Chapter 14
GRAESON
Standing at the edge of the dock, Graeson stared at the small ripples in the water as small orange and red fish swam beneath the surface.
Every time one jumped out of the water or popped its head up, the sun’s rays caught on their pearlescent scales.
The red and orange hues turned golden as if tiny fires illuminated the water’s surface.
A few fish dove beneath the small riverboat that bobbed up and down, waiting for its passengers, their bags already stored.
The bitter taste of goodbyes twisted in the wind around him. Most of the Tetrians had already said their farewells during the dinner the night before, so only a few people were gathered on the dock.
He could only imagine the stress Kalisandre was feeling.
She hadn’t been to Pontia since Fynn had passed.
Seeing the village would surely be hard for her.
But while Graeson wanted to be there for her, she made it clear last night that wasn’t his place.
He understood she did not wish to accept the soul bond, but he still cared for her. Was being friends truly off the table?
You have done enough.
Even now, he could hear the frustration vibrating in her throat when she had said those words. He had messed up. Without meaning to, he had pushed her too far, and because of that, he might have ruined everything.
He promised he would give her the space she wanted. Even if it hurt him to do so. Even if every instinct told him she needed someone to lean on, someone to watch over her. But maybe he wasn’t that person. Maybe he couldn’t be.
Graeson saw Terin’s reflection appear beside his in the water. Terin slapped him on the shoulder. "Ready?"
Graeson grunted, turning away from the river.
He wished he could say he was excited or even relieved to return home, but he wasn’t.
Not even in the slightest. His mother was still in a cell, locked up and at Domitius' mercy.
Every step he took felt like a betrayal.
How could he leave her? How could he not storm into Ardentol and rip the castle apart until he found her? Until he saved her?
He looked out toward those gathered on the dock. Despite the fresh heartache, Kalisandre was the first person he searched for. His brows knitted with concern when he still didn’t spot her in the crowd.
"Kalisandre still isn’t here."
"Oh," Terin said, scratching the back of his neck. "Someone said she was running late."
Graeson poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "Has she…has she talked to you?"
"About?"
Graeson shrugged. "Anything, really. She’s been avoiding me, and I’m sure she’s nervous about returning to Pontia."
"She has not been avoiding you," Terin argued.
Graeson’s jaw popped. "Yes, she has."
Terin snorted, but the sound was slightly forced. "You’re reading into things too much."
Graeson arched a brow. Was Terin that oblivious? "She admitted it last night."
"Oh." The tips of Terin’s ears poking through his dark brown hair burned pink. "I—I’m sure she has a good reason. She has a lot—"
"—on her mind," Graeson said, speaking over Terin and eyeing him quizzically. "I know. Are you sure you haven’t talked to her because that’s the same thing she told me?"
"It’s not that hard to figure out. She’s still working through everything—and there’s a lot to work through."
Graeson sensed the god studying the prince with a leeriness that twisted his insides into knots.
Something’s wrong, the god whispered, his voice slithering around his mind.
Graeson narrowed his gaze. "Terin," he said, his hand twitching.
"Hmm?" The prince didn’t look him in the eye.
Before he knew what he was doing, Graeson snatched Terin by the collar. "Where is she?"
"What do you mean?" he stammered, eyes wide.
A deep growl hummed in his throat, and Graeson tightened his grip.
The fabric in his hand wrinkled, the cotton fibers stretching, pulling.
Straining. Someone called out to Graeson as the attention of the crowd was drawn toward them, but Graeson didn’t pay them any attention.
Not as red seeped into the corners of his vision and the god bristled.
"Sh-she—" Frantically, Terin looked all around him, everywhere except at Graeson.
He was hiding something.
"Gray," Dani warned, "let him go."
Graeson’s anger rose to his eardrums. Every other sound turned into a monotonous hum as he lifted the prince up onto his toes. "Not until he tells me where the fuck she is," he growled.
"I don’t know!" his friend shouted.
Lie, the god roared. He’s lying.
"I am not lying. I-I don’t know where she is. She—" Terin gulped, his eyes darting to the others.
The bars of the mental cage rattled, the metal creaking, heating. Smoke filled Graeson’s lungs as the god tried to break free.
"She left, Graeson." Dani’s words came at him like an arrow piercing him in the chest.
Graeson’s vision quaked. The nerves in his fingers went numb. Pain spiked along his spine.
In an instant, Terin fell to the ground, his knees smacking against the planks. The prince nearly tipped over the dock, but he narrowly caught himself, curling his hands around the edge of the wooden planks.
Every inch of Graeson’s body felt like it was burning from the inside out.
"What do you mean, she left?" Graeson demanded, his control slipping.
"She ran away," Dani said.
"Do you really blame her?" Emmett mumbled near the boat. "You’re frightening the shit out of me right now." He took a step back and waved a finger at Graeson. "Your eyes are doing that weird glowing thing."
"They do do that, don’t they?" Sylvia asked, hands propped on their hips and head cocked.
"Shut up!" Graeson yelled, the rumble of his voice shaking the very platform they stood on. Every bone, every muscle vibrated with rage as the people in front of him gawked at him with fear in their eyes. The only people foolish enough not to avert their gazes were his friends. But right now, he wasn’t sure if he could call Dani and Terin that.
"If someone doesn’t tell me right now where Kalisandre is, I’ll—"
"You’ll what? Hmm?" Dani challenged, inching closer.
"Don’t, Dani," Terin warned.
"No. I want to hear this. What are you going to do, Gray? Because I don’t think Kallie will take too kindly to an outburst. Did you stop and think that perhaps you were the reason she left? That maybe she left because you can barely control yourself?" She tilted her head to the side, eyeing him.
Under her scrutiny, the god pushed at the barriers of his cell. Do not listen to them. They preach only lies, only falsities.
Yet Graeson couldn’t help but wonder if there was some truth to Dani’s claim. Kalisandre might have comforted him when he had nearly lost control that day in the woods, but maybe she had finally gained some clarity. Maybe she finally saw the monster he was, the danger he was.
Barnithian’s voice swept across him, spinning around him. You were born to tear this world apart, to burn it to the ground.
Dani smirked. "It gets worse and worse every day, doesn’t it?
You’re hanging on by a thread. I can see it; we all see it.
I bet Kallie sees it too. So let her go.
" She was toe-to-toe with him now, and the god peeled back his lips, snarling.
"Life isn’t some fairytale, Graeson. You have always known that there was only a small chance that the two of you would be together in the end. "
Graeson bit down, his jaw cracking.
"You pretend as if love conquers all, but it doesn’t. Some things you cannot change. Some things have already been decided by fate, and the sooner you realize that, the easier it’s going to be. You’re not some hero who can save everyone. If you try, even more people are going to die."
As Dani went on, a warning bell rang in his ears. Something Dani had said swirled in the back of his mind. What had Kalisandre told him last night?
This isn’t some fairytale, Graeson
Their phrasing was too similar, nearly exact. There was no way it was a coincidence.
The bars of the cell bent back, and the god slipped an arm through the gap.
When Graeson spoke, his words were clipped. "What the fuck did you say to her, Danisinia?"
"I said what had to be said. I said what you were too afraid to admit to her."
Movement behind Dani caught Graeson’s attention. Medenia twisted her hands together, and a look of sorrow drenched her expression. His gaze slipped to the people around her.
The witchling, the god hissed. She’s not here.
Ellie would not have missed sending them off. She gave Graeson so much crap when she didn’t receive a proper goodbye the last time they visited Tetria.
"Medenia, where is Ellie?" Graeson asked, his temperature rising.
"Where she needs to be," the princess stated, her lips set in a firm line.
Graeson took a step back, slamming his eyes shut. The betrayal of his closest friends hit deep in his core. He shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, they had gone behind his back to rifle through Kalisandre’s mind, so why wouldn’t they keep this away from him too?
"Please," he begged, his worst fears rising, "just tell me she didn’t go to him. That she’s not planning on doing something reckless."
Silence answered him.
With his heartbeat pulsating in his throat, he opened his eyes. Hanging on to the last dredge of his control, he looked at each one of them. "When did she leave?"
Terin released a heavy sigh, defeat dragging his shoulders down. "Last night."
Graeson cursed and stormed forward.
Emmett immediately retreated several steps, hands up. "If it’s any consolation, I have no fucking clue what’s going on," he whispered.
Sylvia scoffed. "And for a good reason."
Graeson ignored them both. He snatched his bag from the canoe, but Terin reached for it at the same time.
"Have faith in her, Gray." Terin tugged the strap, forcing Graeson to halt.
"He will kill her!" Graeson ripped the bag from his best friend’s fingers.
"She’s stronger than you give her credit for."
"I know she’s strong, but Domitius cannot be bested. Not like this. He will suspect something is amiss the moment he sees her. This isn’t—" Graeson stumbled over his words. "This isn’t fair."
Terin sidestepped in front of him and blocked his path. "She wants to do this, so let her. It’s what she would want."
"No, it’s what she thinks she deserves," Graeson corrected. "There’s a difference, and if you can’t see that, I pity those you will rule over one day."
Terin’s jaw fell open, but Graeson didn’t stop to see if he would pick it up off the ground. He shoved his way through the crowd. Kalisandre already had a half-day’s head start. He had to move.
"Graeson, where are you going?" Medenia asked, following him.
"To find Kalisandre and be some ignorant hero, apparently," Graeson shouted back.
"Heroes sacrifice themselves. But if you try to stop her, you’ll only be the villain in her story," Dani yelled after him.
Graeson didn’t stop.
The history books could call him whatever the historians wanted. If there was a story to write about, that meant at least one of them would survive this. And he would be damned if Kalisandre simply became a martyr.