Chapter 22
For most of his life, Kaden was aware that people made snap judgments about him or the things he chose to do.
It was a big part of the reason why he had become so closed off. He didn’t like having to explain himself. He didn’t really like being asked questions after the years of torture for information that he didn’t have and didn’t know anything about.
If Emily had decided that she didn’t want to hear the truth from him and would much rather make her own assumptions, he wasn’t going to force anything otherwise.
But since she had become important to him, he would give it one last shot.
As Shona said, he could make a gesture and prove just how important she was to him.
Even if it was uncomfortable.
Kaden did feel rather foolish sitting atop his horse like this in the early morning hours. Emily had started coming down for breakfast to uphold her end of the bargain, but she would rush off directly after. It wasn’t presenting the right front for them.
There was no telling if she was even going to come to him after he had invited her, and the sun was already starting to rise higher in the sky.
Just when he was about to give up, she walked out of the castle. Her journal was clutched safely against her chest. She wore her wariness in every inch of her face, but mercy, she was a vision. It had become rather impossible to tear his eyes away from her when they shared a space.
Even yesterday afternoon, when she had been so cross with him, he hadn’t wanted to leave her room. It wasn’t in his nature to leave an argument half finished either. He had spent far too many years of his life being uncomfortable to continue.
The knot in his chest slowly started to loosen. He took this to mean that at least he had a chance at resolving the issue.
“I am still angry with ye.” It was the first thing that came out of her mouth.
“Does that affect yer ability to ride a horse?” he asked.
Her eyebrow rose. “With ye? It might.”
“If ye prefer to walk, just say the word.” Kaden sat back in the saddle, waiting for her answer.
Emily cast a long look down the road that he clearly intended for them to take. Trees as far as the eye could see. He doubted very much that she knew her way through the forest, as she had only made that ride a couple of times.
He watched her make her stubborn calculations, and when she was finished, he patted the saddle in front of him. She passed her journal to him, as if she was going to mount on her own. But Kaden swung down from his horse and lifted her easily up into the saddle.
He wished that he could say he was enough of a gentleman to ignore the flashes of leg that he got as a result, but he wasn’t.
He admired every inch of skin that he saw with relish.
Memories of her taste and her little moans flooded him, and suddenly, he doubted this was the best way to make things better with her.
No, he had a mission.
He mounted behind her and might have enjoyed wrapping his arms around her a little bit more than he otherwise ought to, but he wasn’t going to apologize for it either.
Their journey to the village was short but silent. She made no complaints about their proximity, and every attempt at conversation that he made fell short.
This must be the version of her that most people got, and he had to say that he wasn’t exactly fond of it.
The moment the village came into view, Emily gasped, as if the sight in front of her was something novel that she hadn’t seen before.
From the limited interactions that he had with her father, Kaden supposed that it wasn’t all that surprising that she hadn’t gotten out of her home often.
She didn’t ask any questions, but he slowed down as they rode down the streets with the shops that seemed to catch her attention the most. Dressmakers and apothecaries, the village square, and then finally the reason for their visit—the bookshop.
Kaden dismounted and tethered his horse before reaching for Emily’s hand. She hesitated for a moment before accepting it.
“Where have ye brought me?”
Kaden glanced up at the very obvious sign above the bookshop and raised an eyebrow instead of answering what he assumed was a redundant question.
“What are we doing here?” Emily asked.
Kaden moved to the door and pulled it open for her to walk in, which she did, albeit anxiously.
The scent of parchment and ink was nearly overwhelming. It certainly wasn’t his favorite place to be, as books weren’t his strongest suit. But this wasn’t about him.
He turned to the shopkeeper with a nod of his head.
“Me Laird! Ye have come so quickly!”
“Of course,” he answered.
“I have the book that ye requested right here.”
The shopkeeper lifted a deep brown cover with even fainter brown lettering on the side that Kaden didn’t fully recognize, but it wasn’t for him. He knew that it had caught Emily’s attention, as she gasped and quickly hurried over to the book.
“Oh! Me Lady, I daenae see ye behind the Laird. Welcome!”
Emily put the pieces together quickly as she always did. She thumbed through the contents of the book and quickly turned to Kaden. She lifted her journal to him. “Did ye read it?”
He shook his head. “Nay, I didnae read it. But I did see the note that ye left in the wee corner there.” He pointed a finger in the direction of the relevant page. “The library at the castle is impressive, but hasnae been updated since me faither was alive.”
Emily glanced around the shelves that were starting to bow under the weight of so many different books of every genre.
“I thought that perhaps ye might like the opportunity to update it?” Kaden asked honestly.
Emily didn’t seem to believe him at first. “Me?”
He nodded and stepped aside so that she could see the rest of the shelves.
“Truly?”
“Would ye like me to take it back?” he teased.
Finally, he saw a glimpse of the woman he had come to care for as she straightened.
“Nay!” she exclaimed and rushed quickly toward the shelves like a child being given a brand new toy. “How many can I choose?”
Her voice floated through the air from somewhere deeper in the shop. He started to move toward it slowly. “As many as ye like. Consider it an early wedding gift if ye like.”
Emily’s head popped around a corner, and she flashed him a bright smile that hinted perhaps she was going to forgive him just enough to allow him to explain.
It was a wonder to watch her work. Her need to know so many things was impressive. Emily must have chosen at least two books in every genre that she had found, and didn’t seem to show any signs of slowing.
She had easily chosen a dozen books by the time she had finished. Kaden had found a stool at the front of the shop and sat down, waiting. He would have to arrange for the books to be delivered to the castle.
Part of him wondered if she was testing him to see if he was going to end up limiting the number of books that she could choose, but he didn’t. She gave him a particular look each time she brought another book over, her smirk almost challenging as she slipped one book onto the stack after another.
Hours passed, and her enthusiasm didn’t wane.
Couldn’t she tell that he would happily gift her the entire shop if that was what she truly wanted?
Kaden arranged for all the books to be sent back to the castle with the next delivery of dry goods that were on standing order.
Watching her take in the various shops and interact with the people they passed almost felt like stepping into the past for him.
There had been a time when people didn’t cross the street rather than speak with him.
There had been a time when eye contact didn’t feel so forbidden.
More often than not, he felt like a storm cloud that darkened the days of those around him.
Which made being a laird very simple, but interacting with his people? Not so much.
Emily didn’t have any such reservations. She seemed to have no issues interacting with those around her, and her reputation didn’t stop her from doing just about anything. In fact, the rumors or rare instances that people recognized her only seemed to fuel her further.
As the sun started to set, Kaden guided her toward the local tavern for dinner. There was no way they would make it back to the castle in time for supper before the kitchens closed. Besides, he wasn’t quite ready to end his time with Emily as his captive audience.
When they walked inside, Kaden made sure to choose a secluded table so that they could finally speak to one another in peace. At least that was the goal. If he were lucky, a glass of whiskey or three would help them clear up any other misunderstanding as well.
“Thank ye for today,” Emily said as their drinks and food were brought over to the table.
The tavern wench lingered just a little longer than was strictly necessary before leaving them alone once again.
“It was nothing,” Kaden answered honestly.
“Ye didnae have to buy me any of those things.”
Kaden shrugged. “Perhaps nae, but ye are going to live at the castle too, and ye deserve to have it feel like home to ye as well.”
Emily scoffed. “Well then, ye have already failed. I would have to continue feeling deeply uncomfortable for it to feel like home.” She shook her head, making light of the comment that she had just made. “Nae that it was all bad, but it stopped feeling like me true home a long while ago.”
Kaden nodded. “I ken what ye mean. I daenae ken if the castle will ever feel truly like home.”
“I cannae imagine what it would be like, to never quite feel safe.”
Kaden’s brow furrowed. “Nay? I would have thought that ye might ken a thing or two about that, having had to live with two other men.”
It was a shameless tactic to get more information and an invitation for her to speak all at the same time.
“I willnae say that it was comfortable, but I think that is different. They were never going to be me home for different reasons,” she admitted, drinking her wine slowly.