Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
It had been three days since the unfortunate accident already.
Esther had still not woken up entirely, constantly drifting in and out of consciousness.
Ian had been unable to leave her bedside, not willing to stay away from her even for a single second.
Though he hadn’t been alone. Ruth, her lady’s maid, had remained beside her religiously.
Despite that, she had never uttered a single word to Ian.
The two stayed beside Esther, minding their own business.
Ian would sit beside her as he held her hand, whispering sweet nothings to her.
He couldn’t say much in front of Ruth but tried his best to whisper as many encouraging remarks as he possibly could.
He prayed day and night for Esther to wake up.
Mr. Oliver visited her every day and always gave Ian good news. Her concussion was not allowing her to wake up fully, but Mr. Oliver was positive that it was only a matter of time before that happened. Her color had gotten better, and Ian noticed that she even looked a bit stronger than before.
Even today, Ian had been seated beside her since morning.
Mr. Oliver hadn’t made his daily visit yet, and Ian knew that he would probably be arriving soon.
Ruth had gone down to the kitchen for lunch, and Ian was glad to have some alone time with Esther.
He hardly got any private moments with her where he could tell her how sorry he was about everything that had happened.
He had a feeling that she could hear him, and Ian wanted her to know everything he felt.
“Esther, please wake up, my darling,” he whispered softly.
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t woken up in the last three days, but even awake, she hadn’t been fully in her senses.
She had mumbled incoherent words and had fallen asleep again.
Though Mr. Oliver had told Ian that sleep was better for her in such a condition.
When she was sleeping, her body and mind healed far more quickly.
As Ian stared at her unconscious form on the bed, he thought that nothing came close to what he felt for her.
Dressed simply in a white night dress, she looked like an angel.
Ian knew that she would be angry with him and would probably not even wish to see his face ever again after waking up.
Despite all of that, he still sat quietly holding her hand, simply staring at her.
“Esther, I love you so much. I know I was trying to deny this feeling, but I can’t do it any longer.
I have fallen in love with you and need you with me.
I know that you hate me and do not wish to be with me, but I can’t imagine a life without you.
I love you, my darling. I love you so much,” Ian whispered, his eyes glazing with tears.
He was overcome with emotion and had said all of it without truly realizing what he was saying.
As soon as he uttered the words ‘love’, he too was stunned.
He couldn’t believe that he had just confessed to being in love with Esther.
Before he could think about anything else or think over his words, he heard a knock at the door of the bed chamber.
Ruth entered shortly after and bowed in front of Ian formally.
“My Lord, the physician has come to see Lady Esther,” she announced, and Ian nodded. He blinked fervently, willing for the tears to go away at once.
“Bring him in,” Ian answered once he had gained control over his voice.
Ruth walked out and came back inside with Mr. Oliver behind her.
“Lord Gilbert,” Mr. Oliver greeted Ian before walking towards the bed. Ian moved away to give him space so he could check Esther properly.
“If you could step out,” Mr. Oliver said, like every other time he had visited Esther. Ian would have wanted to stay beside her during the examination.
“Of course,” Ian answered and walked out but stood right outside the door.
He still couldn’t believe that he had told Esther he loved her. The words had come unbidden from his heart. Ian wished for her to actually be awake so he could tell her the same words again. He would whisper them to her until she believed everything he had to say.
Ian was so caught up in his thoughts that he failed to notice when Adam arrived just outside the door of the guest bed chamber and stood beside Ian.
“Ian,” Adam said softly, and Ian turned to stare at him, clearly startled. This was the first time the two brothers had been alone in years. Even though Adam had been in London for a while, the brothers had only met in public.
Ian didn’t wish to be alone with Adam at all, especially right now. The last three days had been the most stressful days of his life, and he had no desire to be tortured anymore.
“What are you doing here?” Ian asked not caring if he sounded rude.
“I, uh, came to inquire about Lady Esther’s condition,” Adam said, clearly hesitant. Ian didn’t know why he was suddenly trying to act as if nothing was wrong between them.
“She is much better now, thank you for asking,” Ian replied formally, not wishing to go into much detail. Adam was the last person he wanted to see right now. He was only waiting for Mr. Oliver to be done with Esther so he could go sit beside her and hold her hand once again.
“I am very sorry about what happened to Lady Esther. I am sure you must be devastated. I can see the way you are taking care of her, and it is evident in your eyes anyway,” Adam said, and Ian nodded.
He could sense something different about Adam today, something that hadn’t been there when they conversed at the soiree.
He seemed more real, the way he used to be.
Ian could see a glimpse of the brother he had known and loved.
“You are too kind Adam,” Ian said shortly, not wanting to warm up to his brother. Adam had never once apologized about what had happened three years ago or tried to contact Ian after his wedding.
“Ian, can I apologize about something?” Adam suddenly said, forcing Ian to turn and stare at him. Ian didn’t know why they were having this conversation three years later.
“About what?” Ian asked, acting indifferent. He didn’t wish for Adam to see how disturbed he was about Esther and everything else around him.
“About everything that happened between us three years ago. I am very sorry for being such a terrible brother, and trust me, I regret how I handled things. I never should have allowed the matter to escalate as far as they did and I should have told you all about it earlier,” Adam said, stopping for a minute to breathe.
He sighed deeply before continuing. “I couldn’t help it, Ian.
I was in love with Lisa. I had fallen for her way too hard and way too fast. Things got out of hand.
I wish things had happened differently, but I am sorry for causing you so much pain and hurt.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. ”
Ian stayed silent for several heartbeats as he continued staring at Adam’s face. The look in his eyes was sincere, and Ian knew that he was telling the truth. He looked apologetic, and Ian felt as if he finally understood Adam’s position.
There was no control in love. Ian finally understood the feeling.
He knew now that he had never been in love with Lisa at all.
He had only been courting her because he found her beautiful, but Adam had really fallen in love with her, precisely the way that Ian had fallen in love with Esther, truly and completely.
Ian no longer had any doubts about his feelings.
He knew that he loved Esther. She was the first woman he had these feelings for and would be the last. His emotions for her ran deep, and he couldn’t help but remember everything George had said to him when he had gone to Jackson’s.
Everything happened for a reason and Adam falling in love with Lisa was simply a steppingstone that had led Ian to eventually reach Esther.
She was his true destiny, his soul mate.
He couldn’t believe that it had taken Adam’s return into his life to make him realize that he was in love with Esther.
After all, the feelings were loud and clear in his mind.
He had no idea why he had been ignoring them all this while when he should have addressed them the very first time he felt them.
Esther Chapple was the love of his life, and he could no longer deny it.
“It is all right Adam. These are all the matters of the past now. I have forgiven you,” Ian said with a smile.
It felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from his mind and heart.
He loved his brother and never wanted to be estranged from him.
This apology from Adam had made things easier for Ian, and he knew that he no longer needed to be away from his younger brother.
“Have you really?” Adam asked, disbelief shining in his voice.
Ian nodded and extended a hand towards Adam.
“I should have done it long ago, brother,” Ian said, and Adam stared at his hand for two seconds before holding it enthusiastically with both his hands. He was just about to say something when the door of the guest bed chamber opened, and Mr. Oliver walked outside with a smile on his face.
Ian’s attention shifted towards the physician, and he swiftly walked in his direction.
“She is much better now, Lord Gilbert, and I am happy to inform you that she is also awake. You should go see her,” The physician said, and a smile quickly graced Ian’s lips. He couldn’t believe that Esther was awake. This meant that her head injury was healing well, and she would be better soon.
Ian was hesitant, knowing that Esther probably didn’t wish to see him but knew that he needed to go anyway. After all, how could he stay away from the woman who was the one and only love of his life? Ian knew that he needed to see her, no matter how the events would unfold.