Chapter 39 #2
“Esther, I never planned to fall in love with you. It was unexpected, but now I know that love is supposed to be unexpected. We cannot plan it for fate has already done that for us. I was foolish, Esther, very foolish. I should have told you everything the moment I understood, but I was scared that you would hate me. I thought you would never understand. Esther, you have no idea how deeply I feel for you. I would die if I were to lose you. Esther, please don’t leave me.
I love you,” Ian said, his voice breaking.
It was difficult for him to keep emotions out of his tone.
He stared at Esther, willing for her to say something but she remained quiet.
“Esther, I will do anything for you. Let me prove it to you. I will do anything for you, my darling. I am ready to give up my title, my wealth and all my lands for you. We can move to America and make a life for ourselves there. We could live happily there with one another, not caring about anything or anyone else. Just say the word, and we will do it,” Ian said.
He meant every single word he uttered because he now knew that the title or the money didn’t matter to him at all.
The only thing he wanted was Esther, the only person he needed was her.
She was the source of his peace and happiness, and he would do anything for her.
He continued staring into her eyes as she finally looked up at him, her face a picture of heartbreak.
If she agreed to be with him, he was ready to accept any conditions she would establish.
Esther stared into Ian’s eyes, and the only thing she saw in them was sincerity, honesty and, love for her. She could see that he meant everything he had said and would actually give up his dukedom and all his father’s money if she would ask him to.
Esther couldn’t deny that she was madly in love with him. She, too, couldn’t imagine a life without him. Since the day she had met him again, her love for him had only grown.
“Do you really have nothing to say, Esther?” Ian whispered, his face expressing the pain he felt.
Esther wanted to speak but felt as if she couldn’t. Tears were threatening to escape her eyes, and she was trying her best to stay strong. She didn’t wish to break down in front of Ian.
“All right, Esther. You don’t have to say anything to me.
I understand your decision, and I respect it.
I just want to apologize for being the cause of your hurt.
I am sorry about everything wrong I did.
I love you, Esther, and thus I am willing to set you free.
I can never force you to marry me when you do not want to.
I will take the blame, and no one will ever say anything to you, I promise,” Ian whispered, a lone tear escaping his left eye as he said those words.
He stood up from her bedside and turned around to leave.
Esther stared at him with widened eyes, unable to believe him.
She knew that Ian could easily marry her since they were engaged.
Esther would never tell anyone what had actually happened that day, and Ian was in a position of power here.
The mere fact that he was ready to leave her for her happiness made Esther’s heart swell with love.
She no longer had any doubts about Ian’s love for her.
She knew that he was honest. He loved her just as much as she loved him.
She could no longer control the tears that were threatening to escape and allowed them to flow freely.
“Ian, stop,” Esther whispered, her voice soft. He immediately turned around and sat down beside her again, hope shining in his eyes.
“Yes, my love?” He said, his tone affectionate. With his hand he wiped the moisture from her face, making Esther feel more loved than she had ever felt in her entire life.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Esther questioned, her voice breaking up because of the sobs.
“Do you really?” Ian questioned, his voice overcome with emotion.
“I am madly in love with you, Ian, and I can’t live without you either,” Esther whispered as she noticed how Ian’s handsome face turned up into a radiant smile. He looked like she had made him the happiest man alive.
Ian moved even closer to her and leaned in a little. Esther understood his intentions and turned up her face to look into his beautiful hazel eyes. Her heart thudded into her chest as Ian came forward and engulfed Esther’s lips with his.
She opened her lips beneath his, allowing him to deepen the kiss. He kissed her desperately, stealing her breath and pouring every word of love he had confessed into the joining of their mouths.
Heat rushed through Esther so swiftly that she trembled. Her fingers curled into the front of his shirt and for a startled instant, she did not know what to do. Then his lips moved over hers again and instinct overcame her uncertainty.
Ian released a rough sound from the back of his throat before his tongue touched hers. It sent a violent thrill through Esther, but she welcomed him eagerly, learning the shape and taste of his kiss while he taught her how to answer it.
Esther lifted both hands and buried them in his chestnut hair. She pulled him closer, needing to feel that he was truly there and that he belonged to her.
Ian kissed her harder.
The bed dipped beneath his weight as he eased himself beside her.
Esther remained cradled by the pillows while Ian supported himself on one forearm, keeping the hard strength of his body close without allowing any of his weight to settle against her injured ribs.
Even that careful nearness made a deep ache awaken between her thighs.
“Ian,” she breathed against his mouth.
He kissed her again before she could say more. His hand slid from her cheek into her hair, cradling the back of her head with exquisite care and avoiding the bandage wrapped around her temple.
“I thought I had lost you,” he whispered. His voice was hoarse with emotion. “I feared you would look at me and feel nothing but hatred.”
“I could never hate you.”
His hazel eyes searched hers. The open devotion in them made Esther’s chest tighten.
“I love you,” he said. “There is nothing in this world I would place before you again.”
“I love you too.”
He bent his head and captured her mouth again while his hands moved to the lapels of his coat.
Esther heard the fabric slide from his shoulders and fall upon the carpet. Ian barely paused. His mouth left hers only to travel across her cheek and along the delicate line of her jaw.
She tilted her head, offering him greater access without a moment’s hesitation. His lips found the sensitive place below her ear, and the first hot stroke of his tongue made her gasp.
Esther clutched his shoulders as he kissed his way down her neck.
His mouth was warm and demanding, his tongue tracing the places his lips had explored.
Each kiss left her skin burning. By the time he reached her collarbone, her breaths were coming too quickly and her entire body had become painfully aware of him.
“You are so beautiful,” Ian murmured against her skin.
His words caused a different kind of ache to spread through her.
“You truly believe that?” she whispered.
Ian lifted his head. His brows drew together, and his hand rose to caress her flushed cheek.
Ian lifted his head and caressed her flushed cheek. “Esther, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Your eyes, your hair, your lips, the softness of your body. Every part of you torments me.”
The roughness of his final words sent another pulse of heat between her thighs.
His gaze searched hers before dropping briefly to the bed beneath her. Esther understood his hesitation. She was unmarried, recovering from an injury and lying in a bedchamber with a man who had already taken more risks with her reputation than either of them ought to have allowed.
“Are you certain?” he asked. “Once I begin, I do not know whether I will possess the strength to leave you untouched.”
Esther reached for the buttons of his shirt while his arm slid behind her. Her fingers were clumsy with urgency, but she managed to free one button and then another. Beneath the fine linen, she discovered warm skin and the firm muscles of his chest.
Ian groaned into her mouth when her fingertips brushed over him.
Encouraged, Esther pushed his shirt apart and ran both hands across his bare chest. She had never touched a man this way. The strength beneath her palms fascinated her. His muscles tightened wherever she explored, and the knowledge that she could affect him filled her with intoxicating confidence.
Ian’s hand found the ribbon tied at the throat of her night rail. He loosened the bow slowly, his eyes never leaving hers, then slipped his fingers beneath the soft fabric and drew it away from one shoulder.
His lips followed the path he uncovered. He kissed the pale curve of her shoulder before easing the night rail lower, taking care not to pull her forward or disturb her ribs. Esther remained supported by the pillows while he bared her inch by careful inch.
Their mouths parted only when their clothing made it necessary.
Ian pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it beside his discarded coat. Esther stared openly at him. His shoulders were broad, his chest beautifully formed and lightly covered with dark hair. He was more magnificent than she had imagined.
Esther touched him again, spreading her fingers over the warmth of his chest. Ian’s muscles tightened beneath her palm. The reaction made her bolder, and she traced the firm ridges of his body while he removed his waistcoat, cravat and boots with hurried, impatient movements.
Then he returned his attention to her.
Supporting her injured side with one hand, Ian gathered the loose night rail and drew it carefully over her hips and down her legs. When the last fold of linen slipped from Esther’s body, Ian stopped. The abrupt absence of his touch left her breathless.