Chapter 11 #2
Kallie shook her head. It was during silent moments like these that Kallie wished the gods had granted her Myra’s or Fynn’s ability rather than her own. Although she could have asked Terin how he felt, Kallie opted not to. Some things, she supposed, weren’t meant to be uncovered.
The cool air swept through Terin’s brown waves that hung past his ear. Instead of saying what she wanted, she simply said, "You need a haircut."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Is this your way of saying goodbye? Because if so, there’s some room for improvement there."
Kallie gave a half-hearted shrug. "I’ve never really liked goodbyes."
He gave her a half-smile. "Then let us not call this goodbye."
"Terin," Kallie protested, not wanting to give him a false sense of hope. While she tried to believe she would succeed at manipulating the king, she did not know what would happen after. If she could beat Domitius at his own game, would she go to Pontia? Would she return to Ardentol? Would she find a cabin in the woods and live the rest of her days in solitude? Kallie had no idea, and she couldn’t afford to think about the answer to those questions. Not yet.
Thankfully, Terin didn’t push the subject. He tugged on a section of hair, his brows shooting up his forehead as he tried to look at the ends. "I suppose I do need a haircut, don’t I?"
The corner of Kallie’s mouth ticked up. "Only if you want one."
"Maybe when I return home, I will. I think I’ll enjoy having the wind fly through my hair on the ship." Terin shook his head, making his hair appear even more unruly.
Kallie laughed, but the sound was hollow and died as quickly as it came. "It gets in the way more than you think," she admitted. Although she wasn’t sure if she was talking about hair anymore.
He shrugged and kicked a small pebble on the ground, sending it skittering across the pathway. At first, the pebble headed straight down the path. Then it hit a lip in the stone and shot out to the right, disappearing into a rosebush.
"He’s going to be furious when he finds out," Terin said.
Kallie chewed on her bottom lip, worry rubbing it raw. "I know."
"He’ll go after you."
Kallie tilted her head toward the stars. "The hope is that we will be long gone before he can reach us."
"Tonight then?"
"Once everyone heads to bed." She already had her clothes laid out and her bag packed. She did not wish to stay any longer than she had to.
Ellie had received Domitius’ response earlier that morning.
To their surprise, he had agreed to each of their terms. They would meet in Borgania, in neutral territory.
No armies. Of course, neither Dani nor Kallie believed he would come alone.
He would at least bring a squadron with him.
But when Ellie suggested they bring a group of warriors just in case, both Kallie and Dani had rejected the suggestion. The fewer people involved, the better.
Kallie was no longer the king’s pet. He wouldn’t be able to control her. She could handle him.
A chill from the breeze crept up her bare arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps. She grabbed the ends of the shawl and pulled the fabric tighter, but the cashmere fabric did little to protect her from the cold.
Terin stepped closer, shielding her from the wind. "Have you even talked to him since the council meeting?"
He didn’t need to specify who; Kallie already knew.
She shook her head. "It’s for the best if I don’t."
"Is it?"
It was the same question she had been asking herself for the past several days.
She kept returning to the night she had spent with Graeson.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when the nightmares edged the corners of her mind, she yearned to go to him.
He was the one person who could make her forget, the one person who didn’t make her feel bad about being who she was. But she refused to use him.
While Kallie didn’t regret seeking him out before, she wondered if it would have been easier now if she hadn’t.
Even though Kallie hadn’t accepted the bond, which to her understanding was required for it to snap into place, Graeson was already in too deep.
He needed to understand that Kallie would never—could never accept it.
When she had discovered they were soul bonds, she vehemently opposed it, refusing to tie herself to another individual the first second she gained some semblance of freedom after being the king’s puppet. But now, her reasoning was even greater than that.
For his entire life, Graeson believed his mother to be dead.
Kallie was all too familiar with the complicated emotions that came with discovering a monumental truth such as that.
While Kallie wasn’t sure if she would get a chance to mend the strained relationship with her mother because of the divide that separated them, Graeson deserved one.
And Kallie would do whatever it took to give him that chance, even if it meant sacrificing whatever they could have been together to do it.
Dani’s warning was clear: accepting the bond would only damn them.
If Kallie failed and Domitius killed her, it would destroy Graeson.
She had seen the aftermath of the others locking him up when Cetia was undoing the web of lies woven into Kallie’s mind.
With Graeson’s power and the rage of a god within him, who knew what havoc would ensue if the worst happened?
She cared about Graeson too much. She cared about him more than she even wanted to admit. They would never become soul bonds because she had to protect him. She had to protect everyone.
"Take care of him, all right?" she croaked, voice wet with the remorse she failed to swallow.
"Kallie," Terin begged, "please don’t think like that."
"I have to. I’m not sure—" She choked on the words.
Terin grabbed her wrist tenderly and squeezed it. "I have faith in you."
Unable to hold his gaze for a second longer, Kallie ripped her hand from his and looked back at the castle. A warm glow hummed in the windows. People walked past, the dinner portion of the evening having ended.
"You should get back in there."
Sadness dimmed her brother’s brown eyes. "You should too."
"I will."
They both knew it was a lie, but she had to give him credit for not pointing it out.
Understanding he couldn’t convince her to change her mind, Terin started to walk away, but paused. His foot hovered in the air as though he wanted to step closer. In the end, though, he only leaned back on his heels.
"No matter what happens, I will always be here for you, sister."