We are going up. Nearly to the top.”
I looked at the stairs, glad the first flight had kept me in decent shape. We took them with Kiera in front of me. And she needed many breaks. I thought about picking her up and carrying her the rest of the way, but I knew she’d never forgive me.
When she stopped for the third time, I found a chair for her to sit on and dropped to one knee in front of her. “Is there not a better way?”
“No, there isn’t. ”
“What about for those who can’t get up the stairs? Surely, it needs to be accessible.” I glanced around for a solution.
“There are chairs that float. But those are reserved for?—”
I cut her off, “For those who need them?”
She shook her head, pressing a hand into her chest. “I’m fine as long as I rest.”
“Does it hurt?” I asked, alarm creeping into my voice as I put a hand on her cheek.
She pushed my hand away, giving a little shake of her head. “We can’t. Not here. Not when—” She didn’t have to finish. She was betrothed, and others knew it. We’d taken a risk at the river.
“I understand,” I redirected, trying a different way. “We are in a place full of healers. Won’t one of them come look at you?”
“Gran checked me over this morning. I’m okay, I swear.”
I took her word for it, even if I didn’t fully believe it, and pushed to my feet. “Can I not fetch the book for you?”
“No, I must search through the section and see if it even pertains to what I’m looking for.”
I ground my teeth, frustration filtering through my blood. I didn’t want to scare her, but as a healer, she should know pushing herself could cause permanent damage. And as someone who understood the delicate intricacies of healing more than most, I knew she should be letting her body recover. She was used to being overworked and not taking the time she needed for proper rest, but now that our magic had started to meld, I got a view of just how badly she’d depleted herself.
It strained our bond, pulling magic from my reserve constantly because she didn’t even have enough left for her life force. Not that I would ever deny her all the magic I possessed, but I wanted her to rebuild her own so she wasn’t running on empty constantly.
“What would you say to a patient if they were like this?”
“I would tell them to trust their own bodies.”
“And are you trusting yours right now? ”
She hesitated, “I’m trying to.”
This had to be the culture of their entire clan. Or maybe it was a broader issue in the Twelve Kingdoms. After seeing how the military operated, I wouldn’t be surprised if they all overworked themselves.
Nyx barely had any time to recover after his battle with Octavius and his brother dying. Before he was thrust into the position of leadership, I just felt like the Twelve Kingdoms and the King were failing everyone at every turn.
I didn’t know what I could do, but if I could affect a small change, maybe it would create a domino effect or at least protect those I cared about. We really couldn’t afford to lose any more dragons or healers, having both depleted to where they were burning life force to use their magic. Would it shorten their lives?
“Come on, we’re almost there. It’s just a few more floors.” Her breathing wasn’t ragged, it was slow, like her heart, as if it barely had enough energy to keep pumping.
“Let me get you something or carry you.” I turned to look for one of the fae in white.
“No, I’m fine. I promise. I will sit and rest, and I’ll be okay.” She forced a smile onto her lips, but it didn’t do anything for her hollow cheeks or the dark circles under her eyes.
I grabbed her hand forcing more magic through our connection. “Kiera?—”
She closed her eyes, moaning softly. When she realized what she’d done, she clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes going wide as she glanced around to see who heard. Thankfully, no one paid her any mind. “Thank you,” she said at length.
I nodded, not sure what else to say or do.
I didn’t want to think what would have happened to her had we never met. I don’t know how she did her job or what her reserves looked like before the poisoning, but this wasn’t good for her. I needed to find a few moments to speak to her gran about it. Maybe she already knew, but I had to get Kiera to listen to help somewhere, and Gran seemed like the only option. I’d need to do that after dinner.
I knew this was better than her trying to work in the palace, but it still seemed like she was going to push herself far beyond her means. And if neither of us could replenish her, what would we end up doing to ourselves?
Hours passed, and Kiera went through book after book, not finding what she seemed to need.
She slammed the book she’d been reading shut. “It’s not even close.”
“No, that’s what it seems like.”
“I don’t know where else it would be if it’s not in these.”
“What did your gran say?”
“She said we’d discuss it more in-depth later. After she’s had some time to let it marinate.”
“Marinate?”
“Yes, that’s what she calls letting the problems sit in the back of her brain. She says they have to steep and marinate like a potion.”
I laughed. “We should go. We don’t want to be late for dinner, and we have a few flights to get down.”
Kiera looked at the stairs and deflated. Like she’d forgotten that we came up and that we’d have to go back down.
“Let me get you the chair or help.”
“I don’t want to be seen as weak.” she hissed.
“You were poisoned. Surely, if anyone’s going to understand it, healers will.”
“You don’t know how they are.”
“I don’t have to know how they are. They should understand that healers are fae too, and if they need help, it’s not a weakness.” I knew then that they were part of the problem. Fuck.
Down was easier, but when she had to rest so much quicker, I clenched my teeth and looked at her.
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said before I could say anything.
“You’re going to fucking hear it.” I barely kept my voice restrained. “You’re either going to let me get you a chair, or I’m fucking carrying you down.”
I saw her recoil at my anger. I don’t think I’d ever used that tone with her. “I’m sorry,” I softened.
She tore her gaze away. “You’re not carrying me.”
“Then let me enquire about a floating chair. Who do I ask?”
We made it back to her treehouse without too much more fuss, but Kiera didn’t look like she could make it through dinner.
“Can’t we cancel? Shouldn’t you just go to bed?”
“No. It’s custom to gather when family returns, and I can’t come home without facing my betrothed. If I didn’t see him today, it would be a grave insult to his family.”
“Can’t they be told you’re ill?”
She shook her head. “I have an hour. I can rest before we have to go.”
I was going to end up killing every fucking fae in this kingdom if they didn’t let Kiera get some rest. I’d foolishly thought this trip would be a respite from the pressures of her work, but the pressures were even greater here, and it wasn’t even work. It was fucking politics and family obligations.
Regardless of my opinions, the time came and we were at Gran’s door.
“Are you ready for this?” Kiera asked me.
“No. Should I be?” I hadn’t even thought of asking her what to mentally prepare for .
Gran pulled open the door and, shockingly, pulled me into a hug. “May the Goddess protect you in this house of hostile healers, dragon.”
“Hostile? Do I need protection?” I glanced between them, but Gran giggled and pulled me inside without answering my question.