Chapter 20
Since Kaden didn’t expect her until dinner, she was going to just have to make the most of the time that she had been given.
The very last thing she wanted was to stand here and dwell on the near argument that they had had. No, she needed to keep herself on track, and she was in the middle of researching a very important chapter in her book.
Which made it very inconvenient that all she seemed to be able to keep thinking about was Kaden and the look on his face when he had hinted at things from his past. She wanted to know more.
If only she could open him like a book and read him, then perhaps it would make everything easier to understand. At least she wished it was that easy.
Nearly everything was just the way she had left it when she located her workspace once more.
The same books were still open, and her notes were undisturbed.
She settled back into her chair, but focusing was three times more difficult now that she was so distracted.
Her writing was slower, and she struggled not to read the same paragraph three or four times over.
After an hour or so, she finally got back into the flow of things, or so she thought.
The book she was reading through kept referencing a text that she couldn’t find in Kaden’s library, no matter how hard she looked.
She spent some time searching for it, but ultimately decided that it might be best to just make a note of it and then look for it later in the village, if they had a suitable bookshop there.
Otherwise, perhaps she could convince Kaden to order it for her.
She jotted a note in the corner of her journal and blew on the paper gently so that it would dry more quickly, but the moment she exhaled, a loud crash came from the other side of the library. She jumped right out of her chair and glanced around with wide eyes.
Oh no, if Maggie crashed into something and got hurt, she didn’t know what she was going to do! Maggie was the only familiar, friendly face from home in this place!
Emily made to move around a bookcase, when Maggie skidded right around the corner toward her, her short tail tucked firmly between her legs. The moment Maggie saw her, she ran right behind her, cowering.
That certainly was not the behavior of a puppy that had just been naughty, but Emily knew that she needed to investigate the sound anyway. She picked Maggie up and put her on the chair she had been sitting on. Maggie promptly jumped back down and went to hide under the desk instead.
“Stay there, then,” Emily muttered, knowing full well that Maggie likely didn’t understand a single word she said.
She didn’t have the slightest clue where Ailis and her daughters had gotten off to, but she knew that since she hadn’t seen them leaving while she was in the hallway with Kaden, there had to be a second entrance to the library somewhere.
It was quite large after all, so it made sense that there would be another space.
She didn’t want to call out and draw attention to herself if it was one of them, because she was unlikely to be allowed to get back to her work if she raised a fuss.
So she kept quiet, walking on silent feet as she rounded the corner to a warm, open space.
There was a large hearth with a roaring fire, and a pot of tea sat above the flames to boil.
Large armchairs and a sturdy table were pushed off to one side, leaving the comfortable rug in the middle to be the center of attention.
It was so inviting, like it begged somebody to sit or lie there and read the hours away. How had she not managed to find this place among the stacks of books when she had been exploring earlier? She would have chosen this to be her workspace straight away!
But the second entrance to the library was also very obviously next to the fireplace.
Even more important than that, Kaden was standing there, muttering curses to himself with his back turned toward her.
She scurried back behind a shelf so she couldn’t see what he had obviously broken.
She didn’t wish to be seen, but after a few moments that showed she hadn’t yet been caught, she chanced another glance.
The second door burst open, and in rushed a shockingly beautiful woman. She was focused on Kaden and him alone, clean linen and a jar of ointment in her hands. Whatever he had broken must have cut his palm.
Memories of the pair of them resting by the lake and Emily taking care of him flashed through her mind.
“Daenae fash, me Laird. I’ll take care of everything,” the woman muttered, placing the supplies on the table and then bending to start picking up the pieces of the thing he had broken.
“Cleaning up after me now, Shona?” Kaden teased.
They were on a first-name basis?
Emily stole another glance at this Shona, who blushed and looked away from Kaden a touch too quickly.
Did the two of them have history?
A sour, sinking feeling settled in her gut. If Kaden had a mistress here in the castle, he should have at least said something to her. It would have been the decent thing to do. What was the point in even attempting to seduce her when he was clearly involved with another woman?
Rage was building far too quickly in her chest, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to tear her eyes away from the scene in front of her.
Shona bent and started picking up the shards of glass and porcelain, the pieces of whatever they may have been before, and Kaden leaned against the table, putting the ointment on his injured palm and setting about bandaging it.
He looked far too comfortable and experienced in patching himself up.
Why had he let her attend to him by the lake, then?
“And since when do ye call me ‘me Laird’ when we are alone?” he asked, but there was no hint of a playful smirk on his face like there was when he spoke to Emily. At least there was that.
Shona shrugged. “Seems more appropriate now?” She set the broken pieces onto the table. “I daenae think that can be mended, though.”
Kaden shrugged back. “Doesnae matter. It was in the way anyway.”
“Ye seem tense. Is it about something else, then?”
He shook his head. “Would it matter if it were?”
“I could help relieve some of the tension, if ye like?” Shona suggested.
As sultry as her words sounded to Emily’s ears, they seemed to have almost no effect on Kaden whatsoever. If anything, he sounded almost cold when he answered her.
“There’ll be nay need for anything like that now.”
“Ah, right, because ye are to be married now?” Shona asked, her gaze trained firmly on the floor.
It looked like she was scanning it for more broken pieces, but her question was anything but casual.
“That’s right. I am to be married.”
Emily knew that she ought to be relieved that this woman was no longer his mistress, but the jealousy gnawing at her wouldn’t settle. She wanted it to be gone, but it wouldn’t release, her knowing that this stunning woman had had Kaden already.
Her mind immediately ran away with her, wanting to know more about their history, how long ago it was, and how long it had gone on for. She didn’t want to have to live in the shadow of another woman who was still living in the damned castle.
Her hands fisted into the skirt of her dress tightly, and she bit down on her lip to keep from making an indignant sound.
Her first fiancé had been perfectly clear that she would never be pretty enough to be his only woman, that she could never, ever hope to satisfy a man like him.
He had gone on at length, beating her down with comments that she would be a terrible wife, that even looking at her was difficult sometimes.
She knew that she was a handsome woman, and he only wanted her to feel bad or inferior. It had enraged him that she refused to be made less than. And he was a man that she hated.
She wanted Kaden to like her.
“I apologize, Kaden. I hadnae realized that it was like that.” Shona brushed her hands off on her skirt and moved to sit on the table beside him. At least she wasn’t trying to touch him. “I’ve ken ye for a long time. Since we were what, wee bairns?”
Kaden nodded once.
“Even before ye were taken, and even then I had never seen ye look at a lassie twice.” Shona bumped his shoulder with her own. “It’s nice to see ye besotted. So many rumors say that yer time away had robbed ye of all emotion, ye ken?”
“We had our fun once, hadnae we?” Kaden huffed a snort, but the moment passed quickly. “Sometimes I think that ye were the only one who paid me any real mind after I returned.” He sighed and nodded once. “But there hasnae been a lady like Emily.”
Shona gasped dramatically and clutched at her chest. “Say it isnae true!”
The false affront on her face eased some of the tension in Emily’s shoulders. Were they truly just friends?
“It’s true.” Kaden almost smiled, but not quite. He clenched his hands around the edge of the table with a shrug. “Though I fear that I’ve been doing everything wrong. If she doesnae hate me now, she will, eventually.”
“Ye’re far too hard on yerself, Kaden. There is nothing in ye to hate,” Shona answered immediately, sounding upset that he would even dare to imply such a thing.
“She didnae much care for me to begin with.” Kaden sighed.
“I doubt that very much. The lass could be professing her undying love and obsession to yer face, and ye still would think that she was indifferent toward ye.” Shona rolled her eyes.
“But it’s nae going to be like seducing an old lass at a feast, ye ken?
She’s a lady and agreed to be yer wife… that requires softness. ”
Kaden gave her a look.
“Daenae give me that look, Kaden. Ye ken that I’m right.
Ye can and will win her over. Ye have a good heart.
They might have tried on more than one occasion to rip it out of ye, torture ye past sanity, but they didnae break ye.
” Shona turned and placed her hand on his.
She gave it a soft, reassuring pat. “Ye ken that just as well as I do. Just as I ken that it’ll always be a fight to stay away from that dark place. ”
Now Emily almost wanted to cry.
This woman seemed to know Kaden better than she could ever hope to. It might be an irrational reaction, but she couldn’t seem to make herself stop, either.
“Ye wouldnae be drawn to her if she didnae ken her own mind,” Shona said confidently.
“Ye just need to remember what it is like nae to bumble about and bash into things all the time. Which—and I ken this will be even more difficult—ye might have to trust her more than ye are comfortable with. Ye cannae have that much to lose. She already agreed to marry ye.” She paused and tapped her chin with her finger.
“Actually, now that I’ve said it out loud, perhaps the lass isnae very smart, after all. ”
Kaden shoved her back, and she giggled, nearly toppling off the table.
“Alright, alright! I’m just saying, never underestimate the power of a gesture. Hm?” Shona concluded and rose to her feet. “Are ye settled?”
She nodded toward his hand, before picking up the supplies that she had brought with her.
Kaden nodded.
“And if ye need me, I’ll be here to knock some sense into ye. It’s the least I can do.”
Kaden nodded again. “I’ll try, thank ye.”