Chapter 34
Dougal returned to his study to do anything but think of Skye. To do anything but think of how she had looked at him as he broke her heart.
It was the last thing he had wanted to say, but it was the only thing he could say.
“Dougal Grant, ye have gone mad.”
He watched his mother pace in front of his desk. He had called her to his study to inform her that Skye was leaving tomorrow. She hadn’t believed him at first, until she remembered that he wouldn’t joke about something like this.
“Is that a question or a statement, Maither?”
“Both.”
Dougal sighed. “Then let me answer yer question. Nay, I havenae gone mad. I’ve made the best decision for everyone.”
“The best decision for everyone, or the best decision for ye?”
“Maither, I understand this might be hard to take, but?—”
“Nay, Dougal. I cannae believe ye are willing to do such a thing when ye clearly?—”
“Maither, I called ye in here so I could do ye the courtesy of telling ye before Skye leaves tomorrow. It isnae up for discussion.”
“A courtesy? Ye have the gall to call this a courtesy?” Kenna scoffed, her mouth pressing into a thin line.
“Aye, better ye hear it from me than the servants, and I figured ye would want a chance to say goodbye.”
She clenched her fists. “Ye’re a fool, Dougal. A fool who’s about to let the best thing that’s happened to this family in seven years walk out the door.”
“Maither,” he warned.
“Nay, I’ll say me piece.”
“I daenae want to hear it, Maither. Prepare yerself because Skye is leaving tomorrow. Be up bright and early so ye can say goodbye.”
“And Lily?”
“I was hoping ye would get her up as well,” he admitted. “She willnae forgive me for this, but I daenae ken if I’ll ever be able to make it up to her if she doesnae at least get to say goodbye.”
“Ye’d have the poor child wake up to say farewell to the woman she has grown so close to, and ye willnae even tell me why!”
Dougal’s jaw tensed. “I have me reasons.”
“And ye willnae share yer reasons with me?”
“Some things are private, Maither,” Dougal stated, his voice flat. “I’m sure there are things ye havenae told me. Respect me enough to let the matter rest.”
Kenna did not say another word. She turned and left, shutting the door behind her.
Dougal did not attempt to go after her. There was no point when she was so angry with him. She would eventually come to accept that this was how it had to be, and so would Lily. They would forgive him in time, and if they didn’t, then there was nothing he could do about it.
The person he was worried about hurting the most was Lily. She wasn’t going to forgive him, at least not right away. She adored Skye, which had not been part of the plan.
She wasn’t supposed to bond with Skye. She wasn’t supposed to grow to love the woman he had invited into his home for only a month. Skye’s stay here always had an expiration date. It was never supposed to become permanent, even if a part of him wanted her to remain here as his betrothed.
Footsteps approached his door. He paused, half expecting Stephen or his mother to barge in and try to talk some sense into him. He did not want to hear any more of it. The two had tried to change his mind and had failed. They were allowed their attempts, but he wasn’t going to stand for it anymore.
But the footsteps skittered off. Probably a servant.
Then he thought about Skye and what would happen if she walked in. He would send her away as well.
The footsteps faded down the corridor until silence settled back over the room. Dougal exhaled, releasing the tension he hadn’t realized he had been holding. He rubbed a hand over his face, weary in a way sleep wouldn’t fix.
Perhaps it was better this way. If his mother or Stephen couldn’t reach him, then neither could the doubt creeping at the edges of his resolve. He’d made his decision. Rehashing it with people who only wanted to talk him out of it would accomplish nothing.
He hadn’t meant for things to end this way between them. He never had. Dougal moved to the window, staring out at the darkened grounds below. Somewhere out there, life would carry on without him complicating it further.
That was for the best. Skye deserved better than a man who couldn’t give her what she truly wanted.
He closed his eyes, letting the quiet of the room wrap around him like a shroud. Whatever came next, he would face it alone. It was, he told himself, exactly how it needed to be.
Skye did not sleep that night.
Every time she tried, she woke up with tears staining her pillow. She kept replaying Dougal’s words over and over, wishing they were not true.
A part of her wanted to go to him. To demand to know why he was doing this. Why he was hurting them both. But she knew he would not answer. He would keep her at a distance.
She wasn’t even sure if he would show up this morning to bid her goodbye. He might only do so for Lily’s sake.
In the end, she stayed up most of the night finishing her packing.
The morning unfolded with a sad air surrounding the castle. She and her sister dressed, their bags already loaded in the carriage. Lily was crying, refusing to let go of her. She kept begging her to stay, telling her that she would be a good girl.
It broke her heart that Lily thought this had anything to do with her. None of this was about her. This was all between her and Dougal.
“Ye promise ye’ll write to me?” Lily’s arms were locked stubbornly around her middle, refusing to let go even as the horses stamped and shifted impatiently behind them, their harnesses jingling in the cold morning air.
“I promise ye, sweetling.” Skye knelt before her, ignoring the damp soaking through her skirts, and brushed a loose curl from the girl’s tear-streaked face, memorizing the shape of her nose, the stubborn set of her chin so like her father’s, the particular green of her eyes she had grown to love more than she had meant to.
“I’ll write ye every tale I can think of, and ye’ll write me back and tell me all about Blossom’s mischief. ”
“And the goat’s mischief.”
“Aye, and the goat’s mischief. Especially the goat’s mischief, since he seems to cause the most trouble of anyone in this whole castle, present company excluded.”
The animals were there at Lily’s side, almost as if they knew that Skye was leaving.
Kenna stood nearby, watching with a sad smile on her face. She had already bid Skye farewell, wanting to give her a chance to say goodbye to Lily. She was a good grandmother. No one could ever accuse her of being anything except that.
Lily sniffled hard, burying her face in Skye’s shoulder for one last moment. Skye held her just as tightly, soaking up her warmth for whatever came next, whatever emptiness awaited her back home.
“I really liked our adventures, Skye. The treasure hunt, and the sweets we stole from Cook, and the singing competition Blossom refused to participate in.”
“As did I, more than ye ken, sweetling. More than I could ever properly tell ye.” Skye pulled back just enough to look her in the eye, blinking hard to hold back her tears. “Something tells me that yer faither means to take ye on a great many more adventures, lassie, whether he admits it or nae.”
“Truly? Even without ye here?”
The question landed harder than Skye had expected, and she had to swallow before answering. She did not trust her voice not to waver. “Truly.”
“Something tells me she’s right,” Dougal’s voice said, close behind them.
Skye froze at the sound, every carefully rebuilt wall threatening to crumble all over again.
Lily spun around, delight momentarily chasing the tears from her face. “Da! Are we truly going on adventures? Where?”
“Wherever ye like, little one. Even so far as yer grandfaither’s clan, if that suits ye.” His gaze had already found Skye’s over the top of Lily’s head, steady and unreadable, and she forced herself to hold it rather than look away, despite what it cost her.
“Travel? Truly? All the way there?” Lily’s attention scattered instantly, chasing after the promise of going somewhere new.
For one brief, unguarded moment, it left Dougal and Skye alone amid the bustle of the courtyard, neither quite willing to be the first to speak.
Skye rose slowly to her feet, smoothing her skirts more out of habit than necessity, giving her hands something to do besides reach for him the way they ached to. “That’s kind of ye. Taking her to meet him properly after everything.”
“It’s nae only kindness.” Dougal’s gaze hadn’t left her face, steady in a way that made her chest ache. “She deserves to ken her family, whatever shape it takes. I’ve learned that much this past week, if naught else.”
Skye wasn’t sure of what to say. She gazed at him, wishing he would change his mind. It was his last chance.
But he didn’t.
“Ye were the best false betrothed a lass could ask for,” she said. She couldn’t even believe the words tumbled out of her mouth.
Of all the things she could say, it had to be that?
“I hope ye found everything ye were looking for when ye agreed to the arrangement.”
Skye blinked back tears. “I did.”
“Goodbye, Skye.”
“Goodbye, Dougal,” she whispered. “But I need to ask one thing of ye before I go. Stop forcing the title of the Lion of the Highlands onto yerself. Give it a rest because it isnae the truth.”
Without another word, she climbed into the carriage.
Freya reached over to take her hand. “Are ye all right?”
Skye blinked, forcing a smile. “Nay, I am nae all right, but it doesnae matter, does it?”
“It does matter, little sister.”
She glanced out the window, not sure how to feel about going home. Before, she had been eager to go home to see her family, but now she was dreading it because it meant she would no longer see Dougal, Lily, or Kenna.
A part of her was even going to miss those precious animals Lily was so fond of. Not because she herself was fond of them, but because they reminded her of Lily.
Everything was going to remind her of those three for a while.
“Skye, if ye need to talk?—”
She shook her head. “Nay, I daenae want to talk right now, Freya. Perhaps when we get home, I may be willing to talk, but nae now.”
The two of them fell into silence.
Skye was grateful her sister did not push. Right now, she just wanted to forget that any of this had ever happened.
It was easier said than done, but she was going to try.