37. Jaxus
THIRTY-SEVEN
JAXUS
I had to block the thought of Kiera with that arrogant prick from my brain as I stalked towards Kiera’s treehouse. Imagining it caused too much pain. If that was her choice, to be with him, I would respect it, even if it would kill me. How, I did not know, but Kiera’s happiness would come before my own.
“Jaxus, wait,” Kiera called. I stopped short of the stairway to her home and didn’t turn. I breathed through my rage without facing her as she caught up to me. I would not use my frustration against her. None of this was her fault.
She stopped behind me and touched my back, training her fingers on my shoulder as she came around to face me. I stiffened.
“Please, don’t. I cannot handle it.” It was impossible to keep the strain out of my voice .
Kiera prickled, piercing gaze boring into mine. “What can’t you handle?”
I pressed my eyes closed because if I looked at her a second longer, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. “You.” It was the most honest I could be. How did I even begin to tell her what I felt for her? What knowing she was betrothed to that—that, fae, did to me. I couldn’t. Not when I’d been forced to lie to her since we met. It didn’t seem right. This was impossible.
“What about me? ” She sounded affronted.
I shook my head, keeping my eyes closed to not have to see her working through her emotions and adding to my own.
“What, Jaxus? Say it to my face,” she demanded. “You can’t handle me now that you see what being a healer really involves? My duty? My family? I didn’t choose any of this, but I cannot change what I am. And I’m still the same fae I was yesterday. So please, tell me what you suddenly can’t handle?” Her voice raised at the last and she got in my face, her delicate skin brushing mine.
“You miss the point.” My restraint wore thin. Could she not tell I was suffering? I backed up, but she followed until my back hit a tree.
She put her hands on her hips, pressing closer still. “Then explain it to me? You are stuck with all of me, so like you said, you’d better learn to live with this life.” Her hair wafted around her face in the breeze, submerging me in her scent.
I balled my hands into fists. “I just need time to process.”
“Process what? My life? That I had a life before you?” She poked a finger into my chest, and I grabbed her wrist. She glanced down. “Let go of me.”
“I am trying to respect you and your—commitments,” I said through my teeth. “All I asked for was time to process them.”
Her brow pinched, and her expression morphed. “Oh.” Whatever she’d come to realize might make or break the last dregs of my reserve .
Warmth grew between us like the deafening silence.
I released her hand, willing the Goddess to give me strength. “Like I said, I respect your life here and your free will. I merely asked for a moment?—”
She cut me off. “What if I don’t want you to respect those things?”
I blinked. “Pardon me?”
“You’re too respectful sometimes, Jaxus. Some of these things don’t deserve your respect. That dragon back there knew it—where did he go? He was all DRAGON in bold capitals, no respect for them and their bullshit, and not afraid to show it.”
“I try not to be that way if I can help it. It’s no way to behave?—”
She leaned in, putting her lips next to my ear. “I don’t want you to behave, Jaxus. I quite liked that dragon. ” Her warm breath fanned across my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. “He seems like he takes what he wants.”
I sucked in a breath. What was she saying? “But your betrothed?—”
“Are you going to let him stop you?” Her tongue curled at my earlobe and the dam broke.
I flipped us, lifting her as I did to press her into the tree. “Don’t toy with me, Firefly,” I breathed over her throat, my lips a millimeter away from devouring her. “Say I can have you if you mean it.”
She arched, pressing her hips into mine. Arousal coming off her in waves. I was a fucking goner. “No. If you want me, take me.”
Goddess save me. This female knew every button of mine.
I snarled at her throat, biting there but only briefly before letting her slide down me to her feet as I dropped to one knee. I hitched one of her legs over my shoulder and pressed my face into her pussy. I inhaled, her scent driving me wild.
She gasped, hands weaving into my hair. “Jaxus! ”
“You told me to take what I want.” I skimmed my nose over her, teasing.
“This wasn’t what I was expecting.” But she lifted her other leg over my shoulder, balancing between me and the tree.
“I gave you a chance to ask for what you wanted.” I laughed softly before flicking my tongue along the thin cloth separating me from what I wanted.
She squirmed, pressing her cunt against me. “Damn you.”
“Do you know how long I’ve been thinking about you riding my face?” I sucked before she could answer, tasting her wetness through the fabric with a groan.
“Is that what you were thinking of earlier.”
I growled against her. “Yes.”
She had no reply other than curses and whimpers.
“These need to come off before I ruin them.”
Her entire body flushed. “Take me upstairs.”
Reluctantly, I set her on the ground, both of us breathing hard. She offered her hand and we took the winding staircase together, but we didn’t make it past the entryway before I dropped to my knees at her feet again.
I took my time removing one boot and then the other, glancing up at her as I did. She watched as I curled my fingers into her breeches and slid them down. As much as I wanted an uninhibited taste of her, I didn’t take it, rising to my feet.
“Where are we going?” she asked as I backed her towards the kitchen.
I cut her off with a kiss, picking her up to carry her to her sleeping chamber. She wound her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, kissing me unabashedly and grinding herself over my rock-hard cock. All the reserve we’d had between us, gone.
I climbed onto her feather mattress with her still wrapped around me. She pulled at my tunic and I lifted my arms, letting her strip the fabric from my chest. I did the same to hers, leaving her in only undergarments.
“Lace?”
“I had to get you back for that stunt you pulled with just your little towel earlier!” She laughed, but if this was a punishment, she could do it as often as she wanted.
My hands encased her ribcage, thumb seeking out her nipples through the sheer fabric. She writhed in pleasure, arching off the mattress while her legs tightened around me, shamelessly rubbing against my hard-on. She shoved her hands into the back of my leathers, inching them down.
I grabbed her hip, pinning it to the bed. “Not until I’ve had what I want.”
She didn’t stop, not until I moved down between her legs, taking my pants out of her reach. Her heel slid down my back, lifting her hips. I drank in the image. The most beautiful fae I’d ever seen, barely covered by a scrap of fabric.
I growled deep in my chest, wanting to both devour her and bury myself inside her, to never come up for air. But I refused to rush, brushing my thumb over the lace before hooking it under to pull it aside so I could part her with my tongue.
Her arse lifted, grinding her pussy into my mouth. Her honey-sweet flavor met my tongue as I fucked it inside of her. She gasped, melting into the mattress, knees falling wide open, exposing all of her. I circled her clit with my thumb, teasing in and out of her, working her up. I sucked and sucked, knowing I’d never get enough of her.
She grabbed my hair, tightening like a coil ready to snap.
I didn’t let up, swirling my tongue over her core until she broke, writhing with whimpering moans and coming undone before me.
And it just made me hungry for more.
When she finally squirmed away, I kissed my way back up to her breasts, content to feast on her until she would have me again. Her nails dug into my back while I played, licking and sucking her nipples through the delicate fabric.
“You’re such a tease!” She dragged her nails over my shoulders and down my arms.
“Not as much as you are,” I said against her skin.
“Hardly!”
She reached between us, opening the tie of my leathers. I gave in, finding her mouth as she shoved them off.
I kicked off my pants before sitting back to remove the last scraps she called undergarments. She lay before me unabashed, knees open, on full display. The most beautiful fae in the Twelve Kingdoms.
I had to be inside her. I wouldn’t rest until I buried myself deep where I belonged.
I fell forward, bringing our bodies together for the first time. Skin on skin, magic sparking between us, the interwoven bands making me almost light-headed. “If you don’t want this, tell me now.”
“No.”
“No?” I gasped into her mouth, willing myself to pull away, to heed her wishes, but when I tried, she grabbed me. I searched her face. “Tell me to stop if that’s what you want.”
“You’ve made me ride you the way you wanted, and now I want to ride you the way I’ve been imagining for months.”
Thank the Goddess.
“Months?” I ached.
“Yes.” She hooked her leg over me and flipped us, coming up on top as she perched on her knees over me. “I want to watch.” She glanced down at my cock, perfectly positioned between her thighs, standing straight up from my body.
My hands slid around her arse to grip her hip so I could guide her down.
She met my gaze, allowing me to guide her onto my cock.