Chapter 21
Just what am I supposed to do with this information?
The thought kept rolling around and around in Emily’s mind. She supposed that this was simply a thing that wives had to endure, was it not?
Whether she liked it or not, she had always heard that men liked to keep the company of more than one woman. While she had never heard about her father having mistresses, her mother had certainly talked about it.
When they were setting the terms of their agreement, it was the least he could have done to mention that it was his intention, so that she could have made her own choice on the matter. Perhaps she would have made another choice, or not agreed to anything at all.
Maggie was on the bed, her wee head resting on her paws, watching as Emily anxiously paced back and forth.
She was likely to wear a track in the carpet at this rate.
She wrung her hands anxiously as she attempted to figure out what her next move was going to be.
Her father wouldn’t take her back. She wasn’t welcome back to Reid Castle, and he had made that perfectly clear to her.
And yet, she had no intention of being a second-string woman.
Kaden shouldn’t have kissed her. That was all there was to it.
It was selfish. It was cruel. It was misleading, and he should never have touched her. Shouldn’t have hinted or implied that he wanted to have anything more with her, only to turn around and—
Emily stopped that train of thought.
She was hurt. She was jealous. Both things that she wanted nothing to do with. She wasn’t this woman. She wasn’t the lady who worried about a man or centered him in her life. She had more important things to worry about, and yet she still felt like crying.
What was wrong with her?
She needed to pull herself together.
The pain was a knot in her chest that she couldn’t even start to tug at. It was helplessly knotted and—
A knock at her bedroom door interrupted that train of thought. Something that on any other day would have irritated her endlessly, but today she was grateful for the distraction. Not that she could think of a single person that she wished to speak to right now.
Did she want to invite the person in?
Her eyes flicked to the lock that she had forgotten to latch, when the door swung open… and Kaden invited himself inside.
All the hurt that had been bubbling inside her turned into anger instantly. Like steam rising from water tossed on hot stones.
“Have ye nay manners?” Emily snapped.
“Excuse me?”
“That would be a start,” she huffed and placed her hands on her hips. “Just what do ye think that ye are doing, barging into a lass’s private quarters?! Ye said that this room would be for me and me alone! Ye said that I wouldnae be bothered!”
Kaden’s eyebrow rose, clearly confused by her temper. “What could I possibly be interrupting to cause ye to bark at me so?”
“Bark? Just what are ye inferring?” Emily gasped at the inference that he might be calling her a bad name.
If that was the case, he was going to have another thing coming because she was also not the sort of woman to allow a man to insult her and get away with it.
Kaden clearly was attempting to be the level-headed one, but his shoulders tensed and rose to his ears regardless. “I am nae implying anything.”
Emily scoffed. “Ye ken, I am nae usually wrong about people. But here ye are, opening yer mouth and proving that ye arenae the laird I assumed ye were. Ye ken, I daenae think that I have ever seen a man who can lie as easily as ye so clearly do!”
Kaden blinked rapidly in confusion.
“If ye wished to live separate lives in so far as ye wished to have separate lovers as well, then that is the verra least ye could have said to me!” Emily made a large sweeping gesture, as if he ought to be his own guest. “I wouldnae have let ye put yer hands on me for one. I would have been fine with it so long as ye had informed me! I willnae stand for having me choice taken from me, Kaden. I can swear that to ye.”
Kaden lifted his hands in surrender. “Am I supposed to ken what it is that ye are talking about? If ye wish to pick a fight, can ye nae at least let me ken what it is that we are fighting about?”
“Daenae play fool with me!” Emily nearly shouted. The thin control that she had on her temper was rapidly fraying, and she couldn’t even attempt to grasp at the edges of it. “However, I will insist that ye be more discreet. I willnae tolerate another display of what I have just witnessed.”
Kaden glanced over his shoulder at the door as if he could somehow see the event that she was referring to. Eventually, it seemed to dawn on him that he had been caught with another woman.
He nearly rolled his eyes as he turned back around to face Emily. She crossed her arms firmly over her chest in what she hoped was a show of bravado that she didn’t feel in the slightest. She wouldn’t allow him to see that he had hurt her. She would rather die.
She also didn’t care for the arrogant, smug look on his face as he regarded her.
“Ah, I think I ken what ye are referring to,” he said finally.
It was confirmation and not enough at all.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
Why did he truly need her to be his wife if he already had a woman here? Was everything that had happened between them nothing more than a lie? Did she have to spend the rest of her time here doubting every single thing that he said?
She would never be able to work in those conditions, let alone live her life like that.
Instead of explaining or even apologizing for being dishonest, he stalked toward her with a look that she couldn’t read. She hated how quickly her body responded to his. It was a traitor.
“So, ye think that ye understood what ye saw?” he asked with a smirk as he stepped toward her. Emily backed away, not wanting to be so close to him. “And ye think that ye will be just fine, sharing me with another woman? Is that was ye are attempting to say?”
Emily forced bravado and shrugged her shoulders. “Why should I care? It’s nae a real marriage anyway, right?”
“I see.” Kaden nodded and closed the distance further, that impish smirk still playing on his lips.
It was now her least favorite expression.
How could she have ever found it charming before?
Kaden reached out and placed a hand on her hip, pulling her back to him before she could stop him. His touch was different than the last time—harder, bruising, and possessive. There was something in his dark eyes as he looked down at her.
“Ye would be fine with me touching another woman like this? Feeling another against me?”
Of course she wasn’t.
“Unhand me,” she hissed, pushing at his chest in protest.
“Because let me tell ye, if another man tried to put his hands on ye like this, tried to feel yer softness, tried to hear the sounds ye make when ye come undone…” His words faded into a possessive growl that shuddered right down her spine.
Her shoves weakened slightly, but she couldn’t let him think that she was surrendering. The boldness of his words caused an embarrassed flush to creep up her face.
Damn her, she couldn’t even stop that.
“Have ye nay shame?!” she snapped. She attempted to pull away, but Kaden only tightened his grip. “Ye are hurting me!”
It wasn’t completely true, but he didn’t need to know that.
Kaden held her gaze for a moment longer before pulling away from her. The moment his grip on her waist loosened, she practically danced out of his grip and wrapped her arms around herself.
“Whatever ye think it is that ye saw—” he started.
“Dosenae matter,” she interrupted.
Kaden sighed. “Nay, it’s important that ye listen to me.”
“Listening to ye is what got me here in the first place!”
Emily no longer wanted to have this conversation. She wanted to be anywhere other than here. Perhaps she could smuggle some of the books that she needed into one of his carriages, pack up her things, and be on her way.
She didn’t know where she would go, but perhaps her mother would have pity on her and would lend her some supplies or money for a stay at an inn or something of the like. Then, she would be able to take a little bit of time to collect herself and figure out her next move.
Emily knew that if she could just publish her own book, she would be able to provide for herself. Couldn’t she?
But the notion of leaving Kaden, even knowing what she knew now, hurt.
She didn’t want to leave. But what choice was he giving her?
Kaden pulled her journal from behind him and held it out to her. She had left so quickly that she hadn’t even really realized she had left it behind. She reached out nervously and took it, clutching it protectively against her chest.
He hadn’t read any of it, had he? If he did, what did he think?
He was entirely too quiet.
“I didnae come here to fight with ye,” he said gently. “I ken that ye are upset. I will make peace with ye.”
Emily wanted to make a sarcastic retort about how a man like him was unlikely to even know what peace looked like, other than reading treaties from other lands. But she refrained. Barely.
“Tomorrow morning, ye will accompany me somewhere.”
Emily’s eyebrow arched. She didn’t want to go anywhere with him. Her heart was still hurting.
“I willnae.”
“Ye will. I’m nae asking.”
“Obviously.” Emily turned so that she didn’t have to look at him any longer.
“Tomorrow morning, wear one of yer comfortable dresses, and bring that with ye,” Kaden said, with a nod to her journal.
With that, he left the room.