Chapter 15
KALLIE
Silence was a constant companion as Kallie and Ellie traveled through the swamps of Tetria. The horses made their way slowly, finding the least treacherous path and weaving between the cypress trees with ease.
Ellie had advised Kallie to let the horse lead while in the queendom, but Kallie had not seen the advice for the warning that it was. Now, she regretted not having listened to it more closely.
The moment Kallie had tried to sway her horse one way, Winter released a disgruntled whinny in protest. Kallie should have listened at that point, but she hadn’t.
Instead, she was too determined to put as much distance between them and Graeson before he inevitably came running.
She hadn’t realized her mistake until Winter reared, her front hooves pawing the air.
And by then, it was too late. Kallie rolled off Winter’s back and landed in the muck with a splat.
It took over three tries and two near face plants before she could get her feet out of the thick mud.
Ellie had snickered behind a hand, her bemused expression saying what she dared not to speak aloud: I told you so.
Nearly an hour later, Kallie’s pants were still wet.
"How are you doing back there?" Ellie asked, failing to hide her grin when she looked back at Kallie.
While Kallie had done her best to wipe off the mud, clumps of it remained stuck in her hair. When she turned her neck, she felt the dried muck cracking, and it sent a shiver down her spine. She feared even an hour’s soak wouldn’t rid her skin of the stench of rotten eggs.
"Could be better," Kallie grumbled, adjusting her positioning. Every time she shifted on the saddle, the damp fabric of her trousers clung to her skin. "This really isn’t helping my fear of horses, though."
Ellie snorted. "Graeson mentioned that silly fear of yours once."
Kallie grimaced at the mention of Graeson, but she was thankful Ellie didn’t question it and instead turned around.
"Do you think your fear is because of Domitius?" Ellie asked, curious.
Everyone had always thought Kallie’s fear of horses was irrational, a strange phobia that had appeared out of nowhere. But now that Kallie knew that the recurring nightmare of a horse dragging her away was actually a memory, the phobia made sense.
Kallie lifted a shoulder haphazardly. "Most likely."
"You’re holding your own better than I expected," Ellie remarked thoughtfully.
Kallie supposed she was.
Still, while she may have been managing her fear, she did not enjoy it by any means.
Everything hurt. The arches of her feet ached from the stirrups, her hips screamed in agony from sitting astride the horse for so long, and even the vertebrae in her spine protested every bump.
The rough rope of the reins had reopened the calluses from sword fighting that had finally healed.
Still, despite the discomfort and ounce of mistrust between her and Winter, Kallie didn’t tremble with trepidation.
Mulling the realization over, she said, "I suppose I have you to thank for that."
"Me? What for?"
"You assisted the queen that night. If it wasn’t for the two of you—"
Ellie pulled at her reins, and Kallie swallowed the rest of her explanation as she braced for impact. Thankfully, Winter’s reactions were quicker than Kallie’s, and the horse stopped in time to prevent a full-on collision.
"You give us too much credit," Ellie said. "While the queen is powerful and I’ve learned a great deal from her, we are not miracle workers. We simply opened the pathways. You did all the work after that."
"I don’t understand," Kallie stammered.
Ellie tightened her slick-back ponytail and draped her snow-white hair over her shoulder. "You were the one who cut the cord. You were the one who ripped apart the handmaiden’s work. It was your will that persevered. Give yourself more credit, Kalisandre. You freed yourself; no one else did."
Could that be true? Kallie had assumed that it was Cetia and Ellie’s work that had vanquished Myra’s manipulations. Was it possible that she had done more than she thought to break the hold?
Kallie’s eyes widened as she thought of something else. "Did you…were you able to see what was happening?"
Ellie shook her head. "It doesn’t work like that. We read and react to one’s aura, the pressure and strain on the body." She grimaced and wrinkled her nose. "Although…"
"What? What is it?" Kallie demanded, nervous.
"While we were not privy to what was going on inside your mind, we could hear you when you spoke."
The tips of Kallie’s ears flamed red. "Wh-what did I say? What did you hear?"
Ellie’s mouth twitched. "I tried not to listen too much. You were kind of whiny, to be honest."
Kallie’s jaw fell open. "Whiny? Do you know how painful that was?"
Ellie barked out a laugh, and Kallie narrowed her gaze.
"You’re messing with me, aren’t you?"
"A little," Ellie admitted, amusement wrinkling the corners of her eyes.
Kallie tossed her head back in frustration.
"Sorry, but you’re so gullible right now. I couldn’t help it," Ellie said.
As if that made up for it.
Ellie released a heavy sigh, and when she spoke, her tone grew serious once more. "Kalisandre, the mind is a powerful thing. Although you harbor much darkness, if you let yourself, you could be even stronger than you think possible."
Kallie blinked at the sky. Her eyes stung from the wind and the sour aroma—or at least that’s what she told herself.
If only it was that easy to believe in her strength.
She might have been freed from Domitius, but she still had plenty of work to do before she could fix the broken pieces inside her.
"We are often the ones who get in our own way of achieving greatness," Ellie added after a moment. Then, with a quick snap of the reins, she trotted down the makeshift path.
With no direction from Kallie, Winter followed.
As the birds flitted from one tree to another, the warrior’s words repeated over and over again in Kallie’s mind.
Kallie knew there was some truth to them, but she didn’t know if she was capable of getting out of her way.
Because even though she may have broken Myra’s hold on her, Kallie could still hear Domitius' voice in the back of her head.
She wondered if she would be strong enough when she faced him or if this was all a waste of time.